Showing posts with label hey now. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hey now. Show all posts

Friday, March 6, 2020

Famous Writers Shrtiless: Hart Crane


Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.


Today:  Hart Crane


This looks like a cross between a Tiger Beat photo shoot and an ad for Clorox.

I don't think the rooftop is the place to be wearing loafers or slippers. And the hands-in-the-pockets-while-standing-at-a-building's-edge look? He's an insurance nightmare.

Granted, this feature is Famous Writers Shirtless, and Crane is wearing an undershirt. But the photo was from the Great Depression era. He's thrilled to have any shirt at all.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

A porn movie was shot in a library. Surprisingly, it wasn't in the "how-to" section.




A porn movie was shot inside a Santa Monica, CA, library recently, largely made up of a woman exposing herself in the aisles.

According to local television station KCBS, the 10-minute clip shows the woman flashing herself outside on the street, then repeatedly in the library, before a quick visit outside a grade school. Needless to say, there's outrage to be had.

"God forbid, a child walked in the library and walked right in on the middle of it. That’s my biggest concern," said Janet McLaughlin, a neighbor, to the television station. "Children don’t need to be exposed to this. If you want to do porn, stick to the hotels."

"The hotels." But I digress.

City officials are aware the video exists, but say it's only a misdemeanor, and that's if they can even figure out who took the video or exposed themselves in the library.

"We have to have laws to stop them from doing things that puts children in harm's way," said McLaughlin.

KCBS reports that McLaughlin was sent the video from another parent that generates revenue by pay-per-click.

It makes one wonder what the other pearl-clutching parent was doing in their spare time to stumble upon the video.


Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Beer drinker cracks open a cold one, watches porn at local library.




A Sandusky, OH, man decided to spend a Tuesday night relaxing with a few cold beers while watching porn on a computer.

There was a small problem, though. He was at the local library.

According to the Sandusky Register newspaper, at 7:15pm on February 4th, a resident alerted a police officer that they witnessed a man swigging back some beer and watching XXX material. Sure enough, after the office checked on the boozy book-lover, he found opened and unopened cans of Budweiser around the computer--with some extra cans stashed under the desk. Because you never want to run out once the party's started.

In the end, the man was charged with a minor misdemeanor count of having an open container in a public place and banned from the library for 60-days.

That's right. You, too, can go on a quick porn binge at the library and they'll invite you back in a couple months' time.


Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Famous Writers Shirtless: J.D. Salinger


Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.


Today:  J.D. Salinger




It's rare to see someone so pale that they blend in with white sand and a white towel so seamlessly. Is Salinger a ninja? What sort of SPF was he rocking? Only the best recluses completely lack any melanin.

Everyone knows the greatest beaches are nuzzled right up against factories that look straight out of Ukraine. The smokestack says "Kiev" while the sunshine says "Kauai."




Monday, January 27, 2020

When Writers Go Weird: That time Yukio Mishima tried to stage a coup and then committed seppuku





Are writers ever normal? No, otherwise they'd be productive members of society. When Writers Go Weird is when we remember writers acting strange, odd, off, or--yeah--just plain weird. Also known as Tuesday to them.


Today:  That time Yukio Mishima tried to spark a political coup, only to end up committing seppuku.


It's hard to imagine writers as ever being passionate enough to attempt a coup. Most writers can't even be passionate enough about their choices in coffee, alcohol, or spouses. Sure, writers dream of creating revolutions in thought, in imagination, but through passive means. At least that's the dream.

Then there's Yukio Mishima. And Mishima wasn't passive. But he had a dream in the autumn of 1970.

Who He Was:
Somewhat forgotten in western circles, Mishima is arguably Japan's most famous author of the 20th century. He wrote endlessly, with nearly three dozen novels, fifty plays, two dozen collections of short stories, and almost three dozen books devoted to essays. He even wrote a libretto and a film. He was like if Charles Dickens had a illegitimate lovechild with the Energizer Bunny.

His work didn't go unnoticed, as he was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature three times, and appeared on the final short list for the award in 1963 when he was only 38-years old.

Lest you think Mishima was always busy writing, he also acted in a handful of films, sang the theme song to one, and was a part-time model. He was also famously devoted to working out. As this photo can attest, Mishima never missed ab day:


He probably wrote three novels before breakfast.


Clearly obsessed with work, Mishima was also obsessed with his politics--and his politics was styled in a conservative nationalism born from an upbringing from unconventional grandmother, authoritarian father, and the ruins of Japan's role in World War II. His obsession to tradition--Japanese tradition--led to his downfall.


The Family Tradition:
Born in 1925, Mishima's father worked in the government, while his mother came from a historic and affluent family--and historic it was. Mishima's grandmother was the granddaughter of the daimyƍ (an old Japanese feudal lord system) of Shishido. She also was a direct descendant of Tokugawa Ieyasu, a shogun who started a shogunate that essentially ran Japan from 1600-1868. In essence, Yukio Mishima came from a long line of relatives highly aligned with the leadership of Japan.


Tokugawa Ieyasu starts the family tradition.


It's this same grandmother that decided to take Mishima away from his parents for years and raise her grandson herself. An eccentric by some accounts, she rarely allowed Mishima to play in sunlight or with other boys. He was allowed to enjoy time with female cousins and their dolls instead. Later, when he was given back to his parents, Mishima's strict father wanted his son toughened-up. He did this reportedly by holding young Mishima up closely against passing trains. All in all, Mishima became the type of person who did not want to disappoint his father's rules or his grandmother's prestige. He was obsessed with tradition.

The Private Life:
As he grew up, Mishima's private life was always closely held. He married a woman, had two children, yet was also reportedly gay. His widow and children for decades have denied it, despite one fellow writer, Jiro Fukushima, releasing love letters he and Mishima wrote to each other. (Fukushima was sued by Mishima's children in 1998 for an invasion of privacy and copyright. The children won.) For decades, Mishima's family denied the likelihood of his sexuality for reasons we can only make broad assumptions about--but it's fair to say tradition again plays into the narrative.


Mishima on his wedding day.


...Aaaaaaaaaand The Coup:
Mishima enlisted in Japan's Ground Self-Defense Force in 1967 and then later started a private militia called Tatenokai (or "shield society"), recruited mainly of young college students that held far-right beliefs. Mishima claimed this militia was to protect the Emperor of Japan. For Mishima, the Emperor wasn't man, but instead the Japanese essence and traditions of the nation--or so it seemed. "Emperor" as a term often waffled between "man" and "essence."

Regardless, in his final years, he became more and more aligned with a conservative nationalist viewpoint--so conservative that he believed Emperor Hirohito should have abdicated the throne after Japan lost World War II. He also espoused the belief in "bushido," a traditional form on nationalism and pride based off the age of samurai, of Japan's glory days.

By 1969--and still training his private militia--Mishima apparently began planning a coup d'etat with four hand-selected members of his group to restore more power to the Emperor, be it man or essence. No one knew of this plan except these few people. All while this was ongoing, Mishima continued publishing novels.


Mishima with some of his recruits.


On November 25th, 1970, Mishima and his four militiamen visited a Japanese self-defense force base under false pretenses, and barricaded themselves in a general's office. Soldiers on the base rushed the office to protect the general, but Mishima's militia had swords drawn and stabbed eight soldiers before locking themselves completely away. They held the general hostage by tying him to a chair.


Soldiers outside the barricaded office.

At noon, Mishima proceeded to a balcony with a prepared speech, with unfurled banners at his feet, while some of Japan's Self-Defense Force from the base slowly gathered below.


And things just became weird.

He planned a rousing 30-minute speech that explained how necessary it was to return Japan to its former glory and why the soldiers needed to rise up.
____________________

"...The [Japanese Self-Defense Forces]...has only been given the status of a...large police force...And we believe that our...duty as citizens is...to work towards the day when...the [Japanese Self-Defense Force] can be made into a true national military."

"...The foundational principle of a Japanese military can only be 'protecting Japanese history, culture and tradition centered on the emperor'..."


____________________

Mishima is really feeling it now.

But the soldiers below refused to listen. They weren't riled-up as Mishima intended. They weren't overwhelmed by a sense of national pride or duty to an Emperor--be it man or essence. They simply jeered or spoke over the famous writer has he continued to talk. Soldiers attempted to leap up and pull the banners down. At points he tried admonishing them, "Listen, quiet, listen to me!", all while calling the country "spineless," but to no avail.

Mishima gave up and went back inside. The attempted coup wouldn't even last an afternoon. It wouldn't even last a single speech. His coup failed.

Shortly thereafter, he prepared himself to die. Traditional as he was, Mishima decided to kill himself in the ritualistic form of seppuku, which dishonored samurai performed, where one slices open their stomach and disembowels themselves. He used a dagger and slid it across his stomach. His last words were reportedly, "I don’t think they heard me very well."

Tradition states that during seppuku, someone else must assist with the ritual and decapitate the individual disemboweling themselves. The kaishakunin (or appointed second) has a duty to use a sword at the moment of agony. For this fateful day, the role went to one of Mishima's militiamen, Masakatsu Morita, who tried and failed three times to sever the head of his leader. A fellow militia member, Hiroyasu Koga, then took over and finished Mishima's seppuku ritual decapitation.

Morita, who had failed at his duty--and, thus, now a dishonored samurai--performed seppuku on himself as well by cutting his stomach open. Koga then completed the ritual once again and decapitated Morita.


Hiroyasu Koga led away after following through with tradition.

The captive general was released and Koga and the remaining militiamen surrendered. And the coup and ritualistic suicides ended as quickly as they started. Blended in all of this was a strict adherence to tradition that Mishima believed, a tradition he was taught, a tradition he was born into. Decades of work and establishing himself as one of the greatest writers of his country was dismissed within the fleeting moments of one late November day. Today, the events are passively known in Japan as "The Mishima Incident."

In 2017, a Tokyo television station unearthed an old interview involving Mishima. It occurred nine months before the attempted coup, on February 19, 1970. In it, the author speaks with British translator John Bester on the Tokyo Broadcasting System. According to Nippon, Mishima thought of his end already:
____________________

"I feel death has come into my body," Mishima said on the tape. “I’m obsessed with the idea that in Japan today, the only thing to do is to correct the language,” he also commented.

Criticizing his own writing, he said, “The flaw in my works is that the structures are too dramatic. I smear on my sentences like oil paintings. I hate Japanese-style pictures, which leave empty space.” He also said the Constitution was hypocritical.


____________________

His self-reflection believed his work had become too dramatic, then, too, one notices his adherence to tradition as also too dramatic. Yet, here we are.

For seppuku, tradition dictates having a death poem prepared should the individual follow through with their end. Mishima, ever-observant of tradition, left these final words behind:
____________________

A small night storm blows
Saying ‘falling is the essence of a flower’
Preceding those who hesitate
____________________

Years later, the suicide and coup quietly faded in importance or notoriety, all the while Yukio Mishima remains in Japan's consciousness. The Mishima Prize was established in 1988 to honor work that "breaks new ground for the future of literature," while The Mishima Yukio Literature Museum was built beside Lake Yamanaka.

And in San Francisco, during the inaugural ceremony establishing the Rainbow Honor Walk, a hall of fame for LGBTQ individuals who were pioneers in their field, twenty individuals who were artists, musicians, writers, and protesters were unveiled.

Ever the writer and a protester, Yukio Mishima was among those first inducted.



Saturday, January 25, 2020

Former Drexel engineering professor accused of misusing $185,000 worth of grant money on strippers, sports bars, and iTunes





The romantic in me likes to imagine these were some swinging engineering classes, but I digress.

The former chairman of Drexel University's engineering department was charged last week by the Philadelphia District Attorney's Office for allegedly stealing $185,000 worth of grant money.

Professor Chikaodinaka Nwankpa is accused of spending the money on strip clubs, sports bars, and iTunes. The District Attorney's office charged Nwankpa with theft by unlawful taking* and theft by deception, each of which is a felony.

His alleged crimes occurred between 2010 and 2017 and seemed suspicious when an audit showed a number of "no receipt" purchases. When confronted, Nwankpa allegedly passed off his strip club visits as catering and food expenses, although many of the purchases occurred between midnight and 2am. But who doesn't get the late night munchies sometimes, amiright?




Of the $185,000, Nwankpa allegedly used $96,000 on "adult entertainment" and sports bars, while $89,000 was spent on iTunes, various meals, and other additional purchases. So, with that iTunes catalog, he has a future side-hustle as a wedding DJ.

Drexel placed Nwankpa on administrative leave pending the investigation, but he later resigned. A preliminary hearing is scheduled for January 29th.



*Isn't "theft by unlawful taking" sort of redundant? Theft is literally taking something unlawfully--no? Can you commit theft by taking stuff lawfully? Just sit there and grab something and promise you might bring it back? Why haven't we been told this before??


Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Famous Writers Shirtless: Norman Mailer



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.


Today:  Norman Mailer




As noted before on this blog, Mailer apparently is always half-naked. He's shirtless so often that he's an off-brand Chippendale dancer.

When people talk about "free love" in the 1960s and '70s, this is usually what it looked like. Shirtless middle-aged men wearing denim, lounging out in public parks like they're posing for an Ă‰douard Manet painting.

Remember, folks: When hiding love handles, always belt your pants at least six inches above your belly button.


Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Mount Holyoke professor allegedly attempts killing colleague with fire poker and garden shears.






That tenured track position probably doesn't look too great right now...

Things at sleepy Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley, MA, weren't as sleepy over the holiday break, as one professor allegedly tried to kill another faculty member over unrequited love.

According to Massachusetts State Police, art professor Rie Hachiyanagi, 48, went to the home of an unnamed fellow professor from Mount Holyoke around 10pm on December 23rd. After being invited in, police allege that Hachiyanagi wasn't the most gracious house guest, and repeatedly beat her colleague about the head using a fire poker, garden shears, and a rock. The victim suffered multiple fractures throughout her face.

Police allege Hachiyanagi repeatedly told her colleague that she loved her and the colleague should have always known. Granted, swinging a fire poker might send some mixed messages. After hours of beatings, the alleged victim feigned sympathy and professed love to Hachiyanagi, so as to get 911 help for her wounds. The victim told authorities of the attack while safely at the hospital.

NBC News reports that Ms. Hachiyanagi's specialty at Mount Holyoke is with handmade paper works. Writing on her faculty profile statement--in poetic form, no less--she states, "The process of making paper by hand allows me to be humble / As plant fiber and its beauty must be generated from nature." Maybe that's where her garden shears angle comes from. One can only guess. She's humble after all.

Ms. Hachiyanagi is being held without bail until February 4th and is on administrative leave from Mount Holyoke pending the investigation.



Friday, January 3, 2020

Aww, f*#@! The script to "Uncut Gems" has the 7th-most f-words in Hollywood history.


Three guesses what word he's about to say.


Sometimes, with screenwriting, one word becomes a crutch, a go-to, a repetition. For Adam Sandler's new movie, the f-word is the go-to crutch again and again...and again. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Sandler's recently released Uncut Gems has the 7th-most f-words in Hollywood cinematic history. And how many f-bombs does it actually take to get to 7th place? It takes 408 utterances. Somewhere, Quentin Tarantino must be smiling.

Of course, that means there are six other movies that exceed Uncut Gems for such linguistic love. So, how does the top-10 shake out?


1.)  Swearnet: The Movie  (935 f-words)
2.)  Fuck: A Fuckumentary  (857)
3.)  The Wolf of Wall Street  (569)
4.)  Summer of Sam  (435)
5.)  Nil by Mouth  (428)
6.)  Casino  (422)
7.)  Uncut Gems  (408)
8.)  Straight Outta Compton  (392)
9.)  Alpha Dog  (367)
10.)  End of Watch  (326)


In a shock to all of the western hemisphere's moving-going public, not one film in the top-10 is a Quentin Tarantino creation, despite his scripts' collective reputations. In fact, he barely cracks the top-30, with Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction popping up in 27th and 28th place, respectively.


The face of vindication.


And here I was thinking something like Scarface would be in the mix, but it appears Tony Montana was a choir boy all along.



Thursday, November 23, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: Ernest Hemingway



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.


Today:  Ernest Hemingway, again.




Pssh, I'm not impressed unless it's a sawed-off, buddy.

Admittedly, I expected a better bathroom from Ernest. There's a complete lack of wall accents and natural light. This bathroom looks like something a mob syndicate in eastern Russia would have out back.

So many things to wonder about--the least of which is Ernest's affinity for shirtlessness. Like, why a double-barreled shotgun? More importantly, why a double-barreled shotgun in the bathroom? Did a water buffalo just enter the room? What happened here? Do you keep the shotgun behind the toilet with the toilet plunger? How does this work?




Monday, August 14, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: John Irving



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today:  John Irving






Sure, you see a septuagenarian male hiding his grade-A pecs from the camera. But I prefer to think Irving just enjoys playing the role of a masculine coquette.

Don't mock the tattoo. Irving apparently got it in honor of his Canadian wife. Plus, it looks like it was probably 50% off at the shop. You can't deny the savings.


Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: George Bernard Shaw



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.


Today:  George Bernard Shaw




"Paint me like one of your French girls..."

Nudity might be freeing, but that position can't be comfortable.

Maybe it's the lack of proper lighting and all the shadowy ambiance, but for a middle-aged man ol' George clearly was hitting up the local Planet Fitness.


Japanese kindergarten teacher moonlights as a break dancer.



Ayumi Fukushima is a world-class break dancer (or "b-girl" if you're a cool kid down with the slang), traveling the world and in various competitions for solo and group performances.

She is also a kindergarten teacher.

Fukushima is so successful that the website Deadspin lets us know she's going to be a coach when "breaking" becomes a sport at the 2018 Youth Olympic Games.

Here's Fukushima in action with her sister in a two-versus-two event:





And here is a 4-minute documentary by filmmakers Daniel Zhu and Jennifer Whalen of Stance detailing the backstory:






This reminds me of my arthritic, overweight, elderly kindergarten teacher who was an elite beatboxer. It was her side hustle when she wasn't dishing out Teddy Grahams to us for snacktime.




Friday, July 28, 2017

Theater Director: William Shakespeare was probably gay, and we might as well just admit it.






From the file of "Okay, I guess so if you say so":

While William Shakespeare was married to Anne Hathaway (no, not that one), some historians have believed that his plays often focused on a societal outsider more than anything else. Likewise, out of the bard's 154 sonnets, 126 are addressed specifically to men.

Royal Shakespeare Company's artistic director Greg Doran told BBC Radio 4 that he believes this all adds up to Shakespeare probably being gay, but living in a time when such a lifestyle wasn't allowed. Being gay--an outsider--is why he was capable of writing about characters that were on the fringes of society, says Doran.

"It allows him to get inside the soul of a black general, a Venetian Jew, an Egyptian queen or whatever and that perhaps that outsider perspective has something to do with his sexuality," Doran tells the BBC.

Doran points out that in Merchant of Venice the character of Antonio seems quite infatuated with Bassanio. "[I]t’s clearly a very particular portrait of a gay man and I think in the 21st century it’s no longer acceptable to play that as anything other than a homosexual," says Doran.

So was Shakespeare gay? Was Antonio? Does this really change anything? Why do I look so good in denim? These are all questions that might never be answered.



Saturday, July 22, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: Ernest Hemingway (with dog)



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today:  Ernest Hemingway




Is Hemingway wearing shorts here? Is he nude? I fear he's going commando and letting things just air out. The New York Times might be doing us a great service.

With that face of confusion, you just know that dog has seen things it wishes it could un-see.



Thursday, July 13, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: Jack Kerouac and Peter Orlovsky



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today:  Jack Kerouac and Peter Orlovsky




Worst chiropractic job ever performed.

Considering the beach is practically deserted except for two other people fully clothed in the background, how balmy was it?

Or, rather, how much booze was on hand that day to explain 90% of this photo?


Sunday, April 16, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: Jack London



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today:  Jack London




Oh, Jack is back posing in his Fruit of the Looms.

The fighter pose tells a lot. Mainly that Jack London lost a lot of fights.

How does this photo shoot start? Does the photographer say, "Listen, I need you in your tighty whities, barefoot, looking like you've never thrown a punch in your life. Now, vogue for me, damnit!"?

Got to give him credit, though. That man is as hairless as a baby seal.



Thursday, April 6, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless--Special Famous Composers Edition: Leonard Bernstein


Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today: Leonard Bernstein




This is the saddest interpretation of This Little Light of Mine.

The famous writer of orchestral music shows that writing a musical score can build up the biceps.

All your famous composers and conductors in history have gone shirtless. Beethoven used to flex his pecs to the orchestra during breaks. Mozart? Lathered up in baby oil to show off his traps. True story.


Thursday, March 2, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: Derek Walcott



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today:  Derek Walcott




This is either what a beach mob boss looks like in St. Lucia, or the cover to Walcott's new line of saucy romantic novels.

When you look as intimidating as this, you can feel free to wear your swim trunks as high over the belly button as you damn well feel.


Thursday, January 19, 2017

Famous Writers Shirtless: Jack Kerouac



Writers are never known as the studliest or sexiest of people, but that doesn't stop them from showing some skin for the camera once in awhile.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today: Jack Kerouac



"Oh, dear lord, don't look at the strange shirtless man, honey. Don't make eye contact..."

Forget Fifty Shades of Grey. This is fifty shades of lacking melanin.

Gotta give Jack some credit, though. That's the fittest alcoholic you're ever going to see outside of a Lifetime movie.