Colorado State University--Pueblo has begun offering a bachelor's degree in cannabis.

Really puts the "high" in Rocky Mountain High, amright? Amiright??

((groan))

According to CNN, Colorado (which allows legal sales of marijuana) has reaped over $1 billion in revenue from the sale of the devil's lettuce. Where there's money to be made, educational programs will follow.

As a result, Colorado State University's Pueblo campus announced plans to start a cannabis program, which they expect upward of 60 undergraduates to enroll. Students will have two tracks in which to focus, one based on the natural products and biology of marijuana, while another focuses on the chemistry of the plant.

This feels like a missed opportunity for a cooking class spotlighting weed brownies and CBD gummies.

Two incoming freshman at Texas State University just spent twenty hours remodeling their new dorm room.

Okay, okay--let's be clear--no relatively sane freshman has the time or money to invest in a dorm room to this level. A couple of plastic tubs for storage and a feather duster is about as high-end as most dorms get.

But incoming Texas State University freshmen Skylar Bantz and Adeline Vela have a lot of time on their hands and come from delightfully obsessive families, the type that make holiday gatherings so enjoyably uncomfortable and the inspiration for Hollywood scriptwriters everywhere.

Bantz and Vela met through an online chat group before becoming roommates, and they spent the summer texting plans for how they wanted their dorm to look. Bantz's mother proudly posted pictures on Facebook and let the world know seven people and twenty hours worth of work went into the transformation. The price tag? $2,400.






It turns out that the Bantz family is a beauty pageant family, which explains 75% of how this remotely came about.

The other 25%? It's Texas.




We all admit that in two weeks' time this dorm room will look like a volcano of clothes erupted all over the floor, right?

Listen, Moms and Dads: Odds are your freshman college student doesn't feel so hot about life because of you.

A 2015 Harris poll is making waves again as the college year is about to start. The poll, which surveyed 1,502 first-year students, found that 60% wished they had received better emotional preparedness from parents and their high school before attending college. In addition, one-in-eight students declared that being an independent adult was "extremely or very challenging." Little do they know that every adult 28 to 108 years old feels the same way.

"Emotional preparedness" is most likely what you think it is:

1.)  The ability to adapt to new environments
2.)  The ability to take care of oneself
3.)  The ability to control negative behaviors
4.)  The ability to create positive relationships

The survey doesn't offer much in the way of solutions--and media outlets simply echo the survey results--so we're simply left with the news that students feel emotionally vulnerable and incapable of taking care of themselves at college.

In the end, incoming freshmen are staring in horror at their dorm room laundry basket and have entered DEFCON 3 levels of panic over what to do.

California's university system is doing away with math and English placement exams for incoming freshman.

But is it for honorable reasons, or just to maintain having bodies in school?

According to the Los Angeles Times, every year 25,000 incoming freshman to the California university system take a remedial math or English class. These courses are required after a placement exam suggested the student wasn't prepared enough in high school and isn't ready for a college-level workload. As one might imagine, this means 25,000 students aren't thrilled.

In a turn of events, Cal State's chancellor, Timothy P. White, issued an executive order to the 23 campus presidents that from now on incoming students should be judged on high school grades, SAT and ACT scores, and "previous classroom performance." After all, vague "performance" clauses are always a highlight of any directive.

The motivation--says White, campus presidents, and various officials--is that currently only 19% of students graduate from one of their colleges within four years. Likewise, many students required to take a remedial class (which costs tuition and fees, even if it doesn't count) tend to drop out of school altogether, as they feel alienated from the rest of the college environment. If that sounds dire all-around, it is.

Officials say one motivation behind eliminating placement exams is they want to lessen the financial burden on students for taking a remedial class. Sounds noble! Strangely, though, these same officials ignore the financial tsunami these students take on if they finish a degree. It doesn't take an economist to suggest four years of tuition costs more than one remedial class. Sounds not-so-noble!

Colleges and universities are the non-profit equivalents of Fortune 500 companies wearing humble rags for clothing. If the vast majority of 25,000 students drop out of school because of alienation and annoyance, that's a loss of revenue. But making the road a little easier so the students remain for four years? A consistent revenue stream is born.

Honorable or not, someone loses regardless.

Rhode Island becomes fourth state to offer free tuition for community college.

Lawmakers in the Ocean State have passed a measure (with many stipulations) allowing free tuition at its community college through a program they label "The Promise Scholarship." There is only one community college in Rhode Island, but we are talking about a state the size of any backyard in Texas after all.

To qualify for the free tuition, students must have graduated from high school the previous spring, live in Rhode Island, be enrolled full time, and maintain a 2.5 GPA. Furthermore, after the two years, the student must continue living and working in the state for some unspecified amount of time. Might you be held prisoner for life in Rhode Island? Potentially, but I hear east Providence is lovely.

These sorts of stipulations fall in line with what the three other states that allow free tuition require. New York, Oregon, and Tennessee each allow various forms of free tuition, usually based on income and other variables. New York, for instance, limits free tuition at state schools to families who earn less than $125,000.

In case you're wondering, the median household income in New York is $60,850, although New York lawmakers say the $125,000 is still roughly the middle class.

In case you're still wondering, the IRS says that $133,000 places people in the top 10% of American income, meaning nearly 90% of New York qualifies for free tuition. If income is divided equally into upper class, middle class, and lower* class--with 1/3 each--somehow 90% just became 2/3 (middle and lower) in the state of New York.

Math is hard. Maybe a free algebra class at a community college might help.



*The euphemism of "working class" needs to end. There is no sense in allowing the term "upper class" without the equal contrast of "lower class," or to assume those in the other income brackets are somehow not "working." Tender sensibilities won't be offended by a simple fact. Lower class is simply a lower level of income, end of story.

How badly do you want to go to college? If you were accepted to UC Irvine, hopefully not too much.

Every year most colleges and universities accept hundreds--if not thousands--of extra students for their incoming freshman class. They do this because high school students usually are accepted to a variety of institutions, with many choosing to attend elsewhere.

UC Irvine had a bit of a snag with this approach, though, except they won't admit it. Recently, the university sent out notices to 499 accepted incoming students that their offer of admittance was rescinded. Why? According to the Los Angeles Times, the school claims it was for lacking duplicate transcripts or poor grades during the student's senior year of high school.

Ashley Gonzalez, one of the 499 affected students, was told her transcripts were never sent. The same story occurred to Emily Roche, another rejected student. Roche's high school's registrar verified they sent the transcripts on June 20th and blames UC Irvine for over-admitting students. As the Times goes on to explain:

"Overall, about 7,100 of the 31,103 freshmen offered admission to UC Irvine for this fall accepted it as of May, according to the UC Office of the President. That amounts to 850 more students than UC Irvine’s planned freshman class of 6,250, though some are expected to decide to enroll elsewhere this fall in what is known as “summer melt.” Still, in the last two years, the summer drop-off has been only about 250 students."

There's the rub. UC Irvine seems to be making things up as they go because they have nowhere to put the extra students. If 250 students typically "drop-off" in the summer and UC Irvine magically rescinds the offer to nearly 500 extra students, we get awfully close to the desired 6,250 number.

Meanwhile, these students can no longer apply to other schools, considering the late date. Lest you think this is overblown, UCLA rescinded their admittance offers to seven incoming freshman, while UC San Diego rescinded nine.

In essence, UC Irvine is guilty of the same practice as United Airlines was with overbooking flights. The only difference is the school hasn't bloodied their students and dragged them.

Not yet, at least.

Tired of math homework? A new app can read your handwriting and solve equations for you.

According to the company's website, "Mathpix is the world's first technology that can read pictures of your handwritten math. Simply take a photo, crop your equation of interest, and you instantly get solutions and plots." And, as the app's lead developer told the website Motherboard, the app's "algorithms get smarter over time as we get data from users."

This is crippling news to math nerds everywhere who for years have run illicit black market homework "help" in the shady corners of high schools and your lesser known Panera Bread locations. How will the geek shakedown continue if math illiterates can turn to an app now?

Sure, jocks and drama club enthusiasts alike will still fail their math finals when all technology has to be put away. But let's focus on the positive here! The math nerd monopoly has been broken!

Rock, Paper, Scissors is SO amateur hour by Alaskan standards.

A college education decision is riding on you, buddy...

Sometimes you go the rock, paper, scissors route when deciding things. Sometimes you gun down a bear. But this is Alaska we're talking about, so you get one guess where this is going.

High school senior Chase Ferris of Palmer, AK, had the choice of playing football at the University of Mary or attending the University of Wyoming to hit the books. Sports versus academics. Both had advantages for our young charge here, but both left Ferris confused what to do. So Ferris took the logical step, as the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman reports:


(Ferris) picked a spring bear hunt earlier this year to help him make the final decision. If he got the elusive bear he’d tracked before, Ferris would follow the call to play football at the University of Mary. If not, Ferris would turn his focus to academics at the University of Wyoming.

[...]

"I let it all come down to fate, and fate chose University of Mary," Ferris said Monday after he signed his National Letter of Intent to attend the Bismarck, North Dakota, school and play for the Division II Marauders. "We'd gone up for (the bear) once. We hadn't seen it in two days. I said, we kill it, I'll go play football."


Sure, why not? I'm not sure what the correlation is between bear killing and football, unless you're talking about the anemic Chicago Bear variety. But it's Alaska. This sort of rationale is Ph.D. type material.

No word on how Ferris plans to decide upon future life issues, like marriage, kids, or sensible midsized sedans. Animals have been warned to keep their heads on a swivel though.




The University of Mary football team went 1-10 last year. So a lot more bears need to die for that record to change.

13 year old Michigan boy earns a perfect ACT score.

There are no statistics on the matter, but one official suggests the odds of an eighth grader earning a perfect ACT score would be one-millionth of one percent.

Yeah, it's impressive--but can he fly?

Don't answer that.

Some Famous Writer Once Lived Here: Oxford, Mississippi

Some Famous Writer Once Lived Here is where we check out cities or towns that--you guessed it--a famous writer once lived. Picture the illegitimate lovechild between the US Census report and a tourist pamphlet from a local chamber of commerce. What's it like there today? Here's where we find out.



Today:  William Faulkner once lived in Oxford, Mississippi:

William Faulkner has been called the Shakespeare of America. This is startling because it's difficult to picture Shakespeare with a southern accent and brandishing a shotgun.

At some point in the last hundred years, Mississippi gave up the title to most frightening American state to Alabama after a lengthy struggle where multiple lives were lost in a muddin' fiasco involving pickup trucks and four-wheelers largely adorned in Confederate flags. No one knows what happened specifically, but rumors abound that it involved light beer, six brain cells, and Alabama coming out on top. Strangely, it was a high point in Mississippi's history.

Alabama celebrates victory and defeat at the same time.

While you can still hear the frightening pluck of banjos and subtle din of monster trucks in the distance, Mississippi does have some fairly polite, even classy areas largely infiltrated by a strange phenomenon called "education."

Although anyone who has ever seen a professor wear a paisley sweater vest knows education can be frightening, too.


The basics of Oxford, Mississippi:

Location:
Far north from the Gulf coast, Oxford is only 85-miles away via major highways, or 78-miles via the minor variety, from Memphis, TN, reminding people that while it might not be Xanadu or desirable, Memphis is nearby and sure as hell isn't Mississippi.

Do not confuse Oxford, MS, with Oxford, England. Common mistake. But Oxford, England, is 4,336 miles away and involves heavy amounts of dry humor and rejoicing in the rain.

2010 Census:

Population: 18,916 people make up Oxford, up 61% since 2000. Almost 1-in-3 residents resides in poverty though, proving that--oh, wow--oh, god. A third are in poverty? One of the best parts of Mississippi has that much poverty? Oh, Christ. I give up. Just continue on without me. I'm done.

Racial Makeup: In 2010, 13 people claimed to be of Hawaiian or Pacific Islander backgrounds. That's up from 2 people during the 2000 census. Those 2 people were horribly, horribly lost from rogue Google Maps coordinates, it appears.


What to see, what to do in Oxford, Mississippi:

The top thing to do in Oxford, according to TripAdvisor? Visit the University of Mississippi! Nothing says a sexy vacation quite like spending all day roaming a random college campus in 90-degree heat, sipping bourbon, and yelling something about rebel pride. That'll be the envy of everyone on your Instagram feed.

The University of Mississippi goes by the nickname Ole Miss, which they claim is from their old yearbook title, the Ole Miss Annual, and has nothhhhing to do with slaves calling the wife of a plantation owner "ole miss." As if Mississippi would ever do something subtly racist. It's practically the ACLU of the south after all.

No Rhett Butler here.

There's also William Faulkner's estate, Rowan Oak. It's like Gone with the Wind's Tara Plantation, except with less Scarlett O'Hara chest-thumping, and Rhett Butler actually doesn't give a damn and never wants to be seen at Rowan Oak. For $5 you can tour the house and remember all of those Faulkner books you made sure never to read in college.

Do you like feeling depressed? There's the Confederate Cemetery in town. Yes. That Confederacy. Says Regina from Memphis on TripAdvisor, it is "wonderful history." Oh, Regina, no matter how you approach cemeteries or slavery, no one ever pauses and thinks, "Well, you know, that's some little slice of wonderfulness right there."

Feeling like a little church revival? Swing on into College Hill Presbyterian Church, famous for its antebellum architecture and where Faulkner got married. Are you a Presbyterian? Do you want to be? No? You're making this difficult for all involved.

When in doubt, there's always Wal-Mart located about two minutes outside of the University of Mississippi's campus. Phew.


Where to eat in Oxford:

Are you tired of Colonel Sanders and Kentucky's claim to fried chicken? Visit Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken then. Do you know Gus? No. Neither do I. Is Gus lying about being world famous? Let's just agree Gus has overstepped his proclamation just a tad.

Ajax Diner sells fried food as well, but also has toothpicks in the ceiling. I'm not sure why, but if the food doesn't sell you, low expectations might do the trick.

Looking for awkward names for your restaurant of choice? There's Handy Andy. Admit it--you raised an eyebrow wondering what Andy's getting handsy over, too. Is he good with general contracting work? Sure, let's assume that.


Isn't Aubigny-sur-Nère, France, a sister city of Oxford?

Yes. And like most siblings, it really doesn't want to talk much.

Second guessing its parentage.

William Faulkner's thoughts on his hometown:

(In reference to Yoknapatawpha County, a fictional stand-in for Oxford in his books.)

"I like to think of the world I created as being a kind of keystone in the universe; that, small as that keystone is, if it were ever taken away the universe itself would collapse."

College dropout Bill Gates went on Reddit to tell people why a college education is important.

"Hey, I like big game. What can I say?"

This is like when a supermodel tells you it's okay to be ugly. It's easy when things worked out beautifully for you.

Bill Gates is the supermodel of this story. It's one thing if someone is telling you to go to college, but another when that person is one of the richest people in the world and a college dropout.

Bill Gates went on Reddit for an "Ask Me Anything" session, when he dropped this knowledge:

"I think the value of getting a great education - that is going to college - is easy to underestimate. The most interesting jobs require a college education. The STEM related jobs are probably the most interesting although they are not for everyone. The value of staying curious - reading a lot and learning new things even after college is also underestimated."

It's easy to underestimate college when you dropped out and still made $50 billion.

I personally enjoy wondering why STEM jobs are the most interesting though. It seems to matter who's delivering the message. I assume it's because Ernest Hemingway didn't share his opinion on life and interesting career choices and tell us that gunning down water buffalo as a career big game hunter is where it's at.

Western Washington University students want to create the College of Power and Liberation.

"Haha, okay, that's cute."

Over 500 students and individuals at Western Washington University have signed a petition demanding their school spend $100,000 creating a new college within the system. You know, because $100,000 is a nice, round figure, and you can demand anything you want for nice, round figures. James Bond movies teach us that.

Channeling their inner Che Guevara, the students want the "College of Power and Liberation" to be created so the university will start "providing space and resources to learn alternate histories, supporting student’s non academic work, emotional and intellectual labor that is not about publishing or service to the institution, providing often unrecognized trainings, workshops, and/or interventions on behalf of students."

I'm not certain what emotional labor is, but it sounds intense.

Using over 3,300 words to explain their demands, and eschewing Guevara, the students want $50,000 of that money to be devoted to "to put on an opening event that will introduce the College and its mission."

It sounds like a mission to throw one hell of a party. Who doesn't love $50,000 galas? Priorities, people!

Admittedly, I originally thought The Atlantic was referencing the disrespected candy.

Sugar Babies are an American confection of chococlate-covered caramel balls. Mainly it's a candy for people with low expectations in life.

So consider me confused when The Atlantic posted an article regarding the new wave of sugar babies coming to American colleges, which turns out not be candy-related at all. Or not the candy you're thinking of. Mainly these sugar babies have very high expectations in life.

The sugar babies The Atlantic refers to are college students, usually female, who look for sugar daddies, usually old men (and also a candy!), who will--ahem--find mutual assistance from one another. Using mainly statistics from the website SeekingArrangement, The Atlantic tries to connect rising college tuition rates and student debt to the spike in old fashioned May-December hookups.

The flaw with this titillating story is that the sexual correlation to student need is tenuous at best. The Atlantic points out that public school students make up the slight majority of those enrolled at SeekingArrangement--yet a private institution, New York University, has the most "sugar babies" for one college. And while The Atlantic tries to defend New York City's cost-of-living as the reasoning, that doesn't quite justify why a city like Atlanta, a relatively cheap place to live, has the highest density of "sugar daddies."

So what does all of this mean?

Humans like sex and money and references to a family of pretty basic candy. Fairly simple.

In the end, let us not forget about sugar mamas. No, I mean Sugar Mama--the candy--related to Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddy. The manufacturer hasn't made Sugar Mama since the 1980s, but I think we all know that sugar mamas in all forms have been less popularized in pop culture.

Kentucky governor isn't a fan of French literature.

Mongolia, not Kentucky.

Molière and Alexandre Dumas might want to sit down for this one.

The bastion of great intellect that we've all come to associate with the state of Kentucky is frowning at the idea of students graduating with degrees in French literature.

In a speech about proposed budge spending, Kentucky Gov. Mike Bevin argued that the state's colleges and universities aren't producing enough students with degrees for "things people want." Bevin wants to allocate tax money in proportion to graduation rates within programs. In essence, a school that graduates more electrical engineers will receive more funding than a school with higher numbers of Molière enthusiasts.

"All the people in the world that want to study French literature can do so, they are just not going to be subsidized by the taxpayer," said Bevin.

And Bevin should know what sort of "things people want" in a degree, since he received his bachelors in East Asian Studies.

Yes, yes--because when we think of Kentucky politics, we often think of the relationship to Mongolia and the like. I'm still stunned whenever I travel to Louisville and don't see a yurt.

Half the Boston College men's basketball team is sick from norovirus and a fast food jones.

Is that norovirus or deliciousness I see?

You can't deny how bloated invigorated you feel after good lord, did I just consume that? eating a Chipotle burrito. The damnit, where's the guacamole I paid extra for? even distribution of ingredients, the haphazardly thrown together care putting it together, the dried out chicken wonderful flavor explosion in your mouth always makes it a why did I go here again? memorable experience.

And for half the Boston College men's basketball team and 80 students overall, that memorable experience includes a flavor explosion of norovirus and the tender treble of stomachs gurgling in unison.

The team recently ate at a nearby Chipotle, and one after another have reported the delightful after-effects of some sort of food-born illness. Considering Chipotle being in the news lately for an E.coli outbreak they can't quite pin down, Boston College has warned all students to avoid the chain until further notice.

Yeah, but it's not often you can eat a 27 pound Chipotle burrito AND feel cleaned out at the same time. It's the little things in life.

A pregnant woman in labor continues taking her online college exam even while contractions were three minutes apart.

I once took a 5-minute pop quiz with a paper cut holding me back. Hurt like no one's business for a solid minute, I tell you, but I soldiered on in the name of education like a champ.

Which is really to say I'm pathetic. Tommitrise Collins was told she could only take a psychology exam on one given day. Timing being what it is, her soon-to-be newborn had other plans, so Collins marched forth, taking the exam from her hospital bed. Her sister, Shanell Brinkley-Chapman, posted this photo to Facebook showing Collins doing double-duty:

The Middle Georgia State University (which goes by the acronym MGA, throwing everyone off) student was told this would be the only chance to take the test. So a big shout-out to MGA for setting back equal rights for women by a hundred years! Good to see that those good ol' 19th century values still exist somewhere in America. Wouldn't want to advance them too quickly now!

German organization offers free college education to those seeking asylum in the country.

Kashif Kazmi, a 21-year old Shiite Muslim from Pakistan, fled his homeland in May to seek a better life somewhere in Europe. After traveling through nine countries, he ended up in Germany, seeking asylum and protection from Taliban-controlled regions that put the minority Shiites in danger. Kazmi's sisters and father still remain back home. "And I'm so homesick," he tells NPR.

In order to find a way to bring the rest of his family to Germany, Kazmi needs to pursue higher learning--and an opportunity might have arisen for just that

Kiron University is a Berlin-based online program aimed to refugees. As NPR notes:

"Kiron University students take courses online for the first two years, working toward a bachelor's degree while they apply for asylum and acquire the paperwork and qualifications needed to enter a partner university, local to where they are, to complete the degree."

Because he is not a German citizen, nor does he have that above-mentioned required paperwork as an asylum-seeker to act as a foreign student studying in the nation, Kazmi is denied to attend local universities. Yet, with Kiron University, that changes the equation.

As Markus Kressler, co-founder of Kiron, notes, upwards of 50% of third year students leave their schooling, opening up seats which random universities want filled. And who has their asylum papers filed usually after two years? Refugees, who should have two years of online classes under their belt as well. It all makes sense, assuming Kiron can attain the funding to supply scholarships for these students--which is what Kressler is working on.

In the meantime, Kazmi is all set and will be amongst the first to try the Kiron Program.

As he told NPR, ""Today I am a refugee, but tomorrow, I hope so, I will be in the position to be able to support others."

Study: There's a 75% chance a college student is defined as "nontraditional" these days.

A "nontraditional" student attending a college or university was usually defined as such because of their age. Think of your average 40 or 50-something going back to school to earn a degree.

But that definition has changed. According to the site EducationDive, which used data from The U.S. Department of Education, "nontraditional" today is now defined by three distinct characteristics.


1.) Did you enroll by typical standards?

In essence, did you graduate high school and immediately attend college in the fall? Or did you spend a year backpacking across Europe while picking up a habit for smoking clove cigarettes with a Swedish guy named Bjorn that you met at a hostel in Austria?

Or did you take a semester off in your sophomore year? Maybe because Bjorn was visiting?

Any sort of delay in your four-year college track now defines you as "nontraditional."


2.) What's your financial status?

Are you independent from the teet of mom and dad's checkbook? Can you afford your own groceries without needing a care package in the mail? Are you paying for college so your parents can retire before they're 90? Do you pay for your own apartment (and now, being a poor college student, have diseased lungs because you could only afford an apartment with a mold infestation), or did mom and dad throw cash at some shady landlord for you?

If you're not sucking your parents' bank accounts dry, you're considered a "nontraditional" student.


3.) Did you graduate with a high school diploma or something else, like a GED?

Those in power might call it a "high school equivalency degree," but nowadays there's nothing equal about how you're viewed. Did you get a GED instead? Apparently that makes you "nontraditional" in college, even if the GED is regarding your high school career, not beyond.

Take a second to think the logic through on that one.

As it is, with such broad-reaching characteristics at play, "nontraditional" students now make up three out of every four people attending college.

So if you follow the typical American stereotype of going to college straight out of high school, graduate in four years, and live off your parents, you know what you are now?

A weirdo.

A new college ranking says your best bet is to go to...CUNY Bernard M. Baruch College?

A ranking of 900 colleges and universities by a company called CollegeNet focused not on prestige, but on how much bang for your buck you get for attending the institution. Specifically, how well do various places of higher learning provide improvement on economic mobility and how affordable are these schools to families of disadvantaged financial means?

The top ten schools according to CollegeNet are nothing remotely close to those found in the Princeton Review or U.S. News and World Report's annual listings.

CollegeNet's ten are (with U.S. News and World Report's ranking as comparison):

And where do U.S. News and World Report's top five colleges and universities rank on CollegeNet's social mobility index?

I think we all kind of knew on some level that what's-its-face school...hold on, let me look it up again...uhh...CUNY Bernard M. Baruch College was where we all dreamed to go.


Ranking Graphs: CollegeNet, U.S. News, via Yahoo

The 610 smartest colleges and universities in America, according to Business Insider

Only 610?

Well, that narrows it down.