"The Twelve Days of Christmas" is slumming it this year.

Are you that someone with a substantial amount of disposable income? You know, the kind of person who'll drop $6K on a Chanel bag or jet off to Greece with the lover-of-the-week, so you've got to woo the masses with your greenbacks to thwart your lack of personality?

Good news! You're going to save a ton this holiday season if you want to purchase "The Twelve Days of Christmas"!

According to PNC Financial Services, everything included in the lyrics of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" has barely increased since last year. The inflation rate? A meager 0.7% increase. During that same time the Consumer Price Index increased by 1.7%. Time to make it rain some turtle doves!!

Actually, two turtle doves saw the biggest percentage increase in cost, to a one-time cost of $375, an uptick of 29% from last year. Turtle doves are largely only native to Europe (but vaguely exist in 22 states!), which means import costs to America alone are going to hamper the bank account. Working on the cheap? Snatch a couple of North American mourning doves in your backyard and call it a day. No one will know the difference.

In fact, birds as a whole were fairly stagnant in price the past year, as avian flu has passed by and supply and demand are rather flat. That doesn't mean it's necessarily cheap.

The most expensive one-time purchase from the song lyrics? Swans! Seven of those vicious vixens will set you back $13,125.

The cheapest gift? Eight maids a-milking, for a tidy one-time lyric sum of $58.

That's right. Hiring eight women to milk cows will set you back the equivalent of an average Tuesday night's dinner at Applebee's, while a handful of swans will cost you a month's rent for a two bedroom walk-up in midtown Manhattan. Thankfully, Americans are resistant to living wages for their employees. We wouldn't want a woman to be worth more than a swan.

In the end, what's the total amount spent when repeating the lines of the song?

$156,507.88

The repeated lyric of eight maids a-milking costs a total of $290 of that.

At least our priorities are straight.

(Sigh.)