'Hobbit' film a death trap for animals, innocence.

From the Oh, Geez, This Is Depressing file comes news that a New Zealand farm used to house animals from in the upcoming Hobbit film was a sort of death camp for the four-legged family.

According to wranglers hired by the production company, three horses, six goats, six sheep, and a dozen chickens all died at the farm, largely from poor conditions.

The farm was known for its rolling hillside--a rolling hillside which included sinkholes, bluffs, and broken down fencing--none of which is good for horses frolicking at 30mph, but is entirely Orc-approved.

[Probably best to skip this next part if you don't want to know what the Eye of Sauron wrought on a bunch of innocent animals.]


One horse, named Doofus (real name), only maimed his leg in busted fencing. Another horse, Molly, met the same fate, ripping her leg open. Unlike Doofus, Molly's injuries are permanent though. Both Doofus and Molly got off easy compared to others--including a horse named Claire, who was found dead after she fell over a bluff, where her head was discovered submerged in a stream. (Really, I'm not trying to make you cry here. I promise.)

Another horse, Zeppelin, died of natural causes according to an autopsy report--but animal wrangler Johnny Smythe said he believes Zeppelin died of a digestive infection from a new type of feed. Smythe said Zeppelin's intestinal track was filled with a yellowish liquid, indicating infection. (I don't want to see you cry. I swear.)

Finally, a miniature horse named Rainbow--who was to be used in the movie as a horse for Hobbits--was euthanized. Why? According to wrangler Chris Langridge's account to the Associated Press, "When I arrived at work in the morning, the pony was still alive but his back was broken. He'd come off a bank at speed and crash-landed," Langridge said. "He was in a bad state." (Okay, you can cry now.)

And that doesn't even cover the goat and sheep deaths, or the dozen chickens who--even the production studio admits--were maimed to death by dogs that snuck on the farm and tore the birds apart.

Producers of The Hobbit claim that not all the deaths were from neglect or poor conditions. The state that some sheep only died from exposure to severely cold weather. Because a death via hypothermia is totally fair game when compared to plunging off a bluff and breaking your back.


[Okay, you can read again if you skipped the above portions.]

Producers claim they tried to improve conditions on the farm once wranglers alerted them to the poor conditions, and they refute that the total number of deaths the wranglers swear by. The movie studio also wants you to know that The Hobbit's director, Peter Jackson, bought three of the pigs that worked on the film and took them home. 

Because three pigs going home with man previously known to crack 400lbs always turns out well for Pork Chop.





Yes, the photo is of My Little Pony. Why? My Little Pony > dead horses.