Political plagiarism as a teachable moment.

By now we all know Melania Trump channeled her inner 14-year old high school freshman and played a little verbal Freddy Fast Fingers with her speech at the Republican National Convention the other night.

In it, Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama's Democratic National Convention speech eight years earlier. Words and phrases like hard work, American dream, values--yada, yada, yada--the sort of political speech making where nothing but white noise is said, but it's an easy sell. Americans love a good fairy tale, regardless of political affiliation.

Which leads us to the teachable moment that has American teachers giddy with excitement. They can teach popularized plagiarism! The BBC reached out to various teachers, including Brad Francis, an English teacher at Davis Middle School in Evanston, Wyoming.

"Melania's speech is probably the most blatant example that I have ever seen," Francis told the BBC. "Eighth grade students need very literal examples, and her speech is basically verbatim to Michelle Obama's. It will help them learn absolutely what not to do in their writing."

Admittedly, Francis might need to learn a little bit of nuance. The speech is absolutely a case of plagiarism, but the entire thing isn't "basically verbatim." Francis would get a C+ grade for such hyperbole and exaggeration in his argument.

"I have students who try to copy and paste material from the internet all the time to pass it off as their own," Francis continued telling the BBC. "That speech was Michelle Obama's intellectual property."

The real disappointing angle that's falling through the cracks with all of this is that two different political parties actually wanted to claim that feeble and uninspired speech as either intellectual or property.

The next Librarian of Congress is the first woman and first African-American to hold the position.

Carla D. Hayden has been nominated as the 14th Librarian of Congress by Pres. Barack Obama. If confirmed, she will be the first African-American and first female to hold such a position.

Formerly she was the chief librarian at the Chicago Public Library, and is currently the CEO of the Enoch Pratt Free Library in Baltimore, where you can get suggested reading titles from her. It's like when your best friend tells you about a book that's great that you really, honestly, probably don't feel like reading.

It goes without saying the previous thirteen Librarians of Congress were a fuddy-duddy.

Obama admits he can't keep track of all 'The Game of Thrones' characters.

And if we're looking at ourselves in the mirror, odds are none of us can either. Tyrion? Tywin? What's the difference? As long as I know The Imp, we're good.

And apparently that's pretty much all that matters to Obama as well. Sitting down for an interview with GQ for their Men of The Year 20th anniversary edition, the president says he recognizes the characters, but couldn't tell you a synopsis by names alone. But his favorite person in all of Westeros?

“My favorite character is probably…the dwarf, what’s his name?" asked Obama.

It better be "King Imp" by the end of all of this.

On average, children take 112 standardized tests from grades K-12.

112 tests--spread out among federal, state, and local levels. All those tests equate to 2.3% of overall classroom time. That 2.3% is only for the time to administer the test, not for classes that prepare students for said test. Common Core Standards implemented in recent years increased that number drastically, while parents have demanded--and local and state school committees have started--their own tests to coincide on a smaller level.

President Obama wants to cap that time spent at 2%. "Learning is about so much more than just filling in the right bubble," said Obama in a video released on Facebook.

So instead of 9 or 10 standardized tests a year, maybe it'll be only 8 tests.

Little Johnny and Suzie in kindergarten can spend all that extra free time being an actual five-year old for ten minutes.

Grade school girl disappointed that surprise guest is Obama, not Beyoncé.

As part of a national day of service commemorating the 9/11 anniversary, President Obama took part by visiting a grade school in Washington, where he participated in a line of people inserting toys into backpacks which will be given to homeless children.

A sixth grader named Madison got to stand beside the president on the line, and felt then was as good a time as any to let the Commander-in-Chief know that she had high hopes for Beyoncé visiting, but got him instead.

"I really wanted it to be," she said, "but then I realized it was gonna be you."

Obama took the disappointment in stride. "Malia and Sasha would feel the same way," he told Madison.

Report: Americans read news headlines and not much else.

There's something about a Malaysian Airlines plane flying into Crimea, and Russia says it's going to back Rand Paul in 2016 because Obamacare caused a car accident which has shut down the highway for hours.

I think.

President Obama released his NCAA college basketball picks, probably won't win $1 billion.

March Madness is upon us, which means 68 colleges and universities will vie for the national championship in basketball. Moreover, it's a time for gamblers and back alley bookies to make a buck off us regular jamokes on a selection grid.

Everyone gets involved, even Warren Buffet, who's aligned himself with Quicken Loans this year to award $1 billion (yes, billion) to anyone who correctly selects every winning team in the bracket. Odds of correctly accomplishing that feat? According to mathematicians, an easy 9.2 quintillion-to-1 (yes, quintillion), or 128 billion-to-1 if you know anything about college basketball.

Like the rest of us, President Obama knows who's going to win it all this year. His selection? Michigan State University--but take it with a grain of salt. In his years as president selecting a national college champion, Obama has only been correct once, in 2009 when he selected the University of North Carolina, yet also incorrectly guessed countless other matchups in his bracket. Last year, out of 8.15 million brackets submitted online to ESPN, President Obama finished in 2,080,996th place, or the 74.4th percentile.

That seemingly leaves the guessing to the rest of us. And who am I going to pick?

What? And give up my billion dollars?

White House Twitter feed: Let your mom know you don't know how to spell.

Some poor White House intern just lost any future letter of recommendation.

Yes, yes, the ever-classic piece/peas/peace spelling whoopsie you usually see from 4th graders and in emails from Nigerian princes looking your help in banking deals happened to the White House Twitter feed today.

As a promotion entitled #GetCovered to the Affordable Care Act, the feed showed Obama holding a sign promoting the health care initiative. Later, to continue the promotion, the following sign was posted:

Yeah, that intern can kiss that administrative assistant job for the local congressman goodbye.

GetSpelling. Because people won't mock you afterward.

The history of presidential pardoned turkeys.

This is a man that bombed Hiroshima. So, you know.

Officially, it's called the National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation. Unofficially, it's known as the easiest day on a president's calendar.

It's that time of year when the media gathers outside the White House to watch a president 'pardon' a turkey that otherwise would be doomed for someone's dining room table tomorrow.

The tradition started in 1947 with President Harry Truman, greeting representatives from various turkey, poultry, and egg associations, who was presented with a photogenic turkey to pet and have the media coo over. Truman never 'pardoned' any turkey though. According to researcher Tammy Kelly at the Truman Presidential Library and Museum, "the Trumans were not animal people." Kelly believes the Trumans ate the turkey in their photo-ops, although no one knows for certain.

Eisenhower is ecstatic over a recipe for giblets.

President Dwight Eisenhower didn't 'pardon' any turkey either.

In fact, he took it one step further--he ate the poor feathered friend in all of his photo-ops--and it's on the record.

Sly move, Tom. Sly move.

President Kennedy was more diplomatic. Just days before his assassination, Kennedy apparently took a shine to the bird. The turkey was adorned with a sign that said, "Good Eatin', Mr. President." Turkey masochism isn't as charming as you imagine, since Kennedy replied "Let's just keep him."

Officially, Kennedy never 'pardoned' the bird--tell it to the Hague!--more guilty conscience than anything. But it's as close as we get to a first-ever presidential decree.







The Tom-and-pony show continued through the years. Lyndon Johnson had turkeys visit the White House. Richard Nixon had turkeys visit the White House. Gerald Ford had turkeys visit the White House. (And we're not just talking members of Congress! ZING!) None 'pardoned' a bird, nor had a Kennedy-esque guilt complex. According to The Washington Post, each of those respective presidents' libraries admits--almost ashamedly--their respective president never thought to pardon a turkey.

Jimmy Carter presidential turkey pardon photo not available.

When Jimmy Carter came into office, well, uhh, Jimmy was busy. The turkey photo-op took a break for four years.

His library claims that Carter's wife, Rosalyn, did all the trimmings.

And by trimmings they mean no pardonings.








Ronald Reagan was an actor before he was a president, so he knew good press when he saw it. The National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation was back on. For the first six years Regan didn't care about pardoning any birds though--although there's also no history of him roasting the poor bastard up for the family either.

Reagen throws caution to the wind.

By 1987, with the Iran-Contra scandal heating up and the president looking to avoid questions about pardoning Oliver North for his role in the affair, Reagan--ever cute with a quip--joked that he was also going to pardon the turkey he was posing with. Ollie North? A turkey? What's the dif? Again, not official though.

The turkey did end up at a petting zoo, so there's that.






Which brings us to President George H.W. Bush, who finally issued a presidential 'pardon' in 1989, declaring the bird would live out his days far from any dinner plate.

"He will not end up on anyone's dinner table," Bush said. "Not this guy. He's granted a presidential pardon as of right now."

Bush isn't even sure what he just did.

No one knows the root of Bush's generosity though. Twenty years later, his own presidential library wasn't aware he was the first to officially sanction a reprieve from turkey death row--nor does Bush's old press secretary, speechwriters, or damn near anyone else have a clue where the pardon came about. It just did. Possibly Bush was just feeling extra kindly that day. Yet he started a tradition.






Every year since, presidents have continued the tradition of 'pardoning' a turkey. The newest quirk is that two birds have been pardoned from death row. So why two?

Pardoned turkeys these days are bred from birth for their photo-op with the leader of the free world. They're trained from a young age to handle loud noises, camera flashes, and crowds. No one wants to see the president attacked or upstaged by a turkey--so there are fail safes, lest one turkey deemed from birth turn out to be a bad egg. The fail safe? A second turkey, brought up the same way alongside the original, just in case we have a nature over nurture moment in our turkey futures.

This meant one turkey was 'pardoned' officially (pardoned even at birth, little known to him or the world) while a second bird sat behind the scenes wondering his fate.

But once the tiniest bit of knowledge came out to the public about the second, behind-the-scenes stunt turkey, the White House 'pardoned' both.

Gobbler is thrilled Obama isn't Eisenhower.

And that leads us to today. The White House--on Facebook, no less--now holds a poll to see which turkey should be pardoned. In the case of the 2012 Thanksgiving Presidential Turkey (seen here on the right), it's a battle between birds named Gobbler and Cobbler.

No worries, though. Now we know both birds will be safe. One simply receives the title of officially 'pardoned,' while the secondary stunt turkey coasts on the first bird's coattails.

And both end up on a farm to live out their days.

Happy Election Day: Homer Simpson goes to vote in 2012.

Happy Election Day: Lewis Black and Nutella

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Happy Election Day: Bob Dylan predicts today's election.

He mumbled that President Obama will win in a landslide. Because when Americans look for political punditry, we turn to the insight of Bob Dylan.

No word on whether Dylan plagiarized this prediction.

Penn professor has some thoughts on free speech. She's not a fan.

Anthea Butler, professor of religious studies at the University of Pennsylvania, wrote an article in USA Today in which she argues for the arrest of the filmmaker--'Sam Bacile'--behind the movie which incited riots throughout the Middle East.

While most Americans agree the film--which disparages Muhammad and Islam through historical falsehoods--is horrible, Butler believes the deaths of Americans in Libya also revokes the filmmaker's right to free speech.

Her reasoning? The film "denigrates" a religion and created riots in foreign countries which "don't understand or respect our right" to free speech--and because the movie is hateful and caused deaths thousands of miles outside American borders, Bacile should be arrested, says Butler.

But don't get confused, Butler reminds us--"If there's anyone who values free speech, it is a tenured professor!"

Sigh.

[[[grabs some Advil for my headache]]]

Not only do Libyans not understand how the first amendment in the United States works, it seems neither does Butler.

Yet, President Obama spoke to the United Nations General Assembly today and had this to say about the movie and the deaths in Libya (transcript from the New York Times):

That is what we saw play out in the last two weeks, as a crude and disgusting video sparked outrage throughout the Muslim world...I believe its message must be rejected by all who respect our common humanity.

I know there are some who ask why we don’t just ban such a video. And the answer is enshrined in our laws: Our Constitution protects the right to practice free speech.

Here in the United States, countless publications provoke offense. Like me, the majority of Americans are Christian, and yet we do not ban blasphemy against our most sacred beliefs. As President of our country and Commander-in-Chief of our military, I accept that people are going to call me awful things every day --(laughter)-- and I will always defend their right to do so.

-------

Don't tell this to Professor Butler though. She might demand your arrest for disagreeing with her.



UPDATE 9/28:
Anthea Butler must be made of magic and gypsy tears--because 'Sam Bacile' was arrested, per her demand.

Sadly, for Anthea Butler, her magical powers are limited. Bacile was arrested because he's a shady guy with roughly a million probation violations against him, and cops enjoy it when criminals kind of just fall into their lap.

President Obama knows sign language.

It's pretty impressive when you're the most famous human on the planet, with media attention that glares a spotlight on you 24/7, and yet you have a skill that most in news media never knew about. This is one way of saying President Obama is somehow fluent in American Sign Language.

At a recent campaign rally, a deaf supporter used ASL to say, "I'm proud of you." Without missing a beat, Obama apparently was capable of reading what was signed to him, and immediately signed back "Thank you."

This skill runs in the family, as Michelle Obama has a history of signing, too.

When I was a kid I once knew how to sign the alphabet. I was also fluent in all dirty words in ASL. Somehow, through advancing age or eroding brain cells, I forgot all of it except one bad word. All of this is to say you probably should never look to me to be president.

Veni, vidi, vici: Obama's State of the Union address is written at an 8th grade level.

The University of Minnesota's Smart Politics blog analyzes everything politics--not the least of which includes the style and grade level of each State of the Union speech given by a president since Franklin Roosevelt. By their measurements (using the Flesch-Kincaid readability scale), President Obama's State of the Union speech the other night was aiming for the pubescent crowd. In fact, all of Obama's SOTU speeches average an 8th grade reading level. Specifically, 8.4. By this standard, it's the worst of any modern president.

How do presidents from the past eighty years rank in grade-level speeches?

Rank          Name                    Grade Level
1.            John F. Kennedy             12.0
2.            Dwight Eisenhower          11.9
3.            Richard Nixon                  11.5
4.            Franklin Roosevelt          11.4
5.            Gerald Ford                    11.2
6.            Jimmy Carter                   10.8
7.            Harry Truman                  10.5
8.            Lyndon Johnson              10.4
8.           George W. Bush              10.4
10.          Ronald Regan                10.3
11.          Bill Clinton                       9.5
12.         George H.W. Bush           8.6
13.          Barack Obama                8.4

Some reasons for the lower grade levels? The five most recent presidents also have the five lowest scores. Researchers say it could be a matter of the way human beings talk--that, in essence, there's a universal dumbing down of America, and the easiest way for a politician to connect with voters is to talk to them in styles they understand. Put simply (pun intended): we're all dumb, and politicians know this.

On the other hand, researchers say it might just be a matter of the style of speech--that humans (and, by association, sadly, politicians) use shorter, compact sentences for emphasis, whereas 50+ years ago it was uncommon practice to use such speaking style. These sentences are the Danny DeVito of sentences--a lot of action in a little package. (Compact sentence example? Think Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Whatta modern guy that Caesar!)

The real shocking news from this study? That Jimmy Carter talks in the sixth-most educated manner. Don't me wrong--I love me some Jimmy. I just can't listen to him talk and not envision him drawling about peanut farming.

Obama summer reading list lacking any serious attention to Jackie Collins.

First off:

The White House says President Obama has five books to read in nine days of vacation on Martha's Vineyard. Five books?? Because I know when I go to Martha's Vineyard I want to make sure I never once lay my eyes on the ocean.



Second off:

Four of five are fiction.

What? No biography of Lincoln or Washington like every president reads?

Third off:

Where's the Jackie Collins? Or even Danielle Steele in a pinch? You need to reach the average voter!

Fourth off:

Even the president doesn't read poetry.

Admittedly, I can't spell Schenectady or Sheboygan without spellcheck

The White House has long been a boon for poor grammar and spelling. Dan Quayle couldn't spell "potato" without jazzing it up with an "e." And George W. Bush couldn't get through a few sentences without creating new forms of unrecognized speech patterns.

Now, Barack Obama just lost upstate New York in the next election by changing the spelling of its biggest city.

Deadspin.com caught a screen grab of Obama on ESPN filling out his March Madness basketball bracket, and damned if Syracuse didn't become "Sycasuse." Not to be outdone, the ESPN graphics guy flubbed right along, giving his own spin on the spelling. I believe "Syracsue" is how hit-and-run lawyers refer to the city.

Most troublesome of all is that Obama thinks Syracuse will make it to the Elite Eight.