Kentucky's annual budget looks to cut 1/3 of funding to libraries, which would force some to close.

"Kentucky is a cultural bastion of intellectual pursuits," said no one ever.

Which explains why Kentucky legislators have proposed cutting state funding to libraries from $7.8 million to $5.3 million, with additional language written into the bill that funding only go toward construction costs--mainly to support government bonds already committed to.

As the Lexington Herald Leader notes, many poor, rural communities that rely heavily on state aid to maintain a library might need to close.

"For the Hickman County library, state aid makes up 57 percent of the budget. For Knott County's library, it's 23 percent. For Livington County's library, it's 22 percent."

Republican lawmakers believe libraries have been receiving too much support while sitting on reserves of cash, as if librarians are Scrooge McDuck diving into a sea of gold coins.

"Some of them are sitting on quite a bit of cash, and I’ve been contacted from a lot of fiscal courts and county judge-executives saying our libraries keep raising taxes and we can’t do anything about it," said House Budget chairman Steve Rudy (R), Paducah.

Yes--those pesky libraries that somehow have the authority to just raise taxes randomly. Happens all the time.

A close approximation of what Kentucky lawmakers think librarians are doing

Some counties are cripplingly poor. As the Herald Leader notes, 22% of Powell County's 12,442 residents live in poverty. They only receive $13,000 in library aid from the state, which covers the cost of electricity, internet services, and programming for adults. Not salaries, not for new books. Just basic functioning of the building.

"In our area, quite a lot of the community doesn't have access to the Internet," one librarian told the newspaper. "You can come to us or you can go to the McDonald's or the Dairy Queen. But the difference is, we don't make you order anything to use the Internet. And not everyone has five bucks to spend around here just to go online."

That's right. The Dairy Queen in town in where all poor children should go to learn after school. Where else can they get internet access AND learn about the culinary delights that is soft serve?

Someone threw out $1,000 worth of savings bonds with some books.

Employees at the "Never Enough Books" store in Easthampton, MA, try to make sure books don't end up in landfills.

They inadvertently just made sure they didn't throw out a small fortune, too.

According to local television station WWLP, employee Veronica Eggleston and other workers were recently combing the store's warehouse when stray pieces of paper caught her eye. The stray pieces of paper turned out to be a handful of Series EE bonds stuck to a used book. Added-up, they're roughly worth $1,000.

"[T]hat’s a lot of money. A family could certainly use that, especially now," Eggleston told the station.

There was no identifying information tied to the bonds, no names, no addresses--nothing to track down the original owners.

Which is to say that if we all get out story straight, we can pretend we lost the bonds and split the $1,000 together.

Elementary school shows "The Lion King" during a fundraiser. Now it owes Disney $250.

"One of the dads bought the movie at Best Buy," PTA president David Rose told CNN. "He owned it. We literally had no idea we were breaking any rules."

So it goes for the folks at Emerson Elementary School in Berkeley, CA, which was hosting a fundraiser for "parents' night out." They showed the 2019 remake of The Lion King during the festivities--and, in the process, raised about $750 for the school.

That is until Movie Licensing USA caught wind of the event. The company represents Disney and other major Hollywood studios for licensing issues. They emailed Emerson explaining that since the school didn't have a license to publicly show the movie, they owe Disney $250. The PTA says they won't fight it and will give Disney the money.

Disney's net income for 2019 was $10.44 billion on record revenue of $69.57 billion.

They want $250 from a school.

That's all you really need to know.

Gallup Poll: Americans visit the library more than movies, zoos, and museums combined.

That's not the real story here.

Sure, Gallup breaks it down by income (what?!--poor people visit the library more than rich people?!), gender (what?!--men visit sporting events more than women?!), and age (what?--college-aged people use libraries more than middle-aged folk?!).

Mind = blown.

No, no, no. The real news from all of this polling is that people who have children under 18 are nearly twice as likely to visit a "gambling casino"* than those who don't have children. That's the big takeaway.

Questions arise. Are parents looking to win some sweet, sweet casino cash to send little Bobby or Suzie off to college? Maybe they're burning through their retirement after realizing how their progeny turned out? Are they looking for vacation money so they can escape their child?

Or are they bringing the little ones to the casino itself? It is a wonderful world of sights and sounds after all, and little Bobby and Suzie need to earn their keep. Those slots don't spin themselves, y'know?




*"Gambling casino" is Gallup's phrase, which is a little odd. Are there casinos where gambling doesn't occur? Just casual casinos? Casinos where people mingle and eat finger sandwiches and talk about the weather? Because this is how the great Google machine defines casino:

Or is Gallup gambling on redundancy?

In a nutshell: Two people who are not blood relatives of John Steinbeck continue decades-long fight over his estate.

You know how it goes. A famous person marries a few times. They die. Multiple heirs contest who gets what despite everyone making money. It's like the worst reality TV show ever aired on Bravo.

In essence, that's what's been ongoing with John Steinbeck's extended family for decades--and it's been a classic case of contempt and lawsuits.


Quick Synopsis Time!:
The Nobel laureate and writer of The Grapes of Wrath and East of Eden died in 1968, while married to his third wife Elaine of 18 years. With his second wife, Gwyndolyn, Steinbeck had two sons, Thomas and John.

Seemingly attempting to be fair to all, Steinbeck divvied up how his family could earn income from his novels after his death. In short, Elaine was bequeathed interest from earlier works Steinbeck outright-owned the copyright to. Meanwhile, his sons would receive royalties from copyrights later. Copyright law is a mindless labyrinth and confusing to everyone, so we'll skip the minutia.

Elaine dies years later. In her own will, she leaves her Steinbeck income to her daughter from a previous marriage (and Steinbeck's stepdaughter), Waverly Scott Kaffaga.

Meanwhile, both sons died, with Thomas leaving his royalties to his own wife (and Steinbeck's daughter-in-law) Gail Knight Steinbeck.

Still following? Let's Continue!:
Now, Gail and Waverly have been in court for years fighting for more money.

In 2017, Waverly was awarded $13 million by a jury after it was found that Gail was trying to interfere with Waverly's negotiations with movie studios for film adaptations. In September, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals reduced the verdict to roughly $5 million, but still found in Waverly's favor. Yet, Gail and Waverly continue fighting in court over who owns what and who has done one wrong.

Why? Because there was yet another agreement signed by the then-living parties in 1983 how this would all be divided up. Alas (((rubs temples furiously)))--copyright law being what it is, which is full of jargon and a myriad of poorly-worded language--Gail believes she has rights to works, while Waverly contends only she does.

All of this means the case eventually could end up in the United States Supreme Court, as The Hollywood Reporter explains.

In conclusion:
Two people who are not blood relatives of John Steinbeck want John Steinbeck's money.

This is why I choose to remain broke. My heirs can't quibble with their inheritance if there's no inheritance.

Not to be outdone by Mark Twain, E.B. White's old house is for sale as well.

If you're looking to buy a famous writers New England farmhouse, but Mark Twain's humble $1.85 million Connecticut abode doesn't do it for you, drive deeper into the northern reaches of New England and there you can take a gander at E.B. White's $3.7 million property now up for sale in rural, coastal Maine.

Like Twain, E.B. White's former shack is a sprawling farmhouse--although White's has a literary connection beyond the author himself. The property includes the barn that inspired White to write Charlotte's Web.

Located in North Brooklin--or roughly a five hour drive northeast of Boston--the 44 1/2 acre saltwater farm sits beside the Atlantic with 2,000 feet of shore frontage. Included is a boathouse, a pond, meticulous gardens, and the aforementioned barn, which includes the rope swing mentioned in the book.

Never to let an animal-inspired moment pass unnoticed, PETA has reached out to the real estate agent in charge via a press release, asking that "the owners convert the home into an empathy museum for pigs, complete with a vegan café offering veggie sausages, vegan BLTs, and more."

Wait--PETA isn't done yet with ideas. The organization continues:

"E.B. White's portrayal of a pig named Wilbur inspired people all over the world to take a closer look at the animals they consider to be 'food' and go vegan," PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote. "A PETA museum in his historic farmhouse would help visitors see that every pig is some pig, an intelligent individual and not a collection of sausages, bacon, and chops."

Okay, well, we know that isn't happening. Forget the vegan angle. PETA must be anticipating literally tens of people to drive five hours from civilization to have a veggie BLT.




photo: Mark Fleming / Yankee Magazine

Mark Twain's old farmhouse is up for sale.

Great news for the two or three people in the world pining to live in rural Connecticut, as Mark Twain's old farmhouse is up for sale for the low-low asking price of $1.85 million.

Lest you think you're getting some shack with some name recognition, the house was gutted in 2013 by its current owners and updated throughout. According to the real estate listing, the property showcases a "[s]tunning new designer kitchen with Cream Marfil marble counters, custom cabinetry" along with "Gaggenau premium appliances."

If you're scratching your head at what "Cream Marfil" is--as I was--it's apparently just the Spanish word for ivory. (Yes, my Spanish needs work.) And if you're wondering what "Gaggenau premium appliances" cost, well, roughly your entire checking account and your personal modesty.

The listing also notes Twain's estate now has "Carlisle hickory signature floors, antiqued ceiling beams, stone bridges, a projection screen, art room, barn, and a "gunite swimming pool."

If you're scratching your head again at what a "gunite swimming pool" is--as I was--it's apparently just a form of concrete. (Yes, my real estate-to-English translation skills need work, too.) And if you're wondering what "Carlisle hickory signature floors" go for, well, roughly two years worth of your retirement savings and all human decency.

The estate was bought by Twain for his daughter Jean back in 1909, in what I assume to be the most lavish way to tell your adult child they're still loved. Jean didn't enjoy the property for long, as she was found dead in a bathtub from a heart attack on Christmas Eve the same year. She was 29-years old.

Shockingly, the real estate listing skips over the info on Jean's death. Mortality doesn't really wow prospective buyers like gunite swimming pools and Marfil countertops apparently.

Rhode Island becomes fourth state to offer free tuition for community college.

Lawmakers in the Ocean State have passed a measure (with many stipulations) allowing free tuition at its community college through a program they label "The Promise Scholarship." There is only one community college in Rhode Island, but we are talking about a state the size of any backyard in Texas after all.

To qualify for the free tuition, students must have graduated from high school the previous spring, live in Rhode Island, be enrolled full time, and maintain a 2.5 GPA. Furthermore, after the two years, the student must continue living and working in the state for some unspecified amount of time. Might you be held prisoner for life in Rhode Island? Potentially, but I hear east Providence is lovely.

These sorts of stipulations fall in line with what the three other states that allow free tuition require. New York, Oregon, and Tennessee each allow various forms of free tuition, usually based on income and other variables. New York, for instance, limits free tuition at state schools to families who earn less than $125,000.

In case you're wondering, the median household income in New York is $60,850, although New York lawmakers say the $125,000 is still roughly the middle class.

In case you're still wondering, the IRS says that $133,000 places people in the top 10% of American income, meaning nearly 90% of New York qualifies for free tuition. If income is divided equally into upper class, middle class, and lower* class--with 1/3 each--somehow 90% just became 2/3 (middle and lower) in the state of New York.

Math is hard. Maybe a free algebra class at a community college might help.



*The euphemism of "working class" needs to end. There is no sense in allowing the term "upper class" without the equal contrast of "lower class," or to assume those in the other income brackets are somehow not "working." Tender sensibilities won't be offended by a simple fact. Lower class is simply a lower level of income, end of story.

Low-income students told by Princeton University to attend $52,000-a-year prep school.

Listen up, poor kids: This is as close as you'll get to Princeton probably.

Always having their fingers on the pulse of how the other half lives, Princeton University counselors have advised students--including those of low-income and financially strapped backgrounds--to attend Lawrenceville Prep, The Peddie School of New Jersey, and other prep schools to learn the "academic rigors" of the Ivy League staple before applying again (with no guarantee of admittance!). The guess is that Princeton assumes these students can also learn the economic rigors of being homeless soon, too.

Lawrenceville charges a $52,000-a-year tuition, all with little financial aid. BUT Lawrenceville boasts a nine hole golf course and a $380 million endowment, so that seems fair.

Princeton spokesperson Daniel Day told The Tab, "We recognize that some students might benefit from a post-graduate year of study after their high school graduation to help them strengthen their academic foundation." And that foundation of knowledge is seemingly built on wondering how you'll feed yourself while broke.

"Ultimately it is up to the student whether or not to complete a post-graduate year at any school," he added.

Ultimately the average and lower income family recognize that some schools, like Princeton, might benefit from learning that not everyone lives in a bubble of Xanadu-like wealth.

Saturday Morning PSA of The Week: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na SAVINGS BONDS!!

Today's public service announcements are all information and no imagination--but yesteryear's? Those were full of drama, plot lines, and cameos from B-grade celebrities, all wedged into one minute of absolute fantasticness.

Consider this a trip back in time to when PSAs were sometimes worth watching more than the Saturday morning cartoons.


Today:  BAM! KAPOW! TREASURY ACTION!!





Random Thoughts and Questions:
1.)  Is Batman farsighted? What's going on here? Why is he holding the card so far away at the beginning?
2.)  Don't his gloves look like something Audrey Hepburn would've worn in Breakfast at Tiffany's?
3.)  That's right kids, get cracking on those savings bonds and pull your weight. No one cares if you're in kindergarten still.
4.)  What is "practical citizenship" exactly? Isn't that, like, taking out the garbage and mowing your lawn?
5.)  Don't forget, kids, you're also helping in Vietnam! I hear that whole get-together turns out well for the U.S. in the end! Thanks, kids!

Public university president? No worries if you're in Texas.

Good news if you're the president of a public college or university and find that a salary under a million dollars, bonuses, and special accommodations aren't enough for your struggling lifestyle of driving only a Maserati. According to Forbes, things are looking up, especially if you're in Texas.

The Chronicle of Higher Education released their latest report on the highest paid public school presidents and chancellors, and two of the top three--and three of the top ten--come from the Texas system, all of whom made over seven figure salaries.

News gets even better for the poor schlub presidents scraping by on $800,000 a year: Salaries rose by 5%, on average, for public school administrators. This is compared to the usual 2-3% annual raise typically seen.

So who are the top ten paid public university presidents and chancellors?

1. Michael Crow, President, Arizona State University $1,554,058

2. William McRaven, Chancellor, University of Texas system $1,500,000

3. John Sharp, Chancellor, Texas A&M University system office, $1,280,438

4. W. Kent Fuchs, President, University of Florida, $1,102,862

5. Michael A. McRobbie, President Indiana University system $1,067,074

6. Eric J. Barron, President, Pennsylvania State University at University Park, $1,039,717

7. Michael V. Drake, President, Ohio State University, $1,034,574

8. Michael K. Young, President, Texas A&M at College Station, $1,000,000

9. Jean E. Robillard, Interim President, University of Iowa, $929,045

10. Raymond Watts, President, University of Alabama at Birmingham, $890,000

Let's not forget that both Texas A&M and the University of Texas' head football coaches made roughly $5 million EACH last year. The basketball coaches? Potentially around $3 million.

I already knew the stereotype that everything was bigger in Texas. I just never knew that meant public higher education salaries as well.



Let's not kid ourselves, though. Tenured faculty is always told there is no room in the budget for salary increases. Likewise, colleges and universities--public and private--are relying more and more on assistant professors that can be paid on the cheap with little to no benefits offered.

But at least the administrators found money in the budget for themselves. Phew--I was worried there for a moment.

Google has been paying academics to write about Google.

And no one seems to mention this in their research papers.

According to a report in The Wall Street Journal, Google has been willing to pay thousands to various members of the academic community to write papers on the business interests of the company. Google seeks out these researchers sometimes, or vice versa, and proposes the paper, then funds the individual--all while the academic seemingly forgets to mention this hazy ethical middle ground in their finished work. Around 100 papers have developed and been published through this funding.

The Journal caught up with one such professor:


"University of Illinois law professor Paul Heald pitched an idea on copyrights he thought would be useful to Google, and he received $18,830 to fund the work. The paper, published in 2012, didn’t mention his sponsor. "Oh, wow. No, I didn’t. That’s really bad," he said in an interview. "That’s purely oversight." The money didn’t influence his work, Mr. Heald said, and Google issued no conditions: “They said, ‘If you take this $20,000 and open up a doughnut shop with it — we’ll never give you any more money — but that’s fine.'"


"Oh, wow. No, I didn't. That's really bad."

Nah, professor, it's not really bad. Bad implies there could be good as an alternative.

This is just unethical.

This is just shady.

Jane Austen was tight with cash.

Maybe you're that type that watches CNBC, Fox Business, or Bloomberg all day and can't get enough talk about investments. Maybe you're just an inquisitive, nosy type about other people's finances. Either way, there's good news for you.

Coming up this week on the 200th anniversary of Jane Austen's death, there are a million different angles being taken to commemorate her. One is the Bank of England of all places, which is putting on a year-long exhibition where you can see Austen's ledger and how she computed interest on her deposits. You can also see how other writers like Charles Dickens and George Eliot invested their money.

I don't know about you, but I'm just fanning myself in excitement to learn about that 4% interest Austen earned on her £15 deposit.

Chairman Mao Zedong is a popular guy on the literary circuit.

I'm always happy to go on a tangent about literature, but my thoughts aren't terribly desired by the masses. By comparison, even though the founding father of modern China has been dead for forty years, he's as popular as ever on the literary front.

While Chairman Mao is best known as a revolutionary and politician (and lover of snappy looking gray suits), he was also a poet in his spare time, as well as a lover of classical Chinese literature and the poetry of others.

Late in life, with his health deteriorating and his eyesight failing, Mao asked for a professor to visit and read various poetry and literature to him. Di Lu began visiting him to do just that--but asked the chairman to write out notes to her regarding his thoughts, as she had trouble understanding the Chairman.

The notes were saved. Fast forward forty years, and those scribbles and reflections on literature were auctioned off. According to the BBC, Sotheby's in London sold the notes this week for $910,000. The estimated selling price going in? $78,000-$105,000.

Now, see, slip me a $5 spot and you could save yourself a fortune.

Report: Nearly half of London's students have not been to a theater or seen Shakespeare.

Despite living in the same city that William Shakespeare wrote many of his plays and saw them enacted, a new report from London's Social Mobility Commission says that almost half of London's students haven't been to a theater to see a play, never mind The Globe Theater reconstructed to showcase the Bard's work.

In the past decade, The Globe Theater--through donations by Deutsche Bank--has had 150,000 London students see a Shakespeare play free of charge, with 20,000 alone visiting in the past year treated to see The Taming of the Shrew.

The study showed that specifically 44% of students had never seen a theatrical performance. Indeed, Georghia Ellinas, head of learning at Globe Education, told the BBC, "We hear from teachers that some London school students who come to the Globe, living only two or three miles away, have never seen the Thames before."

The reason seems to stem from an income gap, where poorer students and their families can't afford the discretionary income required to see the theater, never mind the cost of traveling public transportation for the six mile round trek.

The Social Mobility Commission looked into various activities and income gap issues, and found it wasn't just the theater, per BBC:


"It found that trips to the theatre, galleries, the cinema or the zoo were all more likely for wealthier families - with the likelihood of such visits rising and falling in a way directly linked to family income."


I'm not sure how Shakespeare would have taken this to know seeing a hyena exhibit or checking out the next Fast and Furious entry are as difficult for many to see than one of his plays.

Does this mean Vin Diesel = Shakespeare?

At least in one sense.

In essence, Chicago and its schools hate their librarians.

The city that hates librarians!

The city of Chicago has many troubling issues on its plate these days. Whether it's a soaring murder rate, budget troubles, corruption accusations being flung with abandon, or trying to survive another Midwestern winter, the city is having a rough time. Now, problems have affected the school system as well.

Budget woes and contract negotiations with the teacher's union has led to one major area of the local school to lose an important staff member: the school librarian.

According to Southside Weekly and DNA Info, things look dire for the 2016/2017 school year:


2016:  157 librarian positions budgeted for the school year, serving 652 elementary and high schools.
2015:  217 librarian positions / 652 schools
2014:  252 librarian positions / 652 schools
2013:  313 librarian positions / 652 schools
2012:  454 librarian positions / 652 schools


Even my keen lack of knowledge in mathematics and statistics suggests we have an ongoing trend.

The dwindling number of librarians isn't a simple issue. Multiple problems are at play. One is that the state of Illinois requires all school librarians to be a certified teacher as well. Likewise, as a way to handle growing class sizes with budget shortfalls, librarians are often being moved to the classroom instead. This leaves libraries closed to the students because no one left is certified to teach and be a librarian, per that Illinois law. Thus, elementary and high school students are denied access to a wealth of information at the very place they're supposed to be educated.

Further compounding the issue is that some schools, like the Pritzker Elementary School, have parents volunteering to staff the library so it can be opened. That pesky Illinois law is one hurdle in the way for the parents, but the teachers union is yet another.

The teachers union fears allowing an all-volunteer library staff means fewer potential jobs for their employees, as well as a bargaining chip for the city and state looking to slash budgets even more than they already have.

Another head-shaking angle to this situation is that the teachers union argues that 75% of schools with an African-American student body majority were lacking a school librarian, and therefore no school library access was available--yet only 16% of schools with a minority of African-American students faced such a crisis.

Last month, Pritzker Elelmentary--found in Chicago's tony Wicker Park area--found itself over budget, and made the decision to cut their school librarian, too.

This hasn't gone over well with parents, who have taken to writing op-eds in the Wall Street Journal, of all places, demanding Pritzker's school library be opened and staffed with such volunteer parents. (Of course, the parent penning the op-ed was a lawyer. "Chicago issue? Probably best to publish that in a New York newspaper!"--said no one ever, except a lawyer.)

What's Chicago's plan to rectify the situation? Sadly, absolutely nothing. When people are being gunned down every day in your streets, or mentally challenged people are being beat on Facebook Live, strangely enough, there are priorities at play for the people of Chicago.

And, right now, that priority isn't whether school libraries should be open.

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" is slumming it this year.

Are you that someone with a substantial amount of disposable income? You know, the kind of person who'll drop $6K on a Chanel bag or jet off to Greece with the lover-of-the-week, so you've got to woo the masses with your greenbacks to thwart your lack of personality?

Good news! You're going to save a ton this holiday season if you want to purchase "The Twelve Days of Christmas"!

According to PNC Financial Services, everything included in the lyrics of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" has barely increased since last year. The inflation rate? A meager 0.7% increase. During that same time the Consumer Price Index increased by 1.7%. Time to make it rain some turtle doves!!

Actually, two turtle doves saw the biggest percentage increase in cost, to a one-time cost of $375, an uptick of 29% from last year. Turtle doves are largely only native to Europe (but vaguely exist in 22 states!), which means import costs to America alone are going to hamper the bank account. Working on the cheap? Snatch a couple of North American mourning doves in your backyard and call it a day. No one will know the difference.

In fact, birds as a whole were fairly stagnant in price the past year, as avian flu has passed by and supply and demand are rather flat. That doesn't mean it's necessarily cheap.

The most expensive one-time purchase from the song lyrics? Swans! Seven of those vicious vixens will set you back $13,125.

The cheapest gift? Eight maids a-milking, for a tidy one-time lyric sum of $58.

That's right. Hiring eight women to milk cows will set you back the equivalent of an average Tuesday night's dinner at Applebee's, while a handful of swans will cost you a month's rent for a two bedroom walk-up in midtown Manhattan. Thankfully, Americans are resistant to living wages for their employees. We wouldn't want a woman to be worth more than a swan.

In the end, what's the total amount spent when repeating the lines of the song?

$156,507.88

The repeated lyric of eight maids a-milking costs a total of $290 of that.

At least our priorities are straight.

(Sigh.)

Hermione Granger’s movie home is up for sale.

The real life home used as the stand-in for Hermione Granger's residence when she left Hogwart's for the summer is up for sale for the low-low price of £2,400,000, or $3,100,000, whichever currency you choose to dabble in. It seems Hermione was swimming in fanciful living despite the bedraggled hairstyle.

Hermione Granger's house for sale in Hampstead Garden Suburb for £2.4m https://t.co/AY4H8H954d pic.twitter.com/NxREGzUwLU

— Hampstead Mums (@Hampstead_Mums) September 26, 2016

Lest you think you're not getting much bang for your buck, the listing notes the house has six bedrooms, two bathrooms, and two reception rooms. Why would you need two reception rooms? I wouldn't know, since my experience with haute bourgeoisie society comprises driving through such neighborhoods on a ten-speed, not a Tesla.

Hermione's movie home comes on the tail of Harry Potter's movie home also going up for sale recently. The boy wizard's humble home--which looks like a cut rate residence on a cul-de-sac in suburban Kansas--can be yours for £475,000, or $616,000.

The Kansas-y part of England.

What does this all mean for Ron Weasley? I assume his family lived in a modified 1974 Winnebago with 215,000 miles on it and it's probably for sale soon in suburban England somewhere.



Photo: Associated Press

Aristotle would be eating a lot of ramen if he were alive today. And not the boutique restaurant kind.

Forbes Magazine caters to the wealthy, the kinda wealthy, and the really bored people in a doctor's office who can't bear the idea of reading another Reader's Digest.

Which explains why Forbes would have an article detailing the college majors least and most likely to have millionaires as an alumnus. Turns out Kierkegaard would be panhandling if he was alive today.

Researches at WealthInsight analyzed data on over 100,000 high net worth individuals with assets of $1 million or more--and philosophy majors made up the least of them.

The list:

1.  MBA (12.1%)
2.  Engineering (10.7%)
3.  Economics (8.2%)
4.  Business studies/business administration (5.9%)
5.  Law (4.7%)
6.  Accountancy (2.9%)
7.  Finance (2.1%)
8.  Management (2.0%)
9.  Commerce (1.9%)
10.  Computer science (1.9%)
11.  Politics (1.3%)
12.  Mathematics (1.1%)
13.  Medicine (1.0%)
14.  Physics (0.9%)
15.  Chemistry (0.9%)
16.  History (0.8%)
17.  Marketing (0.7%)
18.  Biology (0.6%)
19.  Psychology (0.6%)
20.  Philosophy (0.6%)

Consider me stunned that those in the world of business, finance, commerce, accountancy, economics--everything that makes a worldwide business flourish and make the affluent richer--somehow dominate the top ten and would produce the most millionaires. Goodness! You might think there was some sort of incestuous relationship between it all!

You might ask where English majors are on this list. The cynic in you might suggest not oven 0.6% of them are millionaires. Your inner Negative Nancy might suggest writers are starving artists because, well, they are starving. The pessimist in your soul would suggest English majors must be a sad lot.

And you'd be right. But we're not sad. Just broke.

The Beatdown in Brunswick: Malcolm Gladwell vs. Bowdoin College

Not Sideshow Bob.

Famous writer--and occasional Sideshow Bob doppelganger--Malcolm Gladwell has infuriated the powerful masses at Bowdoin College by claiming the elite liberal arts school's penchant for high end cuisine for its students comes at the cost of admitting fewer low-income students.

Earlier this year, the Princeton Review named the Brunswick, Maine, school as having the best cuisine of any college or university in America. Yet, at the same time, Bowdoin's acceptance rate heavily skews toward wealthier students. This, Gladwell argues on his podcast Revisionist History, is partly due to the fact that Bowdoin chooses to invest money in fine dining and not aid that could go toward poorer applicants.

As Business Insider points out, Bowdoin did not take kindly to such an assertion, and released a lengthy statement that starts off as such:


"Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast “Revisionist History” (aptly named) takes a manipulative and disingenuous shot at Bowdoin College that is filled with false assumptions, anecdotal evidence, and incorrect conclusions."

Bowdoin's thin-skinned alarmist claim is based off their being one of the very few colleges or universities in the United States that provides need-blind assistance, and includes aid packages that never involve loans, only grants.

Likewise, Bowdoin claims that Gladwell's podcast producer emailed the school to ask about the food, never admissions or aid, so that he "focused only on Bowdoin’s food in a manner that was disingenuous, dishonest, and manipulative."

This is the kind of two-snaps-and-a-twist First World drama you usually see on Bravo or E!, except more nebbish and scholarly--with a complete lack of Christian Louboutin heels.

Gladwell wasn't pleased with the reaction he was receiving from Bowdoin or the school's alumni online--so he fired back on Twitter:

In retrospect this week's episode of https://t.co/2Mqc5Dwr4V should have included a trigger warning for Bowdoin grads.

— Malcolm Gladwell (@Gladwell) July 14, 2016

Trigger warning zingers! Looks like Gladwell decided to dig into the amateur mic night material he saves for The Chuckle Hut.

In the end, the high society verbal slapfest continues between the two sides, with no winner declared in this squabble. No winner, that is, except us.