While we're on the topic of authors and currency, Scotland isn't about to be outdone.

It flew under the radar when it was revealed a month and a half ago, but the Bank of Scotland is releasing its own new £10 note featuring a famous writer from their country--in this case, Sir Walter Scott. The thing is, many Bank of Scotland notes throughout the years actually already have had Scott on them. This is just a fancy new note.

Unlike England honoring the 200th anniversary of Jane Austen's death, Scotland apparently has no reason, no historical explanation for Scott making an appearance on their money. They just want him on it in abundance.

This isn't to say Scotland doesn't occasionally dig deep and honor other local writers. Mary Somerville, Norman MacCaig, Sorley MacLean, and Nan Shepherd have all been honored on a Scottish bank note. And at least half of those people were real writers, I swear.

Personally, I just think Sir Walter Scott's likeness on the £10 note looks strikingly like Joe Biden. If it's not Joe, get on it Scotland.

Scottish newspaper's TV listing has a different take on Donald Trump's inauguration.

The Scottish Sunday Herald still posts television listings in their newspaper for those folks who shun the guide on their television and trust only the news that's fit to print.

Previewing the highlights for the coming week--and instead of a standard, straightforward description of Donald Trump's inauguration--the Scottish Sunday Herald decided to detail the event in a slightly different tone:

The Sunday Herald TV Section wins today. pic.twitter.com/OanCZdznGJ

— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) January 15, 2017

"Sci-fi writers have dabbled often with alternative history stories — among the most common is the 'What If The Nazis Had Won The Second World War' setting — but this huge interactive virtual reality project, which will unfold on TV, in the press, and on Twitter over the next four years, sets out to build an ongoing alternative present," says the Herald.

As the orange human windsock himself might tweet, such a scenario sounds "Sad!"

Curling and Quidditch use a lot of words that sound the same.

In honor of the Winter Olympics, Mental Floss has a quiz to see if you can decipher whether a term is from a real sport on ice (curling) or a fake one in the air (quidditch).

'Wicky wack woo' is one such term.

Yeah, both curling and quidditch terms sound like you had a stroke or are half-lit. I blame Scotland's influence on both.

Fashionable Words: Rigmarole

[Sometimes words die out of fashion. But sometimes those words are good words, words with a certain appeal that can't be denied forever. Those words should be brought back into fashion, used frequently and used often. These are those words.]

Word:
Rigmarole (UK variant)
or
Rigamarole (US variant)


Definition:  noun and adjective
noun:
An overly involved piece of writing; an incoherent story.

adjective:
Overly protracted, elaborate, or diffuse; rambling.


Origin:
To detail the etymology of the British rigmarole, we're going to have to go through the usual rigmarole. Learning by doing--hooray!

So we head to the OED, experts in etymological rigmarole.

Rigmarole most likely comes from Ragman roll, which in turn is based off an old game called Ragman played in the 14th century. Ragman involved players grabbing on strings to pull out rolls which involved long, detailed descriptions of characters. And, yeah...that's about it. It's like competitive reading with a ball of yarn. You try keeping entertained in a time of plague.

King Edward I gets to hammerin'.

Yet, the proper noun Ragman potentially connects to the name of a statute of the same name by King Edward I in 1276, which provided for justices to be appointed to reform law and hear about local corruption the previous 25 years.

(In case you're trying to keep your medieval English monarchs straight, Edward I was also known as Longshanks and the Hammer of the Scots, a charming nickname that belies the fact the Scots defeated Edward's attempt to overtake them. Edward really should have been known as the Hammer of the Welsh. He conquered Wales by 1283.)

Samuel Pegge even loved
looking old.

Ragman and Ragman's Roll's association with all things long-winded (like this etymology) slowly evolved into the modern rigmarole, which has its first known written appearance circa 1736 in Samuel Pegge's An Alphabet of Kenticisms. Pegge was an antiquary--a fashionable man of leisure and lover of old stuff--as well as a wannabe historian of language quirks in Derbyshire, England, which explains rigmarole's inclusion. Did he also hoard antiques and hold weekend yard sales? Sure, let's assume so.






Most obscure UrbanDictionary.com definitions of rigamarole:
1. An annoying series of seemingly unnecessary steps that causes a commotion and results in confusion, irritation and resentment by the people who inevitably have to do all the extra work to fix something they didn't break.

3. Intense partying...
Perhaps involving cocaine, extasy, pcp, lots of booze, a joint or two, some lsd, mushrooms...etc.
Usually two/three day benders. The "rigamarole" intensifies as the party continues. Usually involves all the strange happenings as you continue to hallucinate and give 'er...


Used in a sentence:
1. Quit all this rigmarole and get to your point!


Why you should use rigmarole in your daily life:
It makes you sound like an 85-year old British grandmother, and who doesn't love 85-year old British grandmothers?


Word Awesomeness Scale (1-to-5):
Three.

Anything involving string could be slightly more exotic.

Robin Thicke's 'Blurred Lines' banned by Edinburgh University's student union.

The song is not allowed to be played in any student union building on the university's campus after the organization said the song's lyrics fall under the banner of the Edinburgh University Students' Association 'End Rape Culture and Lad Banter on Campus' policy.

But can they also ban Robin Thicke's choice in fashion?

Fashionable Words: Kerfuffle

[Sometimes words die out of fashion. But sometimes those words are good words, words with a certain appeal that can't be denied forever. Those words should be brought back into fashion, used frequently and used often. These are those words.]

Word:
Kerfuffle


Definition:   noun
A commotion, disturbance, or fuss.


Origin:
Depends on which spelling you like with your kerfuffle.

According to the OED, kerfuffle was born in 1946 in That Summer, and other stories, a book by New Zealand's own Frank Sargeson. Sargeson only gets credit for the standard spelling in use today though, so tough shakes, Frank.

The original Scottish curfuffle (also known as gefuffle, because Scots love words that sound like you're four sheets to the wind) came from poet George Bruce in 1813, specifically from this jaunty little line:

An' Jeanie's kirtle, aye sae neat, Gat there a sad carfuffle.

It's even more fun when you try to say it like Ewan MacGregor in Trainspotting!

Sir David Lyndsay looking to start trouble.

Kerfuffle/curfuffle both have fuffle at their roots--meaning 'to throw into disorder, to jerk about'--which takes our etymology train back to 1536, when Scottish poet and diplomat Sir David Lyndsay first used the fuffle in his work Answer to Kingis Flyting.
[Not for nothing side story: Lyndsay rose through the ranks of Scottish court under James V (best known as Mary, Queen of Scots' dad). Yet for a man who was Scotland's point man on many international diplomatic events, there's no knowledge of Lyndsay's youth, education, upbringing, or even when he officially died. Is Lyndsay still alive today? Sure, why the hell not. Unsubstantiated, obscure, historical rumors--only on The Toolbox!]



The prefix cur- most likely comes from the Gaelic car (twist or turn about). Meanwhile, the prefix ker- is possibly influenced by cur-, so says the OED, but is really just an onomatopoeic formation to create the sound of something. (Think: "Kersplash!") For reasons unknown, the OED says ker- is generally considered vulgar, but doesn't explain.

There you go--I just offended you, and you didn't even realize it.


Most obscure UrbanDictionary.com definitions of kerfuffle:

4.  Basically used by Lou Reed from Little Britain. It means a state, a problem or a hassle.

8.  A cough that makes you fart.

10.  A very very rare sighting of a beaver-like animal with a mullet...it was seen in the backwoods of southern Kentucky...it had very large buck teeth and the people were not sure if it was a hillbilly that had moved into the wild or a very large beaver with a mullet.


Used in a sentence:
1.  Martha's new fruit punch recipe caused quite a kerfuffle at the church social once everyone found out it was made with seven kinds of liquor.


Word Awesomeness Scale (1 to 5):
Four.

Sounds less threatening than it actually is.

Scottish man dies, killing off an English dialect in the process.

Bobby Hogg isn't the name of a befuddled criminal mastermind from The Dukes of Hazard. Close, but no.

Instead, Bobby Hogg was an elderly Scottish gentleman of 92 years who was the last known speaker of a dialect of English called Cromarty. And being the last known speaker means two things die when you do--in this case, Mr. Hogg and the dialect of Cromarty.

According to the Associated Press, the dialect requires us fellow English speakers to pay attention closely.

Example? "Hiv thoo a roosky sazpence i thi pooch?" is Cromarty for "Can you lend me some money?"

Anyone who has visited Scotland now realizes the whole region speaks in the Cromarty dialect, so I don't know what the fuss is about. Linguists just need a Netflix account. I'm pretty certain everyone spoke Cromarty in Trainspotting.


photo: AP

Fashionable Words: Hullabaloo

[Sometimes words die out of fashion. But sometimes those words are good words, words with a certain appeal that can't be denied forever. Those words should be brought back into fashion, used frequently and used often. These are those words.]

Word:
Hullabaloo

Definition:   noun
1. A clamorous noise or disturbance.

2. An uproar, a fuss.

Origin:
Depends how you want to define your origins.

The Oxford English Dictionary claims hallabaloo as a word solely originating in England, most likely around 1762--and they'll create a hullabaloo if you disagree with them. The OED claims it's an interjection of hallo and the Scottish baloo (meaning lullaby).

If a word for lullaby doesn't make much sense for a hullabaloo, well, Wiktionary sides with you. Instead they claim the term was potentially introduced to England around this same time period from India (hooray, imperialism!) from the word hullabol, which is an Indian English descriptive term for noisy public demonstrations.

Either way, the word derives from Mother England's love to invade the world, be it Scotland or India.

Most obscure Urbandictionary.com definitions for hullabaloo:
2. The first word of the phrase "hullabaloo caneck caneck" which is the start of the Texas A&M University War Hymn; represents the sound a cannon ball makes as it rolls down the barrel of the cannon while being loaded.

7. A word that has deep origins within the state of Rl. This word is used by a lot of famous swimmers, including Olympian Michael Phelps. The maximum usage of this word is once every six months. If you use this word more than once every six months, extreme screeching and sudden outbursts of high pitched noises have been reported.

Used in a sentence:
1. With all of the hullabaloo, it was hard to recognize that actual legislation was passed.

2. Ramon's announcement that he was pregnant caused quite a hullabaloo.

Word Awesomeness Scale (1 to 5):
Three. You need to be a part of the hullabaloo before you use hullabaloo.

98-year-old message in a bottle found.

Please hold while we partake in this musical interlude:




What we take away from this is that it sucked The Police broke up. They make R.E.M. look like amateur hour at Kowloon's on Rt. 1 in Saugus.

What we take away from this #2: Sting pulls off the bow-tie look fairly well.

What we take away from this #3: A Scottish fisherman found a message in a bottle recently, the oldest ever found on record. It's from 1914, when the Scottish government released 1,890 bottles in an effort to understand undercurrents in the seas off Scotland. The letter inside asks the finder to tell the government where you found it, and offers a reward of a sixpence.

The sixpence was rendered obsolete in 1971.