A career in writing will lead to premature aging and a healthy dose of personal humiliation. But science and medicine is where you'll make money, fame, and the respect of your parents. As a result, we might as well pay attention to what they're doing in those fields.
So it's time to take another peak at anything going on in the world of science and medicine this week.
Starting off with: Club beats at the deepest spot on Earth.
story one:
The Mariana Trench needs to tone it down.
Researchers at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and Oregon State University dropped a titanium encased hydrophone that could withstand the crushing pressure of 16,000lbs per square inch at the bottom of the deepest spot on Earth--Challenger Deep within the Mariana Trench. Then they listened for twenty-three consecutive days and recorded the first sounds humanity has ever heard so far into the planet.
Nearly seven miles (36,000ft) below the surface, a category-4 typhoon can be heard echoing high above. A passing ship's propellers pulse by. A magnitude-5 earthquake vibrates the ocean's waters, surrounded by a rhythmic whale hum. And, if you listen closely, Nemo and Dory are wondering what all the fuss is about.
Listening to the sound clips can feel mildly haunting, like the one above of the whale hum before and after an earthquake. Then you realize the whale was just moseying by and singing a tune right after the earthquake rolls through, and you understand whales have different priorities in life. Like enjoying good dubstep.
story two:
Polish chemists are trying to kill Superman!!!
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| Poland's next great superpower. |
A group of Polish chemists tried to create kryptonite, the one thing that can incapacitate Superman--as we all know Eastern Europeans are in the pocket of Lex Luthor. Because this is Poland though, the chemists ultimately failed, continuing a centuries-long tradition of Polish jokes.
The attempt at dabbling in comic book chemistry actually resulted in a discovery of sorts. The chemists initially took the known element of krypton, one of the inert elements, and successfully bonded it to oxygen, creating krypton monoxide. Considering that krypton was thought to be unreactive to everything, the fact it can be bonded to anything is a huge step. Toward what, I don't know. Let's assume toward siding with Batman.
As a result, now in a comparison between you and a collection of krypton, you'll be the more inert element.
story three:
Scientists have discovered the gene linked to grey hair!!!
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| Heavy hair mojo. |
In news that shook Clairol and Just for Men to their very core, scientists have discovered the gene that is linked to grey hair. Called IRF4, and sitting on chromosome six, the gene regulates natural pigments in the skin, hair, and eye, and is one gateway to knowing why your hair changes to grey. Surprisingly, it's not because of your annoying in-laws. Not solely, at least.
Not that they can manipulate the gene to reverse your grey just yet. Scientists know the gene linked to balding after all, and Rogaine isn't batting an eye. But the news is the first time a gene has been linked to George Clooney's hair mojo, so it's a start.
During this research into the greying gene, scientists also discovered the gene for beard thickness and unibrows.
That's right. Unibrows no longer need to fear tweezers, a waxer, threader, or public scorn. Unibrows need to fear lab coats.
story four:
Male rats in a bromance tend to have lower stress levels!!!
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| You got the queso, bro? |
You know how it starts. You're a male rat. If you're not working gutters and dumpsters for a meal out on the streets, you're in a laboratory waiting to be injected with some horrible disease.
But maybe you meet a fellow male rat. Dave. He understands the struggle, too. You both talk. You have a beer. You share your worries over mildly stressful events. A bromance blossoms. And the next thing you know, you're in a rat fantasy football league or trading seven-layer dip recipes before major sporting events. You suddenly feel slightly better about your rat life!
In essence, researchers have discovered that male rats, when studied under mild to moderate stress, became more social, huddled and touched more in their cages, and saw an increase in their oxytocin levels, which led to healthier lives overall. The study at the University of California-Berkeley also found that extreme levels of stress had the opposite reaction on the rats, causing them to withdraw and stop answering texts or phone calls from Dave, because Dave just doesn't get you anymore.
Dave was more an acquaintance anyway.
