Florida governor suggests Yale University should leave Connecticut for--yes--Florida.

Gov. Scott just daydreamed of Yale.

First:  It's Florida.

Second:  It's a politician.

Third:  It's Yale, so we shouldn't really care.

Florida governor--and all around good time to have a laugh at--Rick Scott decided to offer a press release in the wake of news that the state of Connecticut is debating whether to tax the profits on Yale's $26 billion endowment, which gained a $2.6 billion return last year.

Obviously, a 315-year old university long established in one spot in this country might pick up and move on a whim--so you have to strike while there's momentum, Rick Scott!

"With news that the Connecticut Legislature wants to unfairly tax one of the nation’s most renowned universities to deal with the state’s budget shortfall, it is clear that all businesses in Connecticut, including Yale, should look to move to Florida," said a press release from Scott's office.

Exactly. I mean, what's holding Oxford back while we're at it? England? Time to pick up and head to Florida, too. But as long as it's ALL Connecticut businesses the governor wants, so ESPN can lead the caravan out of Bristol and pick up Yale on the way down.

What else, Governor?

"We would welcome a world-renowned university like Yale to our state and I can commit that we will not raise taxes on their endowment. This would add yet another great university to our state," he continued.

Oh, you could nearly squeeze his cheeks, he's so adorable with his innocence! There's really only one university worth noting in Florida, that being the University of Miami, which is what Scott must be referencing. After that you're playing with alchemy if you venture to Florida State or the University of Florida, as there's more silver than gold there.

Case in point, as the New York Post notes, Florida State ranked number three on Playboy's best party schools.

It's exactly like Yale if Yale forgot the whole 'education' angle.

A new college ranking says your best bet is to go to...CUNY Bernard M. Baruch College?

A ranking of 900 colleges and universities by a company called CollegeNet focused not on prestige, but on how much bang for your buck you get for attending the institution. Specifically, how well do various places of higher learning provide improvement on economic mobility and how affordable are these schools to families of disadvantaged financial means?

The top ten schools according to CollegeNet are nothing remotely close to those found in the Princeton Review or U.S. News and World Report's annual listings.

CollegeNet's ten are (with U.S. News and World Report's ranking as comparison):

And where do U.S. News and World Report's top five colleges and universities rank on CollegeNet's social mobility index?

I think we all kind of knew on some level that what's-its-face school...hold on, let me look it up again...uhh...CUNY Bernard M. Baruch College was where we all dreamed to go.


Ranking Graphs: CollegeNet, U.S. News, via Yahoo

College student who was accepted to all eight Ivy League schools makes his decision where to attend.

In a surprise to everyone, Tunde Ahmad selected Cornell University.

No-HA! No one would ever do that.

Ahmad chose Yale. It's always Harvard or Yale.

Here he is on the Ellen Degeneres Show making his decision, where Ellen also gives him the good news that she'll pick up the tuition tab.

Yale students protest their own professor, who happens to be a Nobel Prize winner.

Yale students in a Introductory Macroeconomics lecture given by Nobel Prize winner Robert Schiller interrupted his class with a (Yale equivalent of a) prank. The prank consisted of having their cellphones erupt en masse, before charging the lectern to present Schiller with a paper scroll and a bell, according to the Yale Daily News, then announcing "For talking about your Nobel Prize more than anyone else, we present you with the Yes-bell Prize." Then a small herd of students walked out of the lecture.

Get it? No-bel? Yes-bell?

ZING!

Because your everyday undergraduate knows about Nobel Prize winners more than anyone else, amiright??

That (lack of) high comedy came in a lecture hall of 400 students, where Schiller occasionally mentions he won the 2013 Nobel Prize for Economics. Because when you're talking about your research to an introductory class of college students, hey, you might mention how that aligned with your award.

Thank goodness these students are so humble as to accept being taught by an international award winner with grace. It's the economic equivalent of being taught by Ernest Hemingway, and then telling him to stick it because he mentions his book that won a lot of awards.

Most common grade at Harvard University is an A, admits dean.

Confirming suspicions of a grade inflation issue at one of America's premier colleges and universities, the Dean of Undergraduate Education at Harvard University, Jay M. Harris, told the school newspaper the most commonly awarded grade is an A, while the median grade is an A-.

A university full of geniuses? Not quite. The same issue has plagued many colleges and universities, most notably the Ivy League variety. A review of grades at Yale University between 2010 and 2012 showed that 62% of all grades were in the A range.

This all comes on the heals of Princeton University's desire to reexamine its grading policy implemented in 2004, which required that no more than 35% of an individual class's grades should be an A. Critics deem it grade deflation, which puts Princeton in the back of the pack when it comes to which Ivy League school the elites want to attend.

As Yale student Aaron Berman told the school newspaper, "The feeling I got after visiting Princeton was that the grade deflation put too much pressure on students and made students feel as if they were competing for grades."

Because if there's one thing a student shouldn't do, it's work hard for a grade.

The top-20 colleges and universities with four-year graduation rates.

On average, 41% of incoming undergraduates actually graduate on time (in four years). That number differs drastically based on a variety of factors (states, schools, etc.).

But some schools are just better at getting their students out the door on time with a diploma--which U.S. News and World Report documents in their list of colleges and universities with highest graduation rates.

Experts claim the following schools are more selective with choosing students for admission, thus bringing in a higher caliber individual who will graduate on time. Any validity to that? Meh.

I say that 17 out of the top 20 schools are all on the east or west coast. The midwest? They're bumming around.

So oceans make people graduate faster. Any validity to that? Damn right.

School	4-year graduation rate
1.) Webb Institute Glen Cove, NY	92%
2.) Bowdoin College Brunswick, ME	91%
3.) Carleton College Northfield, MN	91%
4.) Williams College Williamstown, MA	91%
5.) College of the Holy Cross Worcester, MA	90%
6.) Columbia University New York, NY	90%
7.) Boston College Chestnut Hill, MA	89%
8.) Davidson College Davidson, NC	89%
9.) Georgetown University Washington, DC	89%
10.) Haverford College Haverford, PA	89%
11.) Lafayette College Easton, PA	89%
12.) Pomona College Claremont, CA	89%
13.) University of Notre Dame Notre Dame, IN	89%
14.) Yale University New Haven, CT	89%
15.) Dartmouth College Hanover, NH	88%
16.) Johns Hopkins University Baltimore, MD	88%
17.) Middlebury College Middlebury, VT	88%
18.) Princeton University Princeton, NJ	88%
19.) Washington and Lee University  Lexington, VA	88%
20.) Washington University in St. Louis         St. Louis, MO	88%

'Poopetrator' attacking Yale laundry rooms.

The Yale Daily News reports someone has been terrorizing the Saybrook College laundry room by defecating on clothing left behind in dryers. The 'Poopetrator' has delivered their calling card of chaos on unattended clothes four times in the past month.

Student Lucy Fleming, who had her clothes soiled by the turd terrorist, tells the student newspaper, "The fact that this could happen at Yale is shocking to me. Think about what this means for our community."

It means someone needs to invest in some Charmin.







The best part of the article is in the comments, where Yalies show they can keep things in perspective:

"How could something like this happen at Yale? It would NEVER happen at Harvard, Princeton, or Columbia. Just saying..."

"The perp will fit right in with the #OccupyWallStreet crowd."

"I am letting loose a wail of shame and fear! A sad day for all Yale students, faculty, janitors, and most of all parents."

A "wail of shame and fear."

A wail. Of shame. And fear.

Conservative blogger: 9% of Yale students report having been paid for sex at some point.

And here is where I make some crass joke about sex in college and liken it to my matinee idol looks or sharp sense of style, and claim I'm always paid for sex--then maybe add in a wonky ZING! or Wanka-wanka-wanka!--and you sit there wondering how you stumbled upon this blog when all you were looking for was shirtless writers and plot recaps of Danzy Senna novels you can't bring yourself to read.

So, there you go. We just had a John Barth blog moment.






Yale sex story here.