Fashionable Words: Malinger

[Sometimes words die out of fashion. But sometimes those words are good words, words with a certain appeal that can't be denied forever. Those words should be brought back into fashion, used frequently and used often. These are those words.]


Word:

Malinger



Definition:    verb

Exaggerate or feign illness, especially to avoid work.



Origin:

There's little the English and French agree on except drinking, fancy hats, and an unwavering passion for Gérard Depardieu. You can't find sexy, morbidly obese, sixty-something character actors just anywhere after all. Right, Gérard?

Damn right!

The English also love borrowing the occasional French word to use in their own vocabulary, such as malinger(er) or malingering. If there's anything the world can unite behind it's being a deadbeat.

The English malinger comes from the very similar French malingre, which means to be sickly. In turn, malingre has just evolved from the prefix mal- (bad) and Old French word heingre, which roughly means haggard. "Bad haggard"? That's right--loosely translated Old French can also sound like the worst name for a country music band.

Any thoughts, Gérard?

We all are shocked, Gérard.

Malinger first gained traction in the early 19th century, and then was quickly adopted by both psychologists (as a disorder) and the American military (for soldiers feigning illness), creating potentially the only time those two institutions shall ever be spoken of in the same sentence.

Indeed, malingering can lead to a court martial in the American armed forces. No coincidence then that the word spiked in its everyday common American usage around 1918, right as World War One raged. The word makes a second spike in use post-World War Two thirty years later.

No, Gérard, not everyone has your spitfire when it comes to war.

Today the word is used either in upper crust society parties, said with a jaw jutted out, or at your shrink's office to explain why you always have an excuse for skipping work because of that [[wink]] chronic bad back of yours.



Most obscure UrbanDictionary.com definition of malingerer:

[verbatim]
1.  A person who fakes an illness or injury to get out of work. Who is commonly know for screwing over his or her brothers so they have to work more overtime.

Sounds like a sibling rift somewhere, Gérard!



Used in a sentence:

Gérard was never called a malingerer with his strong work ethic!



Why you should use malingerer in your everyday life:

We all know that one person in our life who's a deadbeat and has an excuse for everything.



Word Awesomeness Scale (1-to5):

Five!

Calling a deadbeat a malingerer is like using an insult wrapped in satin.

Right, Gérard?

Sounds about right.

Even distinguished people have failed before.

You'd never know it of course. In an era where social media allows individuals to craft idealized versions of themselves for public consumption, you'd never realize that failure and disappointment exists for others.

Princeton University psychology assistant professor Johannes Haushofer decided to post a CV of every professional and academic failure he's encountered in his career, including rejections from degree programs, research journals, and funding for projects. Haushofer did this to "balance the record" in the public sphere and hopefully encourage others facing similar disappointments.

New "publication": My CV of Failures! https://t.co/d8ot5vvynY

— Johannes Haushofer (@jhaushofer) April 23, 2016

As Haushofer wrote on his website:


"Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible," he noted.

"I have noticed that this sometimes gives others the impression that most things work out for me.

"As a result, they are more likely to attribute their own failures to themselves, rather than the fact that the world is stochastic, applications are crapshoots, and selection committees and referees have bad days."


So when life has you down because you're somehow reenacting the lyrics to a stereotypical 1970s-era country song, when life is really just miserable, realize even an Ivy League professor has had those days, too.

Harvard psychologist offers a tip to figure out if someone is lying.

In her new book Presence, Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy says the tell-tale way to determine if someone is lying is through their actions.

Actions speak louder than words?

Yeah, something like that. In essence, the best example given is if someone is talking about something happy but their face looks stressed.

"Truth reveals itself more clearly through actions than it does through our words," says Cuddy.

Okay, so exactly like the old saying then.

Well, that just saved us all from reading the book.








Another old saying: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." I don't know what that really means, but if you work for Harvard you might be able to write a 300 page book about it.

This Week in Science!!!

Here's the occasional wrap-up of anything noteworthy in the world of science.

Starting off with:  .


story one:  Power! Merciless power!!!

You've been dominated!

There's a reason that marketers anthropomorphize inanimate objects, and it's not just because you're easily entertained by bright-eyed cartoon characters.

A study out of Johns Hopkins University's Carey Business School suggests that people who are materialists--those who believe they find happiness in the ownership of "stuff"--view anthropomorphic products as servants instead of partners. It's like the worst marriage ever on a very special episode of Dr. Phil.

It's not just cartoon advertisements, as it can also just be an allusion to a brand, like retail giant Lowe's, who's tagline is "Let's Build Something Together." Materialists view that as more along the lines of, "Bow down and build me a castle, Lowe's!"

Associate Professor Hyeongmin Kim, who led the study, detailed the truck load of crazy at hand here. "[D]ifferent consumers respond differently to the signals," said Kim in an interview. "When materialists encounter an anthropomorphized servant brand, they sense an opportunity to fulfill their need to dominate something. They would rather dominate other people, but socially that's not an easy thing to accomplish. So, for this type of consumer, the next best thing is to dominate a servant brand."

You hear that, Michelin Man? Your roly-poly charm and huggable ways won't work on everyone!

No wonder he's smiling.

story two:  More bad news for materialists!!!

It's a bad week for wealthy people who want to make it rain in a department store. The results of six studies covering 4,600 people showed that while roughly half the participants valued time and half valued money, those who valued time tend to share one characteristic much more in abundance than those who favor a fattened bank account.

They're just plain happier.

According to research from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (my bible), it didn't matter what the gender or income level was (outside of poverty, that is--because simply surviving might skew how you truly feel), the individual who valued the simple ability to have personal time was just a happier individual. And they probably enjoy chamomile tea and cowl-neck sweaters, too, I assume.

There's no explanation which side of the debate you fall on if you want to spend your personal time buying a clock in the shape of a dollar bill though. (Think about it.)













story three:  Astronauts kind of suck at gardening!!!

He just drowned his potatoes! Woo!!

The International Space Station (ISS) is currently whizzing around the Earth with three astronauts and hoards of plants on board. It's all part of the loosely-titled "Veggie Project" to observe a miniature garden growing in space, which is like any garden on Earth, just weightless.

One small problem has arisen though--and you'll be shocked, stunned, and blown away by the developing news--but astronauts and engineers don't have green thumbs. Please, try to stifle your gasps. I know--I know. My worldview has been altered, too.

Scott Kelly, an astronaut currently on the ISS, recently reported that a collection of zinnias growing on board looked like they were dead or dying, potentially from mold. After some investigating (because it's NASA, so everything obvious involves intense investigating), it turns out that NASA was ordering the zinnias to be watered too much. In essence, they were drowning the zinnias. Drowning in space. Think about that. So NASA decided to cut back. Shockingly, the surviving zinnias have responded favorably.

And we're supposed to believe Matt Damon knew how to properly water potatoes on Mars.




story four:  Mysterious space balls land in Vietnam!!!

Possibly General Vo's reaction at meeting our alien overlords.

You know when something lands from outer space, it's safe, right? The government never lies!

"Before and after these objects were discovered, the Vietnamese Army was not conducting any military activity in the region," Lieutenant General Vo Van Tuan, the Vietnamese Army spokesman, told AFP news source.

Well, thanks for the update on your day-to-day operations. Sounds like a Vietnamese version of Roswell, doesn't it? Stop the straw man explanation, General Vo! Why the cover-up?! 

Three metallic balls plummeted down upon Vietnam, with the heaviest weighing 100 pounds. The Ministry of Defense says that they have no idea what the balls are or what sort of origin they hold, but that they aren't dangerous--or so we're told.

That's right. When mysterious, unidentifiable space orbs land from sky, I think we all know it's safe. Hell, bring the kids! Sounds like a field trip. C'mon, boys and girls!

A pregnant woman in labor continues taking her online college exam even while contractions were three minutes apart.

I once took a 5-minute pop quiz with a paper cut holding me back. Hurt like no one's business for a solid minute, I tell you, but I soldiered on in the name of education like a champ.

Which is really to say I'm pathetic. Tommitrise Collins was told she could only take a psychology exam on one given day. Timing being what it is, her soon-to-be newborn had other plans, so Collins marched forth, taking the exam from her hospital bed. Her sister, Shanell Brinkley-Chapman, posted this photo to Facebook showing Collins doing double-duty:

The Middle Georgia State University (which goes by the acronym MGA, throwing everyone off) student was told this would be the only chance to take the test. So a big shout-out to MGA for setting back equal rights for women by a hundred years! Good to see that those good ol' 19th century values still exist somewhere in America. Wouldn't want to advance them too quickly now!