A porn movie was shot in a library. Surprisingly, it wasn't in the "how-to" section.

A porn movie was shot inside a Santa Monica, CA, library recently, largely made up of a woman exposing herself in the aisles.

According to local television station KCBS, the 10-minute clip shows the woman flashing herself outside on the street, then repeatedly in the library, before a quick visit outside a grade school. Needless to say, there's outrage to be had.

"God forbid, a child walked in the library and walked right in on the middle of it. That’s my biggest concern," said Janet McLaughlin, a neighbor, to the television station. "Children don’t need to be exposed to this. If you want to do porn, stick to the hotels."

"The hotels." But I digress.

City officials are aware the video exists, but say it's only a misdemeanor, and that's if they can even figure out who took the video or exposed themselves in the library.

"We have to have laws to stop them from doing things that puts children in harm's way," said McLaughlin.

KCBS reports that McLaughlin was sent the video from another parent that generates revenue by pay-per-click.

It makes one wonder what the other pearl-clutching parent was doing in their spare time to stumble upon the video.

Elementary school shows "The Lion King" during a fundraiser. Now it owes Disney $250.

"One of the dads bought the movie at Best Buy," PTA president David Rose told CNN. "He owned it. We literally had no idea we were breaking any rules."

So it goes for the folks at Emerson Elementary School in Berkeley, CA, which was hosting a fundraiser for "parents' night out." They showed the 2019 remake of The Lion King during the festivities--and, in the process, raised about $750 for the school.

That is until Movie Licensing USA caught wind of the event. The company represents Disney and other major Hollywood studios for licensing issues. They emailed Emerson explaining that since the school didn't have a license to publicly show the movie, they owe Disney $250. The PTA says they won't fight it and will give Disney the money.

Disney's net income for 2019 was $10.44 billion on record revenue of $69.57 billion.

They want $250 from a school.

That's all you really need to know.

Walmart says that back-to-school sale on rifles was a prank.

"We have definite proof it was a prank," Walmart spokesman Charles Crowson told The Associated Press regarding the following sign caught by a Twitter user:

uhhhh @Walmart we need to talk pic.twitter.com/Fwb4UdXf1D

— sara (@thisbemesara) August 9, 2017

Yet, according to the Chicago Tribune, "[Crowson] wouldn't say where the image had been made — only that the mystery had been solved." The Tribune also notes that Crowson wouldn't divulge what evidence Walmart had that the signage was a prank. In essence, we're to take his word for it, because no major company would ever lie to cover a public relations mishap. Nevvvver.

Listen, where's a grade schooler going to get their affordably priced weaponry for the first day of school if Walmart doesn't step forward? Ever since Target stopped selling nunchucks and billy clubs for the kids, it's been nearly impossible.

Heading back to school? Walmart doesn't want you to forget the important stuff...

Forget the fidget spinners. You can't deny the low-low back to school prices on rifles.

uhhhh @Walmart we need to talk pic.twitter.com/Fwb4UdXf1D

— sara (@thisbemesara) August 9, 2017

Walmart's headquarters says they're looking into which store had the promotion on firearms.

They shouldn't worry, though. This reminds me when Kmart did a Black Friday special on shivs and prison shanks.

Perfect attendance award? Not for this kid if his mom has anything to say about it.

Remember being in grade school as a child, and there was always that one kid who went to class regardless if they had a fever, cough, or were in the throws of an epic flu that would have killed a water buffalo? As if this kid was a superhero? No one liked that kid, least of all me, because I inevitably became sick from that kid.

But the following story isn't quite the same.

Rachel Wright is a U.K. author and mother of a young child who has been lucky enough to actually have good health. As a result, her 10-year old son, JJ, has never missed a day of school, for which the school wants to award him. Rachel Wright, though, refuses to allow her son to be bestowed for such an honor.

In a blog post, Wright explains her rationale and why she's denying the award ceremony:


"In this family you are not shamed for ill health, vulnerability or weakness. In this house you are not encouraged to spread germs when you are not well. In this house we look after ourselves and the weakest amongst us.

Can you imagine a work place that at the end of each week marked out all the people who hadn’t been sick? Where all the departments with the least number of people off were rewarded – in front of everyone else? It happens in schools all the time.

Can you imagine what kind of atmosphere that would create with people who had days off because of bereavement, mental health problem or chronic conditions?

What on earth are we teaching our kids about value and worth? What are we teaching them about looking out for each other and looking after the sick or disabled in our community?"


The whole matter of being lucky enough to have good health is further compounded because JJ's brother, and Wright's other son, 11-year old Sam, was born with cerebral palsy.

Wright told ABC News the meaning behind the blog post. "I was trying to spark a conversation about what 100 percent attendance teaches our children about health, values and those who suffer long term conditions."

Now, if only this resonated with parents who had a kid with a cold and kept them at home, those who only value praise and adoration over health and wellness, we all might be healthier and happier. Water buffaloes included.

Report: Nearly half of London's students have not been to a theater or seen Shakespeare.

Despite living in the same city that William Shakespeare wrote many of his plays and saw them enacted, a new report from London's Social Mobility Commission says that almost half of London's students haven't been to a theater to see a play, never mind The Globe Theater reconstructed to showcase the Bard's work.

In the past decade, The Globe Theater--through donations by Deutsche Bank--has had 150,000 London students see a Shakespeare play free of charge, with 20,000 alone visiting in the past year treated to see The Taming of the Shrew.

The study showed that specifically 44% of students had never seen a theatrical performance. Indeed, Georghia Ellinas, head of learning at Globe Education, told the BBC, "We hear from teachers that some London school students who come to the Globe, living only two or three miles away, have never seen the Thames before."

The reason seems to stem from an income gap, where poorer students and their families can't afford the discretionary income required to see the theater, never mind the cost of traveling public transportation for the six mile round trek.

The Social Mobility Commission looked into various activities and income gap issues, and found it wasn't just the theater, per BBC:


"It found that trips to the theatre, galleries, the cinema or the zoo were all more likely for wealthier families - with the likelihood of such visits rising and falling in a way directly linked to family income."


I'm not sure how Shakespeare would have taken this to know seeing a hyena exhibit or checking out the next Fast and Furious entry are as difficult for many to see than one of his plays.

Does this mean Vin Diesel = Shakespeare?

At least in one sense.

Fourth grade teacher messes with his students' heads with a fake spelling bee.

Fourth-grade teacher Joe Dombrowski, from Michigan, decided to hold April Fools Day a couple days early (as it landed on a Saturday) and give his students a spelling quiz made up of fake words.

The test was made up of fraudulent words with silent letters, like "speekuzslmn" and "tangateen," along with mystery hyphens and umlauts which bewildered the students who suddenly thought they were having the worst day possible for a 10-year old.





Dombrowski posted a video of him going over the words' spellings on Facebook, as he had the students self-grade their quiz. In the video, you hear students exasperated, saying, "Whaaaat??" and slowly melting down. Tough life.

Dombrowski ends the video by saying, "April Fools. Congratulations, turn in your tests. This will be on your report card."

And there you have it. The worst day in the life of a fourth grader.

In grade school, Matthew Perry apparently beat up Canada's current prime minister.

Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live recently, self-proclaimed half-Canadian Matthew Perry (Chandler from Friends) said that while in grade school he and a friend once beat up Canadian Prime Minister--and possible hair care model--Justin Trudeau.

"We both beat him up," said Perry. "I think he was excelling in a sport that we weren't, so it was pure jealousy."





"I think he was the only kid in school that we could beat up," Perry said about Justin--whose own father, Pierre Trudeau, was Prime Minister of Canada at the time. Clearly this is Canada, where you can shake down and sucker punch the nation's leader's kid and not go to jail.

After mulling it over, the current Prime Minister took to Twitter to offer up an idea.

I've been giving it some thought, and you know what, who hasn't wanted to punch Chandler? How about a rematch @MatthewPerry?

— Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) April 1, 2017

Based on the eye test of how each man looks now, if Vegas offers odds, lay your money on the Prime Minister to take round two.

In a New Dehli slum, a teacher holds classes under a bridge.

Rajesh Sharma is not a teacher by trade or licensing. He is a small grocery store owner in New Dehli who saw the poverty in the slums in town and decided to try and change it in any way he could.




He now has volunteer teachers lend a hand. As Umar Imam, one of the local volunteers, once told The Weekend Leader, "It gives immense me satisfaction to teach these kids. Initially, I devoted 2 hours in 3 days, but now I stretched it to 4 hours daily."

And as for Rajesh Sharma?

After his day is done teaching the children, he often can be found at his grocery store until 10pm, before doing it all over again tomorrow.

In essence, Chicago and its schools hate their librarians.

The city that hates librarians!

The city of Chicago has many troubling issues on its plate these days. Whether it's a soaring murder rate, budget troubles, corruption accusations being flung with abandon, or trying to survive another Midwestern winter, the city is having a rough time. Now, problems have affected the school system as well.

Budget woes and contract negotiations with the teacher's union has led to one major area of the local school to lose an important staff member: the school librarian.

According to Southside Weekly and DNA Info, things look dire for the 2016/2017 school year:


2016:  157 librarian positions budgeted for the school year, serving 652 elementary and high schools.
2015:  217 librarian positions / 652 schools
2014:  252 librarian positions / 652 schools
2013:  313 librarian positions / 652 schools
2012:  454 librarian positions / 652 schools


Even my keen lack of knowledge in mathematics and statistics suggests we have an ongoing trend.

The dwindling number of librarians isn't a simple issue. Multiple problems are at play. One is that the state of Illinois requires all school librarians to be a certified teacher as well. Likewise, as a way to handle growing class sizes with budget shortfalls, librarians are often being moved to the classroom instead. This leaves libraries closed to the students because no one left is certified to teach and be a librarian, per that Illinois law. Thus, elementary and high school students are denied access to a wealth of information at the very place they're supposed to be educated.

Further compounding the issue is that some schools, like the Pritzker Elementary School, have parents volunteering to staff the library so it can be opened. That pesky Illinois law is one hurdle in the way for the parents, but the teachers union is yet another.

The teachers union fears allowing an all-volunteer library staff means fewer potential jobs for their employees, as well as a bargaining chip for the city and state looking to slash budgets even more than they already have.

Another head-shaking angle to this situation is that the teachers union argues that 75% of schools with an African-American student body majority were lacking a school librarian, and therefore no school library access was available--yet only 16% of schools with a minority of African-American students faced such a crisis.

Last month, Pritzker Elelmentary--found in Chicago's tony Wicker Park area--found itself over budget, and made the decision to cut their school librarian, too.

This hasn't gone over well with parents, who have taken to writing op-eds in the Wall Street Journal, of all places, demanding Pritzker's school library be opened and staffed with such volunteer parents. (Of course, the parent penning the op-ed was a lawyer. "Chicago issue? Probably best to publish that in a New York newspaper!"--said no one ever, except a lawyer.)

What's Chicago's plan to rectify the situation? Sadly, absolutely nothing. When people are being gunned down every day in your streets, or mentally challenged people are being beat on Facebook Live, strangely enough, there are priorities at play for the people of Chicago.

And, right now, that priority isn't whether school libraries should be open.

Lateness tends to be a habit in some people.

This is teaching life lessons.

Two years ago, the New York Post documented what was potentially the worst grade school in America.

PS 106 in Far Rockaway, Queens, NYC, smelled of urine, had rats crawling in the walls, lacked textbooks, didn't teach art or gym classes, and lacked formal reading and math programs. As if that wasn't bad enough, students were left to watch movies like Alvin and The Chipmunks and Monsters, Inc. for hours at a time. This suddenly turned more tortuous than a North Korean prison.

This school of such impeccable educational standards was overseen by Marcella Sills, the principal. The school slipped through the cracks because it's evident that no one in a city of seven million cares to oversee deplorable conditions for children--and what 10-year old kid is going to blow the whistle on all-day animated movie marathons?

Now, according to The Post, "Last year, an arbitrator ruled Sills had 'committed theft of time' between September 2012 and January 2014 by failing to document 178 instances of her tardiness and hours absent from school." As a result, she lost her job. Ever the optimistic sort of rascal, Sills filed a reinstatement petition.

The problem with the principal that always showed up late to work is that she--wait for it, wait for it--filed her petition late, too.

As a result, Manhattan Judge Manuel Mendez tossed the reinstatement petition by Sills.

Somewhere in Far Rockaway, Queens, a group of grade schoolers released a collected defeated sigh that they'll never get marathon sessions of Alvin and The Chipmunks ever again.

Forget the graduation video. Israeli sixth graders accidentally receive porn DVD instead.

In honor of National Hug Day, sixth graders at an elementary school in Haifa were to receive a commemorative DVD of their graduation ceremony. It was supposed to be the type of video that makes soccer moms and grandparents alike fan themselves from excitement.

Except an excitement of a different sort popped up on the video--excitement in the form of hardcore porn. Apparently there was a whole different form of hugging going on.

According to The Jerusalem Post, the school claims the DVD maker created the graduation ceremony video on used pornographic discs which left in scenes from various--uhh--lusty movies.

Parents have been aghast. "This is a scandal," said one.

Damn right. Who gets their dirty movies on DVD anymore?

Political plagiarism as a teachable moment.

By now we all know Melania Trump channeled her inner 14-year old high school freshman and played a little verbal Freddy Fast Fingers with her speech at the Republican National Convention the other night.

In it, Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama's Democratic National Convention speech eight years earlier. Words and phrases like hard work, American dream, values--yada, yada, yada--the sort of political speech making where nothing but white noise is said, but it's an easy sell. Americans love a good fairy tale, regardless of political affiliation.

Which leads us to the teachable moment that has American teachers giddy with excitement. They can teach popularized plagiarism! The BBC reached out to various teachers, including Brad Francis, an English teacher at Davis Middle School in Evanston, Wyoming.

"Melania's speech is probably the most blatant example that I have ever seen," Francis told the BBC. "Eighth grade students need very literal examples, and her speech is basically verbatim to Michelle Obama's. It will help them learn absolutely what not to do in their writing."

Admittedly, Francis might need to learn a little bit of nuance. The speech is absolutely a case of plagiarism, but the entire thing isn't "basically verbatim." Francis would get a C+ grade for such hyperbole and exaggeration in his argument.

"I have students who try to copy and paste material from the internet all the time to pass it off as their own," Francis continued telling the BBC. "That speech was Michelle Obama's intellectual property."

The real disappointing angle that's falling through the cracks with all of this is that two different political parties actually wanted to claim that feeble and uninspired speech as either intellectual or property.

Parents throw DOWN at Brooklyn kindergarten graduation ceremony.

There are times in any small child's life where certain things need to be learned. Like counting, ABCs, and momma's secret ability at dropping 'bows.

When the tiny tots at Brooklyn's P.S./I.S. 178 in Crown Heights prepped to walk the stage for their graduation, things became tense between mothers who jockeyed for position to take photos. Pushing beget shoving...beget yelling...beget left hooks landing...beget cops being called...beget little Bobby and Suzy learning all about the nuances of the justice system.

According to The New York Post, although a school aide who only was known by Mrs. Nelson was clocked while trying to break up the fracas, no charges were pressed after police threw the unruly parents out.

Six year old at National Spelling Bee is better than you or I am.

Akash Vukoti of San Angelo, Texas, is the youngest participant in the history of the National Spelling Bee. At six years old, he's forgotten more words than most people will ever know.

But the pint-sized speller isn't attending the ongoing National Spelling Bee just to look cute.

"I knew all the words they gave, not just to me but to every speller," Akash humblebragged to ABC News after his first round on the spelling stage. "My goal actually is to get to the finals."

Oh, well excuse me, your spelling highness. I'm sorry I was busy at six years old throwing back fruit pies and juice boxes like it was some illicit narcotics trade.

"It takes lots of studying time to win up your bee," Akash continued telling ABC News. "I prepare with a dictionary."

Well, I prepared with empty calories. To each their own, my little friend, to each their own.

Tired of math homework? A new app can read your handwriting and solve equations for you.

According to the company's website, "Mathpix is the world's first technology that can read pictures of your handwritten math. Simply take a photo, crop your equation of interest, and you instantly get solutions and plots." And, as the app's lead developer told the website Motherboard, the app's "algorithms get smarter over time as we get data from users."

This is crippling news to math nerds everywhere who for years have run illicit black market homework "help" in the shady corners of high schools and your lesser known Panera Bread locations. How will the geek shakedown continue if math illiterates can turn to an app now?

Sure, jocks and drama club enthusiasts alike will still fail their math finals when all technology has to be put away. But let's focus on the positive here! The math nerd monopoly has been broken!

Ducks need to plan better.

A mother duck decided to lay eggs in the courtyard of a Charles City, Minnesota, elementary school recently. Why? Who knows? Because she lacked planning, nannies, and sensible life goals, I guess.

Eventually the eggs hatched, which meant it was time to head toward a nearby water source--and a parade of duck panic never seen in Make Way for Ducklings ensued. The Associated Press documented the duck dart and dash, proving that it's impossible for a mother duck to look laid back.




It is Minnesota after all. Winter just ended yesterday, and they have--max--two weeks before it's -20 again, so that might explain the duck panic.

"Schoolie McSchoolface" should be the name of a Texas elementary school.

The Austin, TX, school district recently decided to rename the Robert E. Lee Elementary School. This being Texas, people built themselves into a lather over such a decision, despite the small fact that the Confederacy lost the war and all. Nothing says 'Merica! like naming a school after someone who failed. Bonus points for racial undertones, too.

An open call for a new school name was held and the public responded with alternatives. The list includes--but is not limited to--the following fine, classy, and verbatim selections:

Austin Taliban Elementary School
Ayn Rand Elementary
Bleeding Heart Liberal Elementary
Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance (eight nominations)
Bruce Lee Elementary (three nominations)
Communist Elementary
Drew Brees Elementary (three nominations)
Dwayne Johnson Elementary School
Flava Flav Elementary
Forgetting Your Past Dooms You to Repeat It Elementary
Generic School Name
Hypothetical Perfect Person Memorial Elementary School
IGNORANCE IS BLISS ELEMENTARY
James Earl Ray Elementary School
Jefferson Davis Elementary (three nominations)
John Cena Elementary School
Kanye West Elementary (two nominations)
Kim Il-Sung High School (two nominations)
Leadership & Excellence in Education (LEE)
Lee Elementary (thirteen nominations)
Lil Jon Elementary
Malcolm X (two nominations)
Nathan Bedford Forrest Elementary School (two nominations)
Neil deGrasse Tyson
O.J. Simpson Elementary
Pat Tillman Elementary School (four nominations)
Politically Correct Elementary School #1
Raul Castro Elementary
Revisionist Elementary School
Richard Pryor Elementary (six nominations)
Rudolf Hess Primary
School of Progressive and Socialist Studies
Schoolie McSchoolface
Schooly McSchoolerson (two nominations)
Schooly McSchoolerton
Spike Lee Elementary (four nominations)
Texas Declaration of Independence
The Elementary School Formerly Known as Robert E. Lee (two nominations)
The Illuminati
The Rubber Duckies
Traitor
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin Elementary School
Werner von Braun Institute of Science and Technology
Willie Nelson Elementary (two nominations)

There were other random nominees as well, including a shoutout to Appamattox Court House--located in Virginia, mind you--where the Civil War ended, except the individual who nominated the historic building spelled it "Appamaattox." Admittedly, it's easy to get carried away with double letters.

The big winner was Donald J. Trump Elementary with 45 nominations. Harper Lee, related in name only to General Lee and native of Alabama and New York, neither of which was Texas last anyone checked a map, came in fourth place with 30 nominations.

No final decision has been made, but I think the country and Texans alike can come together over Schoolie McSchoolface. It conjures images of a cartoon character and a McDonald's Happy Meal. And isn't that what American education is really all about?

13 year old Michigan boy earns a perfect ACT score.

There are no statistics on the matter, but one official suggests the odds of an eighth grader earning a perfect ACT score would be one-millionth of one percent.

Yeah, it's impressive--but can he fly?

Don't answer that.

Thirteen Detroit principals charged with bribery in alleged kickback scheme.

A vendor named Arthur Shy allegedly paid bribes to over a dozen principals in the Detroit school system in order to charge the district for school supplies they never received.

According to the charges, Shy paid the principals $900,000. In return, Shy allegedly charged the district over $5 million for supplies, of which over $2.7 million was fraudulent.

Now, you might be thinking, "Isn't Detroit desperately broke? Aren't many of Detroit's schools crumbling and badly in need of repair? Are people really this corrupt to shaft children?"

Yes.

Yes.

And yes.