If alive today, Emily Dickinson would've been a homeowner on HGTV.

Lover of a good garden.

"I just love to entertain," Emily Dickinson would say, head tilted back, hand to chest, a lilt in her voice. "Having guests by, a great meal, some wine while sitting in the garden--it's what I love."

Emily Dickinson was born in the wrong century for HGTV fame though, otherwise she'd be a regular at Pier One and Crate and Barrel. And while not a socialite on the scene in her day, guests often visited Dickinson's family home in Amherst, MA, where an extensive garden once covered 14-acres. Now, the Emily Dickinson Homestead, in conjunction with archaeologists from the University of Massachusetts, are working to recreate the grounds at the reclusive writer's home as they were in the mid-19th century.

Already in the works is the rebuilding of a glass conservatory that once existed at the home. According to NPR, archaeologists are digging for old plant stems and seed remnants in order to have a concrete idea of what sort of flowers and vegetables existed on the property. The hope is that in a year's time visitors to the museum can feel as if they've been transported to a different era that inspired the poet.

"[V]isitors may be able to roam among varieties of asparagus, corn and beans that made up the original Dickinson vegetable garden," they say.

And if Dickinson was on the ball, this would all come full circle and she'd make a bean and corn salsa over some roasted asparagus for her guests while entertaining.

Bowdoin College has the best college food! (Eh?)

Fun Fact: Moody looking polar bears don't exist in Maine.

I'm not even certain what this means. How is this judged? Are Michelin Stars assigned? I don't dine at any college establishment unless two Michelin stars are given. WHERE IS THE AMBIANCE, STANFORD??

The Princeton Review claims that little itty-bitty Bowdoin College in rural Maine has the best campus food for any university. Bowdoin has a strangely strict acceptance rate for students, too, and apparently has a similar standard for food. Because when you're in the middle of nowhere, nothing woos the intellectual elite quite like quality dinners and an abundance of moose.

Number two on the list? UMass Amherst.

Food is apparently so wretched in New England that college meals tastes like French cuisine. Très chic!

Lawsuit claims teaching assistants at Amherst College were encouraged to sleep with undergrads.

There are a few things I think we all associate with Amherst, Massachusetts. Emily Dickinson, people speaking Spanish, and pure, carnal, sexual heat. And if you can picture all three of those at once, you're not only mildly disturbed, but you're envisioning a seemingly average day in the rural hinterlands of western New England.

Dimaris Barrios-Beltran is a former lecturer for Amherst College. 'Former' because she was recently let go from her position in the Spanish department after, she alleges, refusing to give into a culture of potential sex with undergraduate students to make the department look more appealing. This differs from your average English department, where wallowing in poetry while wearing Birkenstocks is par for the course. Subtle difference in cultures, to be sure.

According to the Washington Post, department supervisor Victoria Maillo is described in the suit as looking online for "pretty faces" to hire as teaching assistants in hopes of attracting more students to study Spanish.

As the Post explains:


"Early in 2013, Barrios-Beltran’s teaching assistant called her in tears, according to the lawsuit, saying that Maillo was treating her like a prostitute. The teaching assistant claimed that Maillo was angry that she was dating a student at the University of Massachusetts and told her and other teaching assistants to go to parties with students and sleep with them to encourage them to take Spanish. Barrios-Beltran claims that in frustration, the teaching assistant asked Maillo if she wanted her to sleep with a different guy every night like another teaching assistant was doing, and the teaching assistant told Barrios-Beltran that Maillo responded, 'that is what I brought you here for.'"


Amherst College claims they let Barrios-Beltran go solely because of declining enrollments. Or, if you're paying attention to this story, for exactly the same reason why Maillo is alleged to have been trying to counteract while channeling her inner madam.

In the end, both women no longer work for Amherst College. English majors? Still wallowing in poetry.

UConn student REALLY wants his mac and cheese

UConn freshman student, Luke Gatti, had a bad night earlier this week.

Gatti went to the school's food court on the prowl for some mac and cheese. Sure, he was allegedly carrying an open container of beer with him at the time. Small detail. Maybe he was parched. Regardless, the food court manager told (the probably intoxicated) Gatti that he wasn't allowed to have the beer and refused him service.

This didn't sit well with Gatti, who questioned why in America he can't have a beer in the building. If you listen closely, you can almost hear 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic' swell up behind him--and the theatrics really go into overdrive.

Gatti drops gay slurs again and again, and repeatedly has one demand: "Just give me some (expletive) bacon-jalapeno mac and cheese."

Not just any mac and cheese, mind you. He wants the bacon-jalapeno mac and cheese--which either sounds fantastically delicious or an abomination and crime against humanity.

The video above goes for roughly 6:15 with verbal jousting before Gatti decides to up the action by shoving the food court manager.

Gatti apparently never watched much WWE action growing up and didn't realize he could be tag-teamed, because another food court employee comes up from behind and performs an expertly applied full nelson, dropping Gatti to the ground and pinning him until police arrive.

Just before the video ends, Gatti offers one last pleasantry--spitting at the food court manager as he's led out to a waiting police car.

The lesson here?

UConn must make an amazing mac and cheese.




According to court documents, Gatti was enrolled at UMass last year and arrested twice on disorderly conduct charges. I assume UMass must have some fantastic culinary options in their food court as well.

Oh, and let's not forget that UConn is selling roasted crickets from their food truck. The real question here? Do they serve a cricket mac and cheese?