Twenty-one Famous Writers Who Rocked a Mustache

Movember is upon us in a couple of weeks. It's that time of year where for one month random everyday guys try to grow a supple lip caterpillar on par with Tom Selleck, Larry Bird, and Burt Reynolds, all in hopes of raising awareness about men's health.

But why wait a couple more weeks to celebrate the glory of lip lusciousness?

Here are twenty-one famous writers who rocked the facial furniture:

1.) Eugene O'Neill

It was potentially physically impossible for the playwright to smile.

But why smile when you have a lower brow like that?

2.) Rudyard Kipling

Definition of a crumb duster if there ever was one.

3.) H.G. Wells

His eyebrows are almost as big as his 'stache. But the slight smile and soft eyes work in conjunction with his face lace to give a warm appearance.

4.) James Joyce

Carnival barker, circa 1920?

Someone who dated Winona Ryder, circa 1992?

Or just a dirt squirrel aficionado?

5.) Derek Walcott

Most listed here won a Nobel Prize in Literature.

They all have mustaches.

It's a facial fungus conspiracy.

6.) Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Looks like someone thinks they've got the #1 mustache!

7.) Carl Jung

That's not how you wear eyeglasses, Carl.

But that is how you rock a 'stache.

8.) Salman Rushdie

Not sure what's more captivating. The nose neighbor, the parted hair, or the quality turtleneck.

9.) Marcel Proust

Things that make you go "Hmm..."?

Like how did I become so ravishing when I grew my lip lover?

10.) Tennessee Williams

I'd be overly excited, too, if I had an upper lipholstery like that as well...

11.) Thornton Wilder

...and I'd look pretty moody if my lip luggage was only of the carry-on variety.

12.) William Faulkner

At first glance you almost might think it's Colonel Sanders.

Then you realize it's not, and your dreams of some quality, mass-produced fried chicken are dashed.

13.) Robert E. Sherwood

He's Anthony Quinn's doppelganger.

If you don't know who Sherwood or Quinn are, this probably explains your lack of motivation in life.

And that lack of motivation is why you don't grow a little facial fuzz.









14.) Friedrich Nietzsche

Perspectivism?

Oh, no, my friend--everyone agrees that you have quality bristle batons. That much is true.

15.) Kurt Vonnegut

It's difficult to focus on Vonnegut's fanny duster when he has such a head of lettuce coming at us.

It's like he's channeling his inner Mr. Brady from The Brady Bunch.

16.) Wilfred Owen

Being in the military means a trimmed and tight grass grin.

17.) O. Henry

That's the look of a man who knows how to style his handlebars.

When in doubt, go with the wing-dings.

18.) Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The banker look never goes out of style when you have a tongue toupée this supple.

19.) Mark Twain

One of the premier flavor savers ever.

Let's have a moment of silence and take in its beauty.

20.) Gustave Flaubert

It's a natural reaction to want to throw fish at Flaubert.

But he is NOT a walrus.

21.) Ernest Hemingway

Papa covered the facial fuzz spectrum, from clean shaven to all-encompassing beards, with a little lip foliage in between.

Here we see him showcasing his Mr. Tickler to full charcoal effect.