Should coranavirus be capitalized when writing?

The quick answer is no.

There are numerous "style guides" used by writers, editors, and scientists alike, largely created by people with too much time on their hands to come to any universal agreement. God help us if The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and Associated Press could ever agree on punctuation or grammar. Even Buzzfeed has their own style guide. Buzzfeed. Yes, folks, we have entered that confusing moment in human development.

But here is where some of the largest style guides fall on the spelling of coronavirus.

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The Associated Press:

The Associated Press Stylebook (used by numerous journalists worldwide) states, "referring to simply the coronavirus is acceptable on first reference in stories."

They're adamant that you include "the" before "coranavirus," because--specifically speaking--there are a number of coranviruses, and COVID-19 is simply the version of coranavirus which developed in late 2019. The AP doesn't want you sounding glib and casual in your writing, so don't forget "the."

The AP's explanation also goes on to describe the family of diseases (SARS, MERS, COVID), and warns writers, "Do not exaggerate the risks presented by any of the three diseases by routinely referring to them as deadly, fatal or the like."

Key here is "routinely referring to them." The AP stresses a focus on facts. Yes, the diseases potentially are fatal, but the vast and significant majority of people survive, many without symptoms. Lack of panic doesn't attract readers and viewers, and lack of readers and viewers means lacks of advertising, which is why it appears broadcast and print media largely ignore this rule.


Chicago Manual of Style:

The Centers for Disease Control follows the Chicago Manual of Style Handbook (which is heavily favored by academic journals), and specifically links to the handbook on their site. The CDC gets bonus points for not creating their own style guide.

In essence, the CMOS Handbook limits capitalization at all cost across all forms of writing, unless the word involves a proper noun or acronym. For example, one would never capitalize "cold" or "flu" by themselves, but if referencing a certain pandemic, like the Spanish Flu, it's capitalized. Same rules apply for coronavirus.


American Medical Association Manual of Style:

Short and simple, it's largely the same as the Chicago Manual. The virus isn't capitalized; acronyms are. They could simply link to the Chicago Manual, but that would mean looking less important in the highly nuanced and petty world of style guides.

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So, in conclusion, no capitalization is needed.

Now, we all can go back to washing our hands and schlepping through another day adorned in pajama pants while questioning the merits of ice cream at 11am.

White privileged people are uncomfortable talking about being white privileged people.

"That would upset me very much. I wouldn't go there."

So said one Westport, CT, resident to the Associated Press regarding an essay topic asking local students their thoughts on white privilege, a topic that is frustrating many residents.

The essay topic is one many Americans are troubled with acknowledging-- race and wealth. Americans are uncomfortable with the topic because, on some level, many judge one another based on easy qualifiers like wealth and race, too, yet they don't want to be judged in turn on such simplistic metrics.

Westport is beautiful, quaint, charming, and enveloped in money. For local populations between 20,000-60,000, Westport is noted as one of the United States' ten wealthiest communities. It's ranked fifth in the nation for median family income, with median home prices of $1,200,000. And the town is also 93% white.

These aren't flaws or problems. Repeat: These are not flaws. There is nothing wrong. These are simply facts.

Westport is wealthy and predominantly white--which led to a creation from the city of a diversity council a decade ago called TEAM Westport, which sought to increase the diversity and appeal of the community to a broader spectrum of people. Part of that involved asking local students this year what white privilege entailed in their lives.

That's all. The essay question simply asks for self-awareness.

It hasn't gone well.

"There's a lot more controversy around it than many of us expected," said Harold Bailey Jr., a retired IBM vice president who is black and chairs the diversity council. "Just the fact it says 'white' and 'privilege,' for some people that's all they need to see, and all of a sudden we're race-baiting or trying to get people to feel guilty. That's not at all what it's about."

Longtime resident Bari Reiner disagrees. "It's an open town," she said. "There are no barricades here. Nobody says if you're black or whatever, you can't move here."

Reiner--and others--seem to misunderstand nuance. The question asked what it simply meant to be white and wealthy, and the benefits inherent in that combination, which Reiner and 93% of her fellow residents are. It is, again, a matter of self-awareness.

Right now, reading comprehension awareness about what the essay question actually asks would be an huge advancement.

Ducks need to plan better.

A mother duck decided to lay eggs in the courtyard of a Charles City, Minnesota, elementary school recently. Why? Who knows? Because she lacked planning, nannies, and sensible life goals, I guess.

Eventually the eggs hatched, which meant it was time to head toward a nearby water source--and a parade of duck panic never seen in Make Way for Ducklings ensued. The Associated Press documented the duck dart and dash, proving that it's impossible for a mother duck to look laid back.




It is Minnesota after all. Winter just ended yesterday, and they have--max--two weeks before it's -20 again, so that might explain the duck panic.

Finally, the National Spelling Bee will require skill.

After years of laughably easy* championship-winning words like appoggiatura, succedaneum, and scherenschnitte--and after back-to-back years with dual champions--the Scripps National Spelling Bee will finally broaden its championship level word list from 25 to 75, and allow judges to dive into more difficult words if they feel the need.

The bee will not have an endless supply of words though. As the bee's executive director, Paige Kimble, told the Associated Press. "We did not want the specter of the championship being determined by the endurance level of a young child," she said. (Spellers range from 6-14 years old.)

Apparently it's frowned upon for a small child to power down a few cups of black coffee and spell 'til dawn. Regardless, prize money will be increased this year from $30,000 to $40,000 for the champion. Second place will now earn $30,000, and third place will receive $20,000.

Well, one way to spell endurance is through dollar bill signs.




*Laughable because I don't know what they mean and it's easy to forget I was an English major.

Romanian prisoners are pumping out scientific books. Or are they?

Potential Romanian criminal mastermind.

Romania--that little European chestnut best known for goat farming and the gymnastic stylings of Nadia Comăneci--has a law that states a prisoner can have 30 days taken off their term if they publish a book of scientific merit. The law came from the Communist era when imprisoned intellectuals were given incentive to do something worthwhile since they were viewed as generally worthless as laborers. See, kids? It pays to study if you think you'll ever turn to a life of crime.

According to a report, prisoners rarely used that incentive. Then, suddenly, after a crackdown on corruption in recent years sent a number of wealthy elites to prison, the number of books published by Romanian prisoners crept up to 90 in 2014. That leaped to 340 books in 2015.

Reports trickled out of the amazing literary feats occurring inside the prison walls. One 212-page book was allegedly written in 7 hours. Another prisoner, an apparent deadbeat, took 12 hours to write a 180-page book. That's faster than I wrote this sentence.

An investigation behind the blossoming book production points to the wealthy prisoners paying professors at various colleges and universities to ghostwrite the texts. "The quality of the work is poor, and some are bluntly copied," one expert told the Associated Press.

Like you, my faith in the Romanian prison system has been shaken to its core.

Fargo 6th-graders beat college students in picking hypothetical stocks.

Two 6th-grade math classes at Fargo's Oak Grove Lutheran School participated in a game of money management, in which their teacher used two online investment companies to hypothetically select companies to buy stock in.

One of those online investment companies was holding a challenge for colleges and universities, where the collegiate investment club that selected the best collection of stocks (in terms of return) would win $5,000.

The rate of return for the best university investment club? 18.5%.

The rate of return for Fargo's Oak Grove Lutheran School middle schoolers? 22%.

How did they do it? According to the Associated Press, the 6th-graders picked companies they knew about with solid track records. That's all, nothing special. The students used an investing app called Motif that bundles stocks based on a common theme and idea. For example, there's the "No Glass Ceilings" collection of stocks, which Motif's founder, Hardeep Walia, credits his wife with creating--a motif in which all the bundled companies are led by female CEOs.

One student, Eloise Baker, selected Under Armour for logical reasons.

"That's what I wanted for Christmas. I thought that's what a lot of other kids wanted," she said of Under Armour clothing to the AP. "I also found it to be a little bit cheaper than Nike, so I thought it was a good buy."

Ben Swenson, another student, has a different take on the class's success.

"I think it was sheer luck."



photo: Yahoo, via Associated Press

Malala Yousafzai's book banned from libraries of 40,000 affiliated Pakistani schools.

I Am Malala, the bestselling book by Malala Yousafzai that detailed her life and experience fighting for women's educational rights under the Taliban's rule before being shot in the head by them, has been banned by Pakistan's private schools.

Adeeb Javedani, president of the All Pakistan Private Schools Management Association, which has banned the book in its school system, tells the Associated Press, "Everything about Malala is now becoming clear. To me, she is representing the West, not us."

Funny what not being shot in the head by a society does to someone.

Kashif Mirza, chairman of the All Pakistan Private Schools Federation, which has also banned Yousafzai's book, feels similarly. "Through this book, she became a tool in the hands of the Western powers."

Remember that, folks--whenever you're shot in the head, shake it off and get back to what you were doing. Books, not bullets--that's what's dangerous.

Los Angeles students receive iPads for the classroom, immediately crack firewall and play video games.

As student Maria Aguilera told the Associated Press, "[School officials] kind of should have known this would happen."

Augilera later added, "We're high school students after all. I mean, come on."

When someone whips out the 'come on,' it's bad. When a teenager whips out the 'come on,' it's really bad.

The death of print newspapers is causing chaos at puppy shelters.

So says the San Francisco animal control agency which runs a puppy shelter.

The puppies are "poop machines," says Eric Zuercher, supervisor at the facility, to the Associated Press. The formerly abundant supply of old, used San Francisco Chronicle papers have dwindled with online newspaper subscriptions, which has led to a lack of puppy crate liners and, in turn, puppy poop overwhelming the shelter.

Your online subscription to a newspaper is why an abandoned puppy can't poop in peace.

Remember that when you're reading the New York Times book reviews online.

Hunter S. Thompson was a big fan of Chivas Regal, bean fritters, snorting coke.

Apocryphal? Probably. Interesting? Absolutely.

Buzzfeed has a photo of an old Associated Press report telling of Hunter S. Thompson's daily routine.

Tip of the day:
After going on a two hour midday binge of cocaine, you'll want to smoke a little weed to take the edge off. That's the kind of tip Dr. Oz isn't going to give you on Oprah.

The man still got 7hrs of sleep. That's more than me, and I don't even go for the booger sugar.

'Hobbit' film a death trap for animals, innocence.

From the Oh, Geez, This Is Depressing file comes news that a New Zealand farm used to house animals from in the upcoming Hobbit film was a sort of death camp for the four-legged family.

According to wranglers hired by the production company, three horses, six goats, six sheep, and a dozen chickens all died at the farm, largely from poor conditions.

The farm was known for its rolling hillside--a rolling hillside which included sinkholes, bluffs, and broken down fencing--none of which is good for horses frolicking at 30mph, but is entirely Orc-approved.

[Probably best to skip this next part if you don't want to know what the Eye of Sauron wrought on a bunch of innocent animals.]


One horse, named Doofus (real name), only maimed his leg in busted fencing. Another horse, Molly, met the same fate, ripping her leg open. Unlike Doofus, Molly's injuries are permanent though. Both Doofus and Molly got off easy compared to others--including a horse named Claire, who was found dead after she fell over a bluff, where her head was discovered submerged in a stream. (Really, I'm not trying to make you cry here. I promise.)

Another horse, Zeppelin, died of natural causes according to an autopsy report--but animal wrangler Johnny Smythe said he believes Zeppelin died of a digestive infection from a new type of feed. Smythe said Zeppelin's intestinal track was filled with a yellowish liquid, indicating infection. (I don't want to see you cry. I swear.)

Finally, a miniature horse named Rainbow--who was to be used in the movie as a horse for Hobbits--was euthanized. Why? According to wrangler Chris Langridge's account to the Associated Press, "When I arrived at work in the morning, the pony was still alive but his back was broken. He'd come off a bank at speed and crash-landed," Langridge said. "He was in a bad state." (Okay, you can cry now.)

And that doesn't even cover the goat and sheep deaths, or the dozen chickens who--even the production studio admits--were maimed to death by dogs that snuck on the farm and tore the birds apart.

Producers of The Hobbit claim that not all the deaths were from neglect or poor conditions. The state that some sheep only died from exposure to severely cold weather. Because a death via hypothermia is totally fair game when compared to plunging off a bluff and breaking your back.


[Okay, you can read again if you skipped the above portions.]

Producers claim they tried to improve conditions on the farm once wranglers alerted them to the poor conditions, and they refute that the total number of deaths the wranglers swear by. The movie studio also wants you to know that The Hobbit's director, Peter Jackson, bought three of the pigs that worked on the film and took them home. 

Because three pigs going home with man previously known to crack 400lbs always turns out well for Pork Chop.





Yes, the photo is of My Little Pony. Why? My Little Pony > dead horses.

Scottish man dies, killing off an English dialect in the process.

Bobby Hogg isn't the name of a befuddled criminal mastermind from The Dukes of Hazard. Close, but no.

Instead, Bobby Hogg was an elderly Scottish gentleman of 92 years who was the last known speaker of a dialect of English called Cromarty. And being the last known speaker means two things die when you do--in this case, Mr. Hogg and the dialect of Cromarty.

According to the Associated Press, the dialect requires us fellow English speakers to pay attention closely.

Example? "Hiv thoo a roosky sazpence i thi pooch?" is Cromarty for "Can you lend me some money?"

Anyone who has visited Scotland now realizes the whole region speaks in the Cromarty dialect, so I don't know what the fuss is about. Linguists just need a Netflix account. I'm pretty certain everyone spoke Cromarty in Trainspotting.


photo: AP

Sesame Street changes Elmo's role.

Keeping with the preschool theme...

Elmo's role is being refashioned on Sesame Street. Gone is the 'Elmo's World' segment, which is being phased out after 13 years.

Now, Elmo has ten separate musical segments called 'Elmo the Musical' which, as the Associated Press states, uses music for an "emphasis on introducing concepts in science, technology, engineering and math to the preschool-aged viewers."

In case you missed that, let me hit it one more time:

An "emphasis...in science, technology, engineering and math to the preschool-aged viewers."

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: two year olds are total deadbeats when it comes to pulling their weight with rocket science.





photo: MSNBC.msn.com

Good news! We're all going to be panhandling for college!

According to an analysis by the Associated Press, middle- and lower-class students attending college are accepting the burden of paying off college more than ever. Meanwhile, students of the Buffy and Giles crowd (families earning $100,000+) have been disproportionately funded by various government agencies. How delightful!

Other facts from the AP:

a.) Accounting for inflation, state funding for college and universities has dropped 23% from 2000 to 2010, after growing 6% in the 1980s and 5% in the 1990s.

Feeling broke yet? Hold on...

b.) In 2000, only three states asked students to contribute more to their college funding out of pocket than the state offered in aid.

By 2010, 19 states asked students to contribute more than the state itself was willing to lend a hand.

Hold on! It gets better!

c.) States claim they're tight on cash.

Yet using a metric that measures a state's appropriation for every $1,000 of personal income, state support from 2000-2010 dropped from $7.25 to $6.11. In other words, by about 15%.

Better yet, let's quote directly from the AP article to get the full-on depressing angle about government funding:

"The states are simply funding other priorities," Hartle said. "They're funding Medicaid, they're funding corrections, they're funding elementary and secondary education." Higher education, by contrast, "has an awful lot of people who look like paying customers."

{{Phew}} I was worried college attendance was going to be dictated by academic ability. Now I'm relieved to know it's all going to be based on whether you feel like channeling your inner hobo.

The best part is knowing that after a failed attempt at bettering your life in college, the state will be more than happy to spend a crap ton of cash on you once you end up in prison. Par-tay!!

BREAKING NEWS: Andy Rooney hospitalized in serious condition.

According to the AP, Rooney is hospitalized in serious condition for unspecified reasons.

Just goes to show that retirement will kill you. Do you know of anyone who retired and didn't eventually die?

Exactly.

Pennsylvania governor thinks that colleges should drill for natural gas on college quads. In other news, Pennsylvania governors are impractical.

Pennsylvania is a bit tight for cash these days. So much so that its governor, Tom Corbett, has recommended slashing aid to state colleges and universities in his state by a teenie-tiny amount. And by teenie I mean 50%. He's a glass half-full kinda guy.

But don't worry, folks! Good ol' Corbett has a solution to fix that 50% shortfall. According to the AP and Gawker, Corbett thinks six state colleges and universities should drill--on campus--for natural gas deposits that might be underground in massive shale formations. As in set up a drill site right in the middle of the school quad. You know, where you can find the Free Tibet crowd holding drum circles and a chaotic game of frisbee golf might be getting pretty cutthroat.

According to reports, such natural gas drilling through shale often leads to massive poison in its wake, such as wastewater being discharged into sources of drinking water. Mmmmm...I bet that sounds as tasty as it sounds.

Sure, this drilling-on-campus idea sounds ludicrous. But this could be a new take on modern education. The business majors can plan the project. The engineering majors can erect the drilling site. The nursing majors can treat all the illnesses that come from any potential poisoning. The criminal justice majors can look into possible lawsuits. And the English majors can write a scathing tell-all.

Everyone wins!

The AP has decided to modernize like it's 1999.

Gawker Media reports that the Associated Press--and the poobahs behind writing AP Stylebook which newspapers around the country abide by religiously--have finally decided the word email no longer needs to be spelled e-mail.

Granted, this is the newspaper industry we're talking about. They might have just heard recently about email.