Showing posts with label Maine is like diet Alaska. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maine is like diet Alaska. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Remember library card catalogs? They're still going strong in parts of Maine.




"Strong" might be a slight exaggeration. But the dusty and old wooden cabinet used to search by title or subject or author, a system that seems anachronistic by today's modern world, still exist in parts of America.

According to the Bangor Daily News, an estimated 25 of the 265 libraries in the state of Maine operate off card catalogs. No electronic filing system to be had, yet no worries either. People get by just fine.

Fort Kent--a tiny town against the Canadian border (and terminus point for US Route 1)--still uses the catalog cards at their library, yet patrons don't mind. "Look at how many books there are here," Louis St. Clement, a visitor told the Daily News. "(The librarian) knows each and every one and where to find it."

Alas, even cozy relics have to make way for technology, so even Fort Kent is slowly changing. For two years, the staff of two librarians have been digitally cataloging every book and periodical and research material, one at a time.

"It's been a labor of love," assistant librarian Cheryl Pelletier told the Daily News. "At one point our computer crashed, so for a year we wrote all the information in notebooks to be entered into the computer later."

Yeah--the computer crashed.

Maybe keeping the card catalog around might be a good idea. Just in case.


Saturday, December 21, 2019

There's a Canadian town with two exclamation points in its name...and no one knows why that is.


Entering a chuckle hut of a town.



Just over the northern border of the state of Maine in a remote agricultural belt of Quebec, Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! quietly sits when it isn't having a good chuckle at itself. And it's the only known geographical spot in the world that has not one, but two exclamation points in its name.

Founded in 1860 as a Roman Catholic mission, it took until 1874 before a name was created. How it was created, by whom, or what it means, well, that's another matter. There is no official record, just a date. The town's own website offers casual references to tired--and apparently easily amused--explorers who came upon nearby Lake Témiscouata and said, "Ah! Ah! Here is the lake!" Excitable people, those early explorers.

Other theories suggest the indigenous language is the root, specifically the Wyandot tribe's native Northern Iroquoian word "ahaha," meaning "path." A path to remote regions of nowhere? Sure.


Even the Canadian postal service laughs.


Alas, the Quebec provincial government's Commission de toponymie du Québec, which creates geographical names, firmly disagrees with a good laugh or a good path, stating:

"[W]e must not believe these fanciful interpretations. In reality, the haha, in French, is an archaism that identifies a dead end...an impasse, an unexpected obstacle."

Well, "haha" might be a French archaism, but the Commission doesn't actually have any proof of Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! utilizing a French archaism. Indeed, the Commission's own site encourages and emphasizes rooting geographical names in French. That generally negates the indigenous Wyandot having any influence or anyone enjoying a giggle fit or offering geographical names.

The Commission posits that Lake Témiscouata--which is 5 miles away from Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, by the way--caused 19th century explorers to believe they encountered a "haha" (an unexpected obstacle) that was too difficult to get around with canoes. At 28 miles, Lake Témiscouata is fairly long, but only 3 miles wide. Sure, humans crossed the Great Lakes and the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans by then, but the Quebec government suggests, ehhh, Lake Témiscouata was simply a no-go and settlers didn't ponder canoeing. Considering Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!'s town motto is "Solidaire dans le labeur" (Solidarity in the work), it seems everyone felt solidarity in not working to get across the lake.

Yet, no one--not the Commission de toponymie du Québec, not historians, nor the town of Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! itself--has any idea where those very curious exclamation points come from. They just exist. They just do.

As for the "Saint Louis" part? Don't get your hopes up. It's probably named after one of three 19th century locals named Louis, but--you guessed it--no one knows with any certainty which Louis either.



photo:  RICLAF/CA by SA.20



Thursday, August 24, 2017

Not to be outdone by Mark Twain, E.B. White's old house is for sale as well.





If you're looking to buy a famous writers New England farmhouse, but Mark Twain's humble $1.85 million Connecticut abode doesn't do it for you, drive deeper into the northern reaches of New England and there you can take a gander at E.B. White's $3.7 million property now up for sale in rural, coastal Maine.

Like Twain, E.B. White's former shack is a sprawling farmhouse--although White's has a literary connection beyond the author himself. The property includes the barn that inspired White to write Charlotte's Web.

Located in North Brooklin--or roughly a five hour drive northeast of Boston--the 44 1/2 acre saltwater farm sits beside the Atlantic with 2,000 feet of shore frontage. Included is a boathouse, a pond, meticulous gardens, and the aforementioned barn, which includes the rope swing mentioned in the book.

Never to let an animal-inspired moment pass unnoticed, PETA has reached out to the real estate agent in charge via a press release, asking that "the owners convert the home into an empathy museum for pigs, complete with a vegan café offering veggie sausages, vegan BLTs, and more."

Wait--PETA isn't done yet with ideas. The organization continues:

"E.B. White's portrayal of a pig named Wilbur inspired people all over the world to take a closer look at the animals they consider to be 'food' and go vegan," PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote. "A PETA museum in his historic farmhouse would help visitors see that every pig is some pig, an intelligent individual and not a collection of sausages, bacon, and chops."

Okay, well, we know that isn't happening. Forget the vegan angle. PETA must be anticipating literally tens of people to drive five hours from civilization to have a veggie BLT.




photo: Mark Fleming / Yankee Magazine

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Good thing Red found it when he did: The 'Shawshank' tree is no more.

Hurry up, Red. That tree isn't going to last forever, man.

Stephen King wrote The Shawshank Redemption as a slice of the Maine prison system, and the movie adaptation played along and pretended it was rural Maine as well.

Except the movie's producers probably realized you never want to visit rural Maine under any circumstances, so they used a great deal of Ohio as a stand-in.

This included the area where Red (played in the movie by Morgan Freeman), once released from prison, seeks out a tree that his former prison mate, Andy (played by Tim Robbins), told him about. The tree was where Andy proposed to his wife--and buried at the base of the tree would be a tin with information and money for Red to come join in a new life with him.

In the book and in the movie, the tree is symbolic of hope and love and redemption.

Alas, Mother Nature doesn't care about your feels and doesn't care about Stephen King stories. Lightning struck the tree in 2011, badly damaging large portions of it. Then, yesterday, not one to wait around for the inevitable, Mother Nature drew up a fury of high winds which caused the tree to keel over.

Which sort of makes you wonder what Red would have done if the tree actually tipped over years before he ever found it in the book or the movie. Andy didn't think this through, did he? He can figure out how to chisel through prison walls and overthrow a corrupt warden--but the man never had a backup plan if Mother Nature went on a tear.

That was the really lackluster alternative ending Stephen King never wanted you to read.



Monday, June 6, 2016

Maine bed & breakfast can be yours for 200-word essay and $150.



"Write an amazing essay, win a multi-million dollar propety!" has been trendy the past few years as a means to generate interest in otherwise quirky and expensive properties.

The latest comes deep from interior Maine, where a bed & breakfast is "calling all dreamers, writers and entrepreneurs" for their best 200-word essay and $150 entry fee for the chance to win the Freedom House B and B.

Located in Dover-Foxcroft, ME, two hours northwest of Portland, deep (no, like deeeep) in the woods of the Maine, the building is old and historic, but the location is rather--umm--remote? Thankfully, out of the ten questions on the FAQ section of their website they tackle the most important topic:


Does Freedom House B and B have a liquor license?

No it does not have a liquor license.



Well that settles that then. Looks like we're blowing the $150 essay fee we just saved on a night out drinking somewhere in civilization.



Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Maine governor walks off stage mid-speech after students hold up sign criticizing him.

Come check out the comedic
stylings of Gov. LePage!




From the Thin Skin Department comes the state of Maine's governor, Paul LePage. Let's welcome him to the stage! Come up here, Gov. LePage!!


[[[crickets]]]
[[[no governor]]]

Gov. LePage! Welcome to the stage! Let's hear it!

[[[yawns]]]
[[[no governor]]]

Governor?






The sad part is that this was generally the case the other day as governor and all-around wannabe rejected comedian, Paul LePage, stormed off the stage at the dedication of the Theodora J. Kalikow Education Center and called two students "idiots" after the duo held signs up that said "LePage: Maine’s Shame." That's about as hot a take as you'll get in Maine, where the protests are as scorching as the weather.

Why were the students unhappy? Maybe because any time Gov. LePage gets in front of a microphone he has something offensive to say. Take this past weekend, when he decided to randomly alert people that he thinks speaking with Indians requires an interpreter and Bulgarians are hard to understand.

"It's hard to hear what they're saying," LePage said over the weekend. "Have you ever tried to say, 'What's the special today?' to somebody from Bulgaria?"

Rim-shot!! Try the veal!

Maybe the students were Bulgarian though? They might have just been answering what the special was.



Friday, February 26, 2016

Bowdoin College has the best college food! (Eh?)


Fun Fact: Moody looking polar bears don't exist in Maine.


I'm not even certain what this means. How is this judged? Are Michelin Stars assigned? I don't dine at any college establishment unless two Michelin stars are given. WHERE IS THE AMBIANCE, STANFORD??

The Princeton Review claims that little itty-bitty Bowdoin College in rural Maine has the best campus food for any university. Bowdoin has a strangely strict acceptance rate for students, too, and apparently has a similar standard for food. Because when you're in the middle of nowhere, nothing woos the intellectual elite quite like quality dinners and an abundance of moose.

Number two on the list? UMass Amherst.

Food is apparently so wretched in New England that college meals tastes like French cuisine. Très chic!




Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Where Dead Writers Reside, Part Seven: Seamus Heaney, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Zora Neale Hurston, William Shakespeare



It's October, and that requires obligatory Halloween-inspired posts. And nothing is more obligatorily macabre than looking at the tombstones of those who have died.

Every year we do this. Now through Halloween we'll occasionally post collections of tombstones to see where famous writers are hanging out today.

Today:  Seamus Heaney, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Zora Neale Hurston, William Shakespeare


Seamus Heaney:



You know that kid in class that always won everything? You knew they were smart and talented, but, damnit, you just wished you could come out on top once?

That kid was Seamus Heaney. From winning scholarships to attend high school, to winning the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1995--to seemingly every possible award granted in poetry--Heaney always won eventually. The only thing he ever really lost? His life.

In 2013, Heaney fell coming out of a Dublin restaurant. He went to a private hospital to have a procedure done the following morning (nothing specific was ever detailed), but died before he ever made the operating table. Irish food has killed lesser men.

According to Heaney's son, the 74-year old poet texted his wife minutes before he died. Ever the literary type, Heaney texted in Latin (you mean you don't text in Latin?) to his wife "noli timere"--or, for us living in the 21st century, "do not be afraid."

I'm afraid someone else is going to win a poetry award from this point onward though.

Tombstone Notes:
Originally Heaney was buried with just a wooden cross over his plot, but he eventually received a tombstone months later. The epitaph says, "Walk on air against your better judgment," proving that even Nobel laureates can end on a low note.


Nathaniel Hawthorne:

New England writers from the 1800s always seemed to stay in New England. They might hopscotch around, visit Europe, but they all seemed to die somewhere back in those six little states.

Hawthorne was born in Salem, MA, then moved to Maine with his family, attended college in the same state, bouncing around all of Massachusetts working various jobs (like being the official surveyor of the towns of Salem and Beverly, or the official weigher and gauger at Boston's Custom House), all the while writing.

Somehow, in all his travels, he befriended a slew of other famous people. He met Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in college, became close to future president Franklin Pierce after randomly meeting him at a stage stop in Maine, and once went to a picnic where he met Herman Melville before Moby Dick was ever written.

He also befriended death on one of his travels. While not feeling well in 1864 (so much so that his neighbor, Amos Bronson Alcott [yes, Louisa May's dad], suggested he stay home and rest), Hawthorne decided to visit New Hampshire's White Mountains with (now former president) Pierce. He went to bed one night and never woke up.

Alcott never opened a psychic business, but he should have.

Tombstone Notes:
Buried at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Concord, MA, on Author's Ridge, nearby Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, Louisa May Alcott, and anyone else who felt like going by three names--Hawthorne bucks the trend. And only his last name appears on the grave marker in an understated manner you'd expect from a pauper.


Zora Neale Hurston

When you think about small town living, you think about the sort of town Zora Neale Hurston was born in. Odds are if you know of Notasulga, Alabama, it's because you live there. The town has an estimated population in 2014 of 868 people. That's down from 965 in 2010. No one is sticking around, and neither did Hurston.

Hurston's life was like the worst adaptation of Cinderella possible, with no happy ending. Her family moved to Florida when she was three, and a decade later her mom died. Hurston's father quickly remarried. The new stepmom and Hurston's dad shipped young Zora off to boarding school--but then eventually stopped paying her tuition. Hurston ended up expelled from the school and on her own as a 15-year old. But Hurston worked odd jobs for years to survive, and was determined to finish high school. She did, graduating at the age of 26.

Hurston attended Barnard College at Columbia University, graduating with her B.A. in anthropology at the age of 37. She worked various positions before publishing her seminal work Their Eyes Were Watching God. But widespread fame eluded her. For every Hawthorne who had it easy, there's a Hurston who had it hard.

By the time old age rolled around, Hurston was poverty stricken, to the degree she was forced to live at the St. Lucie County Welfare Home. There she suffered a stroke--and later died of heart disease by 1960.

Tombstone Note:
Hurston was buried in an unmarked grave. By 1973, novelist Alice Walker and others searched for Hurston's plot and, based on a best guess where Hurston was buried, placed a burial marker. No one is certain Hurston actually exists under the tombstone. Nonetheless, an educational placard is placed beside the tombstone, so by Florida standards it's official.


William Shakespeare

Do you really need a short biography of him?

No. No you do not.

Tombstone Notes:
Shakespeare died suddenly at 52-years of age for reasons unknown. He was buried at Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon, England, underneath a stone slab with an epitaph that swears a curse on anyone who moves his bones. The threat (in modern spelling):

Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear,
To dig the dust enclosed here.
Blessed be the man that spares these stones,
And cursed be he that moves my bones.


Two snaps and a twist! Isn't he gettin' sassy?!

And guess what? The threat worked. When the church was undergoing restoration in 2008, the Bard's grave remained untouched.



Thursday, October 8, 2015

$1.2 million house for sale for the cost of a 300 word essay and $285 entrance fee.


Do you love Mickey Mouse enough that you want him to be your neighbor? Do you feel like you need more Donald Duck in your life? Good news then! Dreams really can come true! Mickey hasn't been lying to us all these years!

Celebration, Florida, is a planned community that originally was the lovechild idea of the Walt Disney Corporation in the 1990s. Most of the town straddles Interstate 4, connected directly to Disney World via a street called World Drive, and tries to be an idealized version of what an American neighborhood should look like. Some have described it as a wannabe Utopia or Xanadu. Some have described is as straight out of The Stepford Wives.

Now, a $1.2 million home located in Celebration can be yours for a crafty essay under 300 words and a $285 entrance fee.

Says Mark Rutecki, the administrator of the sale:

"How often do you get a chance to buy a beautiful Celebration Florida home for only $285 and a few well-chosen words? This is one of those opportunities that rarely knocks, so fire up your imagination."

Well, Mark, I imagine there's a comma between Celebration and Florida (c'mon, man), but I digress. This opportunity actually does knock occasionally, more than Mark might admit. Just recently, a bed and breakfast in Maine was sold using the same method, albeit for a cheaper entrance fee of $125 and the burden of knowing you'd have to live in Maine.

The Celebration home has five bedrooms, five full bathrooms and two half bathrooms (so you're never more than 10ft away from relief!) spread out over 6,700sq. ft.

Celebration no longer has any official relationship with the Walt Disney Corporation, as Mickey and friends divested nearly all their controlling interest in the planned community.

But that doesn't mean you can't be BFFs with Mickey. He's just down the road after all.


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Keep it pithy: A 200 word essay could win you a bed and breakfast.




It sounds like a Stephen King novel come to life.

It overlooks the White Mountains in rural southwestern Maine. Seven guest units, two dining rooms, a guest house, a barn, and 12+ acres of land--and it's all yours for an amazing 200 word essay and a $125 entrance fee.

Innkeeper Janice Sage is running a contest to see who will be the new owner of her bed and breakfast, a property built in 1805 that she's owned since 1993 after she, too, won a similar contest. Now she's ready to retire.

Located roughly three and a half hours north of Boston and an hour from Portland, ME, the Center Lovell Inn is valued at an estimated $905,000. Sage won't give the property away unless she receives 7,500 short essays, which will raise an estimated $938,000. Out of that, Sage will donate $20,000 to the new innkeeper so they have a head start.

Before you associate a Maine B&B with a Stephen King novel, remember that The Shining took place in Colorado. Rabid dogs and pets rising from the dead is Maine. Blood flowing from the walls is totally a Colorado phenomenon. Your Maine B&B will be fine.





Thursday, February 26, 2015

Maine high school students create a hullabaloo over 'The Pledge of Allegiance.'



The state of Maine is remote, brutally cold, and now the hub of patriotism controversy.

A group of students at South Portland (ME) High School have created a controversy after adding four words to the daily 'Pledge of Allegiance" request. Specifically? "If you'd like to."

Senior Class President Lily SanGiovanni recites the pledge everyday--but she and her fellow class officers read Maine law and found it's not a requirement for any student to pledge.

The law, verbatim:
A school administrative unit shall allow every student enrolled in the school administrative unit the opportunity to recite the Pledge of Allegiance at some point during a school day in which students are required to attend. A school administrative unit may not require a student to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. [2011, c. 162, §1 (NEW).]

So, before her daily request to pledge, SanGiovanni added "if you'd like to."

School administrators asked her to stop, claiming it was school procedure, not punishment.

But that hasn't stopped SanGiovanni and her fellow class officers, who claim they're continuing the fight. As she tells the NBC affiliate in Maine, "We are not doing this because we hate America or anything. We are really doing this because we understand there are people who choose to say the pledge and it means a lot to them and for others it doesn't."

"The fact that I was asked to take away the 'If you would like to,'" SanGiovanni said, "I felt like they were asking me to take away the law."



Thursday, July 31, 2014

Some Famous Writer Once Lived Here (or still does): Bangor, Maine



Some Famous Writer Once Lived Here is where we check out cities or towns that--you guessed it--a famous writer once lived (or still does). Picture the illegitimate lovechild between the US Census report and a tourist pamphlet from a local chamber of commerce. What's it like there today? Here's where we find out.



Today:  Stephen King currently lives in Bangor, Maine:


Maine is a state with two identities. One is the postcard perfect rocky coastline that greets the Atlantic Ocean, dotted with lighthouses and harbors brimming with lobster trawlers and dappled sunlight. The other is a densely wooded interior, thick with moose and unsmiling bearded men wearing camo and the weight of fifty New England winters.

Bangor is a halfway house between the two Maines, from mainlining heroin (rural interior) to sobriety (the coastline).




Clearly Bangor, Maine, doesn't have the sex appeal of San Francisco or Miami--or even Burlington, VT, for that matter--but it does have Stephen King. If you lived in Miami you'd write about Cuban drug smugglers named Tony Montana who have with a cocaine jones. If you lived in Bangor, Maine, you'd write about rabid dogs named Cujo who want to murder you and your children. That explains Bangor, and that explains Stephen King.


The basics of Bangor, Maine:

Location:

About thirty miles north up the Penobscot River from Penobscot Bay and the Atlantic Ocean you'll find Bangor, hanging at the midway driving point between Portsmouth, NH, and Saint John, NB, Canada.

When given the choice between New Hampshire or Canada, always go with Canada.

2010 Census:

Population: 33,039 people, up nearly 1,500 people since 2000. Stephen King's next novel will be about population control.

Racial Makeup:  93.1% white, 1.7% African American, 1.2% Native American, 1.7% Asian, 1.5% Hispanic or Latino. If you ever doubted Maine was racially diverse, well, it's apparent that you were right, and your pessimism didn't help.

Of those listed as families by the U.S. Census, 12.6% had a female householder with no husband present, while 4.2% had a male householder with no wife present--proving once and for all that men can't live by themselves.


What to see, what to do in Bangor:





It's always good to dabble in a little culture before venturing into the forest to kill a few moose. The University of Maine Museum of Art has over 6,500 pieces, including works by Marsden Hartley, Berenice Abbot, Winslow Homer, and John Marin. And at least one of those people is vaguely famous, too!

You cannot see this Winslow Homer painting in Maine.


The Mount Hope Garden Cemetery has over 300 rolling acres to walk, and was the setting for the filming of Stephen King's Pet Sematary. Homicidal offspring rising from the dead? Sounds like a family tourist attraction if I ever heard of one. Bring the kids!


He carries a big stick...and a smile.


There's a Paul Bunyan statue to visit, claiming to be the largest Paul Bunyan statue in the world. Because you don't want to see just any second-rate gigantic Paul Bunyan statue...you want to see the largest.

Interested in Bangor's #1 tourist attraction, according to TripAdvisor? Nothing says a hot, happening good time like the Cole Land Transportation Museum, which has a variety of transport vehicles that have graced the dirt and paved roads of Maine. According to Wikipedia, the museum has "various vintage automobiles, including [...] a Buick, a Volkswagen, and the Oldsmobile 98, the official vehicle of Governor Joseph E. Brennan of Maine, who served from 1979 to 1987."

That's right, folks. You, too, can visit a museum and see not only a Volkswagen, but a Buick as well. That's the kind of suburban titillation usually reserved for strip malls.


Where to eat in Bangor:


The Fiddlehead Restaurant has a $16 burger and $25 pork ribs, but their website links to a news article that claims Fiddlehead is inexpensive. You know what's inexpensive? Ramen.



Cheap! And remotely tasty!


If you're looking for a taste of Alabama, but minus the feel of 1860's Confederacy, venture in to Moe's Original Bar B Que, which has locations through the U.S., including 13 in Alabama...and one in Bangor. Is Bangor the Birmingham of the north? Yes. Yes, it is.

You know when a restaurant is too cool to have a website because it gets by on word of mouth? So then they like to add some level of mystery in today's modern world by keeping themselves off the web? That's Friars' Bakehouse, which apparently makes ginormous sandwiches that make Bangor residents' hearts flutter like a protagonist in a Stephen King novel about to be murdered. Since we can't learn about this restaurant revelation, let's all assume it's like the cross between a Subway and a Chipotle, only classier.


Wasn't the modern recipe for brownies created in Bangor?

Yes. But don't we all kind of prefer cupcakes?


Stephen King's thoughts on Bangor:
"Where we live in Maine is one of the poorest counties. A lot of the people we see and hang with cut wood for a living, drive trash, that sort of thing. I don’t want to say I have the common touch, but I am just a common person, and I have this one talent that I use."

(In Neil Gaiman's interview in the UK Sunday Times Magazine.)





Sunday, April 7, 2013

Maine rebranded its lottery scratch tickets as 'Kwikies.' Then everyone became perverted, and Maine un-rebranded their lottery tickets as 'Kwikies.'





Scratch tickets--you know, those little bits of lottery hope because you desperately lack a sensible plan for retirement?--were being rebranded as 'Kwikies' by the Maine state lottery.

The word 'Kwikie' was causing a hullabaloo with local stores that distribute the scratch tickets. As David Welch, owner of the Village Market in Fairfield, ME, told the Bangor Daily News, "That's going to be real uncomfortable for my girls behind the register to have guys come in and say, 'Hey, give me a Kwikie.'" (Because calling your female employees 'girls' shows you're a forward thinker.)

But the furor was quick and fleeting. Maine lottery officials backed off. According to the lottery director, Gerry Reid, "[A]fter a larger sampling of retailers and consumers, the negative concerns were clear."

And with that, Maine immediately reverted back to being the Idaho of the northeast.




The original reference to 'kwikie' would be, obviously, 'quickie'--which was first seen in a Los Angeles Times story in 1926 referencing movie production in Hollywood that was efficient and, well, quick.

All that other 'quickie' stuff you're thinking about? Yeah, that's all you. You and the perverts of Maine.




photo: Maine Lottery promo photo for the Kwikie.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

For what it's worth, Maine is the most peaceful state in America.


The United States Peace Index came out today, which gauges a state's overall peacefulness on a variety of levels (violent crime, incarceration rates, handgun ownership, number of Peter, Paul & Mary albums owned, etc.). And no other state is channeling its inner Flower Child more than Maine* apparently.

All of New England fared well, too. Even the metro region report came back glowingly, saying the Cambridge/Newton/Framingham, MA, area is the most peaceful metro region in the entire country.

I assume my hometown of Somerville--which borders Cambridge--is included in that region, too, which is a little disappointing. I just lost a little street cred. Guess I'm going to have to get some temp teardrop tattoos on my face and pack a water gun to show I'm still hardcore, yo.



*That's because they're all dead from boredom.