Canadian copy editor isn't down with that.

Now they've done it. They've angered John Wayne.

No one knows for certain where the term "ten gallon hat" came from. It might be from the Spanish tan galán, meaning so gallant or so fine, or maybe it comes from an English language corruption of the Spanish galón, which means galloon in English, a type of braided trimming around the crown of a hat. Whatever the reason, "ten gallon hat" doesn't reference the measurement of ten gallons of liquid.

Regardless, a copy editor at Maclean’s, a Canadian weekly news magazine, was very literal in their work this week. In the middle of a story referencing Hillary Clinton's campaign in New Jersey, the following passage was changed:


"Inside the coliseum, which serves as the athletic centre for the inner-city satellite campus of the state university of the Garden State, there was a high-school marching band performing in 38-litre hats and white boots, and cheerleaders in gold lamé hot pants."


The metric system! Canada's obsession with sensible scientific measurements has struck again. This copy editor went the extra mile 1609.34 meters and stuck it right in America's midsection.

There will be hell to pay once John Wayne hears about this.

Free Dobby! (And maybe buy him a shirt.)

At the Warner Brother's studio tour at Leavesden in London, people have begun leaving socks at the case where a life-sized (for a house elf) Dobby stands inside, all in hopes of freeing him.

In case you're confused because you didn't read the Harry Potter books, Dobby is Harry's elf servant. House elves serve humans in the book series, and can free themselves from a life of slavery if given pieces of clothing. (I don't know what the logic is, just go with it.) In the books, Hermione knits socks and places them around Hogwarts hoping the elves find them and free themselves.

Which brings us back to the studio tour where socks are now being draped beside Dobby's case, as this Twitter post shows.

People have been trying to free Dobby at the WB Studio Tour 😢 pic.twitter.com/qTduzDmZvu

— Hogwarts Logic (@HogwartsLogic) September 27, 2015

Isn't this cruelty though? Dobby's locked inside a case. How exactly is he going to be able to grab one of those socks. That's just teasing the poor little guy at this point. No wonder he has his eyes closed. He can't bear to look.





Now, I may be wrong, but the piece of clothing doesn't have to be a sock. So why not drape some other clothing for the poor guy outside the case. A shirt, a nice pair of slacks, some underwear. Dobby is wearing a sweat-stained and dirt-caked rag--and people are going to leave him mismatched socks? He needs an entire wardrobe, people.

And while I'm at it--what's up with so many cartoon characters lacking pants? Donald Duck and Porky Pig are prime examples. Both wear shirts--and bow ties, no less (BOW TIES!)--but no pants. So they can show their goodies, but damned if they aren't going to look stylish with the neckwear. Business up top, party down below, I guess.

Poems on shirts. Very, very expensive shirts.

Erdem is a fashion designer who has experience with Vivienne Westwood and Diane von Furstenburg. I know this because I'm fairly literate and just read it off the Neiman Marcus website.

What does this have to do with us? Erdem has released poetry-inspired high fashion shirts, covered in verses from his two favorite poets, Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman.

Described as a "Naomi Handwritten Love Poem Script Lace Shell"--which itself sounds as delicate as Dickinson and as cryptic as Whitman--the shirt consists of portions of both poets' works on the front, while the reverse side is labeled as a "very sheer organza back with keyhole." Ooh-la-la.

Dickinson's "I hide myself within my flower" and Whitman's "Passing Stranger!" are the two poems selected. The shirt retails for a gotta-have price of $1,490.

You, too, can stand frozen with a moody face and lifeless arms in a shirt that costs 1/30th the average American's salary!






I know what you're saying: But how can I pull the look together??
Neiman Marcus would like to recommend Erdem's Bonite Boxa Organza Lace Jacket for $2,640, matched with Erdem's Zola Tailored Lace Organza Trousers for $769.

Wearing an everyday Walt Whitman outfit for under $5,000? Tres chic.

Vogue Magazine releases its largest issues ever: 916 pages.

And only 907 pages are advertisements.

Dolce & Gabbana opens a newsstand for the public--

--wait, what?

Apparently they're buying an "upscale" newsstand outside their retail store in Milan. They're going to refashion it (no pun intended) so that the newsstand only houses glossy fashion magazines. Meanwhile, the newsstand's employee will be--really now, no lie--a "Mediterranean, dark-haired, sporty news agent clad head to toe in black."

This is news to me. I didn't know I was hired.

Gay penguins can love each other soon. Just after they act straight for awhile.

A year and a half ago, I noted a list of books banned most often--including a children's book about two gay penguins. That book was based on a true story.

Well, it turns out gay penguins are more common than anyone assumed. Naturally.

The Toronto Zoo has two male penguins who enjoy a little male bonding. And by male bonding I mean lusty evenings that turn into wedding shower gift lists at Pottery Barn and Crate & Barrel.

But the Toronto Zoo is homophobic. Or at least trying to increase endangered penguin populations--and last they checked, gay penguin adoptions were few and far between. So the Toronto Zoo tore the gay penguin lovers apart--and refuse to let them back together until they get busy with female penguins in one experimental night of misguided sex. Then, and only then, will the Toronto Zoo allow these gay penguin lovers back together.

And to think...I always thought Canada was more open to penguins.

Babar turns 80. Potentially has forgotten something finally.

They (they--the random nameless experts in the world used to back up any baseless fact I choose to throw out there for your consumption) say that elephants never forget a thing.

Babar, the French fashionista of an elephant and beloved children's book character, turns 80 years old this month. A little old age forgetfulness has had to kick in by now for the old guy, right? Does a green tuxedo seem like a normal thing to strut in?

The Easter Bunny once ruled the ancient island kingdom of Minorca.

According to LiveScience, a skeleton reported to belong to an extinct species of giant rabbit was discovered in Minorca, a tiny island off the coast of Spain. Was this a relative of the Easter Bunny? My complete lack of background in science suggests it is.

If alive today, LiveScience reports this gigantic rabbit would be six times larger than today's rabbit served with a hollandaise sauce at the finest French restaurants. Scientists hypothesize it grew so large from a complete lack of predators on the island. This evolution also led to smaller ears, bad eyesight, and an inability to hop. That explains why the Easter Bunny walks upright and sometimes wears glasses.

How do scientists know from a collection of bones that the Easter Bunny's ancestors had bad eyesight and hearing? I don't know. Just as I don't know how the Easter Bunny makes Cadbury Eggs. It's all a mystery.





I know. You're wondering what this has to do with books, writing, education, learning--that sort of thing. Well, I like to think science is a field of study that book lovers enter if they know math. That and Peter Rabbit and Peter Cottontail were books about anthropomorphic rabbits. It's quite possible Peter Rabbit and Peter Cottontail summered in Minorca. I'm just putting it out there.

Hamsters, and Penguins, and Zoos? Oh, my!

The American Library Association (ALA) comes out with their top ten banned books every year. Since this is a library association, they're a little slow to come out with their 2009 list. But we'll continue looking at banned books and censorship--here with the 2008 ALA list of Top Ten Banned Books.

A quick glance at the list shows the most common reason for banning the books is "unsuited to age group." That's a pretty fast and loose reason if you ask me. Anything can be "unsuited to age group" depending on the circumstance. Take, for example, our love of romance novels on this blog. "Harlequin Blaze" is an imprint of the Harlequin novel--self-described as "stories...so full of scorching hot passion, you're liable to singe your fingers just turning the pages." And guess what? There's a 50/50 shot your grandma is reading it, and last I checked such books weren't "suited" to your grandma's age group. Just saying. Maybe the reason grandma is knitting potholders all the time in her knitting circles is so she can handle her Harlequin Blaze books.

Among the books listed on the ALA 2008 list are two books for children:

8.) Uncle Bobby's Wedding, by Sarah S. Brannan.

From the Amazon. com description:

"When her favorite uncle, Bobby, announces that he is getting married to his boyfriend, Jamie, Chloe worries that he won’t have time for her anymore. The characters are all guinea pigs in human dress..."

I think it's easy to see what caused this book to be banned. I've always said the biggest threat facing modern America is guinea pigs wearing human clothes. Finally, people are cracking down on this, and not a moment too soon. What's next? Ferrets wearing sundresses? Hamsters wearing practical pantsuits?

1.) And Tango Makes Three by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson

This book has been the most banned book for three years running. Based on the true story of two male penguins who paired together in New York City's Central Park Zoo, the book recounts how zoo keepers gave the two males an egg by another couple. The egg would hatch, and that chick would be named Tango.

The real-life story occurred when two penguins named Roy and Silo found the penguin dating scene a little thin in the zoo, so they hooked up on a platonic level and created their own sort of bachelor pad. Being in such close quarters, romance was bound to happen. In time, Roy and Silo decided to try dating casually, before things started heating up. According to zookeepers, the duo eventually tried hatching a rock together. Admittedly, sex education is lacking at the zoo. But who hasn't had that awkward sex stage at some point?

After being given an egg to hatch together, Roy and Silo brought Tango, their daughter, into their lives. Raising Tango to maturity, Tango would eventually mate up with a male, Tanuzi, and live happily ever after.

But the white-hot media spotlight on Roy and Silo doomed their romance. First, they were evicted from their nest by other aggressive penguins. The penguins didn't say anything to the media, but I'm just putting it out there that their landlord was homophobic. Soon, Silo was seeing women on the side, especially a morally loose female penguin from California named Scrappy. Meanwhile, Roy was last seen alone, single, and staring at a wall. (Yes, that link goes to a New York Times article.) The lust between Silo and Scrappy was short-lived, as the California minx was off seeing other penguins, stepping out on Silo before they got too serious. Alas, Roy and Silo could never rekindle their romance. Roy could never trust Silo for his philandering ways.

Greatest story ever told??

Greatest story ever told.