The 'Epic of Gilgamesh' just became a bit more epic.

"The Epic of Gilgamesh" is considered the first-ever epic poem and, arguably, the first great piece of literature. Now, after a recent clay tablet discovery, the epic has grown a bit more epic.

In 2011, the Sulaymaniyah Museum in Slemani, Iraq, purchased a set of roughly 80 to 90 clay tablets from a known smuggler, largely as a means of recouping lost artifacts that disappeared during the American invasion and war in the country. It sounds like the plot to the most boring George Clooney movie ever. But it turns out one tablet wasn't just any tablet.

Farouk Al-Rawi, a professor at the University of London, advised the Sulaymaniyah Museum to pay the $800 asking price for one specific mud-caked tablet, as its cuneiform script stood out to him. And for good reason. It was a lost 'chapter' to "The Epic of Gilgamesh."

"The Epic of Gilgamesh," in case you skipped it in high school, tells the story of Gilgamesh, king or Uruk, and his companion, Enkidu, as they travel to the Cedar Forest to defeat the ogre Humbaba. Previously, the Cedar Forest was thought to be fairly silent. No more. The tablet adds 20 lines to the poem, largely describing the sights and sounds within the forest.

"The new tablet continues where other sources break off, and we learn that the Cedar Forest is no place of serene and quiet glades. It is full of noisy birds and cicadas, and monkeys scream and yell in the trees," Professor Andrew George, who assisted on the translation, told Live Science.

George continued his description, saying this chapter parodies courtly life, "like King Louie in 'The Jungle Book."

But does Baloo the Bear make an appearance? I think that's what we all really want to know.

This Week in Science!!!

Here's the occasional wrap-up of anything noteworthy in the world of science.

Starting with a 100 million-year old murder mystery:

Story One:

Fossilized spider caught red-handed murdering a wasp!!!

Someone contact Dick Wolf, because he might have another addition to the Law & Order franchise. Researchers have found a 100-million-year-old spider attack on a wasp trapped at the moment of murder in frozen amber.

It is the only fossil known of a spider attacking its prey.

According to Oregon State University zoology professor George Poinar, Jr.,"This was a male wasp that suddenly found itself trapped in a spider web. [Ed: Cue dramatic music.] This was the wasp's worst nightmare, and it never ended. [Increase tempo of the violins.] The wasp was watching the spider just as it was about to be attacked [Cue blood-curdling scream.], when tree resin flowed over and captured both of them." [Annnd end scene.]

In other news, zoology professors are third rate horror movie scriptwriters.


Story Two:

'Flying Saucer' from the 1950s was actually clumsy Air Force test vehicle!!!

Declassified Air Force documents from 1956 reveal an attempt by the American government to channel its inner E.T. and build a flying saucer-like vehicle capable of reaching heights of 100,000ft and traveling upwards of 2,880mph.

The project was called "Project 1794," and was contracted to Avro, a Canadian firm, to build it. The end result was a flying saucer that hovered unstably three feet off the ground and never moved faster than 35mph.

Which is all a convenient cover-up for the truth that Canadians are aliens. This explains Vancouver.


Story Three:

'Supermice' are invading Western Europe with super sperm!!!

Researchers have discovered that the Eastern European house mouse has invaded Western Europe and impregnated Western European house mice in the least disturbing variation of raping and pillaging one can describe.

This has led to a hybrid mutant house mouse with super-high sperm counts.

They never explained this side to Mighty Mouse on the Saturday morning cartoons.

The Easter Bunny once ruled the ancient island kingdom of Minorca.

According to LiveScience, a skeleton reported to belong to an extinct species of giant rabbit was discovered in Minorca, a tiny island off the coast of Spain. Was this a relative of the Easter Bunny? My complete lack of background in science suggests it is.

If alive today, LiveScience reports this gigantic rabbit would be six times larger than today's rabbit served with a hollandaise sauce at the finest French restaurants. Scientists hypothesize it grew so large from a complete lack of predators on the island. This evolution also led to smaller ears, bad eyesight, and an inability to hop. That explains why the Easter Bunny walks upright and sometimes wears glasses.

How do scientists know from a collection of bones that the Easter Bunny's ancestors had bad eyesight and hearing? I don't know. Just as I don't know how the Easter Bunny makes Cadbury Eggs. It's all a mystery.





I know. You're wondering what this has to do with books, writing, education, learning--that sort of thing. Well, I like to think science is a field of study that book lovers enter if they know math. That and Peter Rabbit and Peter Cottontail were books about anthropomorphic rabbits. It's quite possible Peter Rabbit and Peter Cottontail summered in Minorca. I'm just putting it out there.