The 2015 National Book Awards were announced, and a great high-five to you if you read any of the winners already.

Book award season has generally passed, except for a few notable honors--like the National Book Awards, which were handed out last night.

Given out in only four categories (fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and young people's literature), over a thousand submissions are looked over every year. This means the next time you go to Barnes & Noble, you'll see a little table in a corner with these four books stacked, a little green sign that says "National Book Award Winners," and each book will have a little circular sticker-ma-bob on it saying it's an award winner.

Then you know you can buy it, stick it on a shelf at home, and look fantastically intelligent to friends and strangers alike. Ta-dah!

The winners are:

fiction:

Adam Johnson, Fortune Smile: Stories

Johnson, as the book cover so proudly proclaims, also won a Pulitzer for his previous book, The Orphan Master's Son.

Not necessarily a bestselling name, Johnson is a winner of more and more of the big literary awards--and that's how this process works. Win one, and the domino effect occurs. Critics coo, you win awards and prizes like you're on a game show, and middle America thinks you're Adam Johnson, the store manager at the local A&P.

nonfiction:

Ta-Nehisi Coates, Between the World and Me

Coates has worked for just about every major news publication in the United States. Time, The Washington Post, The New York Times, and The Atlantic have all had work by Coates published.

And he just turned 40. I hope to get published in my own diary by the time I'm 40.

poetry:

Robin Coste Lewis, Voyage of the Sable Venus

For someone with a resume that covers a wall of text of awards,
this is Lewis's poetry debut.

Kind of makes you wish you didn't binge watch The Walking Dead all last weekend and do something with your life, huh?

young people's literature:

Neal Shusterman, Challenger Deep

When did Young Adult books become Young People? Did I miss something? Was there a press release about this at some point?

I don't read much Young People's books, so let's all assume Challenger Deep is about a boy tied to a string deep in the Marianas Trench. Sounds intriguing to me.

Famous Writers Shirtless: James Frey

A fleeting internet meme happened of writers in underpants--but it passed too quickly to be truly appreciated.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today: James Frey

The shaved head and creepy bedroom vibe evoke Edward Norton in American History X.

Imagine crawling out of bed at 3am to use the bathroom and jamming your thigh against the bed's exposed corner. That's a lawsuit.

Gatorade bottle? You always want to hydrate while shirtless.

Who has electrical outlets halfway up their bedroom wall? Is Frey in Romania? What's going on here?




Photo: Michael Foley, via RandomHouse

In a surprise to no one, Palestinian and Israeli textbooks offer differing stories to students.

The sun rises in the east. Ryan Gosling is dreamy to women everywhere. Israelis and Palestinians aren't fans of one another. All of these are basic facts of life.

Which is why it's no surprise a recent study reports Palestinian and Israeli textbooks aren't always completely truthful or fair when recounting history between the two.

According to the New York Times, Hamas has modified Palestinian textbooks, and are more egregious--refusing to recognize modern Israel, ignoring the Oslo Peace Accord signed by Palestinian and Israeli leaders in the 1990s, describing the Jewish Torah and Talmund as "fabricated," and labeling Zionism as a racist movement whose aim is to drive all Arabs out of the Middle East.

Israel isn't entirely truthful either. The same study suggests their textbooks are equally culpable for portraying Palestine as an enemy, using misinformed historical maps, and lacking facts about Palestinian religion, culture, and daily life.

The result is that a new generation of students in Israel and Palestine will grow up with misinformed, misguided, and misled beliefs about the other side.

But, hey, at least Ryan Gosling is gorgeous, right?

Famous Writers Arrested: James Frey

Much like the Famous Writers Shirtless posts, here we'll occasionally dive into mugshots of the criminally-inclined writers who found themselves in the big house.

Mugshots? Yes, please.

Today:  James Frey

James Frey loved living in the wonderful world of Xanadu when he made up a wannabe life in his 'memoir' A Million Little Pieces.

What's not Xanadu? Sitting in the cooler while the po-po takes pictures of your mug for drunk driving. James Frey was popped back in 1988 for hitting the sauce and weaving in traffic.

Was Frey attacked with a shrimp fork? No. That'd be the chickenpox, which the local sheriff's office wanted nothing to do with when they released him on bond and asked he vacate their facility.

Chickenpox! A boozer's best friend!

World's fastest man, Usain Bolt, Instagramed himself reading his autobiography.

Because it's good to learn about yourself.

Author insults Thai king, so the editor gets 10-year jail sentence.

A very subtle hat you've got there.

Bad news if you're looking to publish that short story you've been shopping around about a murderous ghost. The Thai king might put you in jail if he doesn't approve.

Jakrapob Penkair wrote two small, fictional stories for a now-defunct Thai magazine, in which editor Somyot Pruksakasemsuk oversaw its publication. According to the New York Times, one tale was about a murderous family that plots to kill millions in an effort to maintain power and control. The second tale tells the story of a murderous ghost that plots massacres. In other words, light reading.

Neither story mentions the monarchy or the king by name. Regardless, Penkair fled the country for Cambodia once things became hot. Pruksakasemsuk stayed and fought the law, arguing the law violated a right to free expression.

The court disagreed, claiming the Thai king deserved "special protection" because he is the "center of the nation," and insulting the king "wounds the feelings of Thais who respect and worship the king."

Pruksakasemsuk was sentenced to ten years in jail.

And to think the crap Shakespeare got away with regarding ghosts and kings.



That smiling casual man of leisure wearing the understated hat is Thai king Bhumibol Adulyadej--also known as a fine lover of fictional short stories.

Happy Election Day: Lewis Black and Nutella

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Stephenie Meyer hasn't read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'...thinks fan fiction is sad.

Despite that Fifty Shades of Grey was born as fan fiction in honor of Twilight, Twilight's creator Stephenie Meyer told Access Hollywood that she hasn't read EL James's BDSM saga.

"No, it's really not my kind of book--not my thing," Meyer told the TV show, subtly letting you know not to invite her to your next sex toy party. "But, you know, anytime somebody is out there being creative, that's great," she added like a glad-handing politician.

If you think Meyer doesn't appreciate that a fan of her poorly written books can create their own poorly written fiction, too--well, uh, you'd be right.

"I mean, I have read some fan fiction years ago and I found it really, like, kind of cool," Meyer said, mastering the backhanded compliment. "These people had these stories. I felt it was a little bit sad that they were doing them in a way where [the stories] weren't theirs, but I feel like all those people, they're practicing and they're going to write their book, it's going to come out of them eventually." After a slight pause, Meyer added, "Because they're writers."

Right on, Meyer! These people and their stories that aren't really their own creation. I mean, vampires? No one has ever written about these creatures of the night before--but you blazed a trail there and created blood sucking characters out of the depths of your imagination. And werewolves! Can't forget the werewolf angle! Men who turn into gigantic wolves? You could have had these guys turn into gigantic pigs or llamas, but you said, "No, no--I'm going completely original here: wolves." I'm not sure there has ever been a story like that in history. Not until you came up with such originality, Meyer!

And that thing you did with one woman being in love with two men--I'm not sure such a romantic scenario has ever been portrayed in entertainment history. What do we even call it? Three sides to romance--a sexy triangle? A hubba-hubba triangle? Maybe a love triangle?

Hey! A love triangle! That's fresh. Love triangle. Better trademark that before some other jamoke fan copies you.





photo: WireImage, via EW.com

Website doesn't know how it feels about this whole writing thing...

...but it'll let you know once it reads your stuff.

Gothamist.com, a website aimed largely at 20 and 30-something New York City-ites with a readership of over a million, has decided it might, maybe, possibly, potentially like to publish long-form non-fiction. It's not sure what kind of long-form non-fiction. Just that it meets the criteria of being both:

1.) Long-form.

2.) Non-fiction.

Really. That's about it. They're as awkward about this as a Sadie Hawkins Dance, and only half as sexy. According to Gothamist, they want the article to "be something relevant to our audience" with a "shelf-life of over a week" that's adaptable to having "photos or infographics" on it. Maybe. Only if it works. If it sounds good.

Your guess is as good as mine. It's 20/30-something New Yorkers. Write about something Woody Allen-esque, about subways and Brooklyn and young love. About skyscrapers and rent prices and making it in the big city.

In other words, pretend your article is a Sophia Coppola film with fewer cigarette references.