Minor league hockey team has a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' promotion, including jerseys. Naturally.

If ever there was a chance for synergy between sports, books, and movies--it would be the marriage of Fifty Shades of Grey and a minor league hockey team's jerseys. Because when you think shirt-ripping romance novels, you think sweaty, minor-league hockey players who wear a dental plate.

The Bakersfield (CA) Condors of hockey's minor league ECHL are wearing special edition jerseys in honor of the racy book's movie release on February 13th--jerseys that are, well, in fifty shades of gray. Not stopping there, the jerseys have a mock tie, handcuffs, and a face mask all superimposed upon the shirt.

This isn't all just for a movie release though, as there is a charitable angle. Per the Condor's PR release:

- When the Condors score their first goal of the game, fans are invited to throw NEW undergarments (bras, underwear, t-shirts, socks, boxers, diapers, etc.) on the ice to be collected by Dream Builders and donated to local charities.

Keyword, folks: NEW.

No one wants your four-year old Captain America Underoos.

'Fifty Shades of Grey' teaser poster is a tease.

Fifty Shades of Grey is due to become a movie on Valentine's Day--which means there's plenty of time to tease the book adaptation to the soccer mom masses, which leads us to the teaser movie poster.

Apparently, the character Anastasia is portrayed, who has a notorious habit of biting her lip.

This would only be known if you have read the books (I have not) or you have a tendency for documenting lip-biting practices (I have not).

But at least she has a second-rate lip bite going on!

In other news, Big Brother knows you're reading 'Mein Kampf' and/or are cheap.

Having a jones for failed Austrian watercolorists with bad mustaches?

Be careful what sort of books you're downloading to your eReader because, as The Guardian notes, most have a terms of service that document what you're reading, free or not.

Fascist mass-murderers memoirs aren't the only thing they track. They track your penchant for Fifty Shades of Grey, too.

Admittedly, you like some weird stuff.

'Fifty Shades of Grey' actor, Charlie Hunnam, quits movie adaptation before filming even starts.

Hunnam was supposed to play the book's kinky, sadomasochistic central character, Christian Grey, but according to reports he dropped out to focus on Son of Anarchy, the television show he's been a part of for six seasons.

Other movie insiders hint it has nothing to do with the television show. The Hollywood Reporter suggests Hunnam got cold feet over taking on such a well-known character adored by tens of millions of soccer moms worldwide.

Yeah. It's tough being looked at as beefcake. Story of my life.

A book about underpants was the most complained about library book in 2012.

The Captain Underpants series (with peppy titles such as The Terrifying Return of Tippy Tinkletrousers and the timeless Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers) outnumbered all other book titles in requests to be removed from library shelves, according to the American Library Association.

The children's books snatched the top spot, surpassing the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, which came in fourth place.

Because when it comes to the match-up between sadomasochistic sex and Fruit of the Looms, Americans fear sensible cotton undies more.

'Fifty Shades of Grey' now wrapped in plastic and hidden from minors in Brazilian bookstores.

Judge Raphael Queiroz Campos handed down the censor ruling after he saw a group of teenagers thumbing through the books at a local store.

Now Brazilian teenagers will never find out about sex. Ever.

'Fifty Shades of Grey' screenwriter says movie adaptation will probably receive NC-17 rating.

Kelly Marcel, screenwriter for the upcoming movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey says the movie most likely will garner an NC-17 rating because her script contains "a lot of sex" and "...It will be raunchy. We are 100% going there."

Marcel then added, apparently with a straight face, that she's adapting what she feels is an old-fashioned love story.

Ahh, those old-fashioned love stories that are 100% raunchy. Reminds me of Casablanca when Humphrey Bogart gets out the whips and chains and ties Ingrid Bergman down onto the bed.

No--wait--I have that wrong.

Stephenie Meyer hasn't read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'...thinks fan fiction is sad.

Despite that Fifty Shades of Grey was born as fan fiction in honor of Twilight, Twilight's creator Stephenie Meyer told Access Hollywood that she hasn't read EL James's BDSM saga.

"No, it's really not my kind of book--not my thing," Meyer told the TV show, subtly letting you know not to invite her to your next sex toy party. "But, you know, anytime somebody is out there being creative, that's great," she added like a glad-handing politician.

If you think Meyer doesn't appreciate that a fan of her poorly written books can create their own poorly written fiction, too--well, uh, you'd be right.

"I mean, I have read some fan fiction years ago and I found it really, like, kind of cool," Meyer said, mastering the backhanded compliment. "These people had these stories. I felt it was a little bit sad that they were doing them in a way where [the stories] weren't theirs, but I feel like all those people, they're practicing and they're going to write their book, it's going to come out of them eventually." After a slight pause, Meyer added, "Because they're writers."

Right on, Meyer! These people and their stories that aren't really their own creation. I mean, vampires? No one has ever written about these creatures of the night before--but you blazed a trail there and created blood sucking characters out of the depths of your imagination. And werewolves! Can't forget the werewolf angle! Men who turn into gigantic wolves? You could have had these guys turn into gigantic pigs or llamas, but you said, "No, no--I'm going completely original here: wolves." I'm not sure there has ever been a story like that in history. Not until you came up with such originality, Meyer!

And that thing you did with one woman being in love with two men--I'm not sure such a romantic scenario has ever been portrayed in entertainment history. What do we even call it? Three sides to romance--a sexy triangle? A hubba-hubba triangle? Maybe a love triangle?

Hey! A love triangle! That's fresh. Love triangle. Better trademark that before some other jamoke fan copies you.





photo: WireImage, via EW.com

Thousands line up for J.K. Rowling's lone U.S. appearance to support latest book.

About 2,000 people gathered for J.K. Rowling's lone U.S. appearance in support of her latest book, The Casual Vacancy. Held at Lincoln Center in New York City, everyone received a copy of the book with their ticket, and Rowling signed each copy.

According to NPR, the funniest moment of the night belonged to Rowling when asked what the difference was between her book and Fifty Shades of Grey. People have sex in her book, Rowling told the audience, but no one actually enjoys it.

So there you have it. The Casual Vacancy is a book about your sex life.




photo: AP

'50 Shades of Grey' can be traded in for a new book.

Good news if you're done abusing your copy of 50 Shades of Grey.

Send your copy to publisher O/R Books, and if you're one of the first fifty to do so they'll send you back a copy of their spoof novel 50 Shades of Louisa May.

And, yes, the Louisa May in question is Louisa May Alcott, thus giving you all the titillation of 50 Shades of Grey, but now in a bonnet.




photo: Penguin Books / O/R Books

British charity proposes '50 Shades of Grey' book burning.

The charity focuses on domestic violence, and sees '50 Shades' as promoting violence against women. They've scheduled a book burning for November 5th.

November 5th is also Guy Fawkes Day in Britain, in which effigies of Fawkes are burned throughout the region. This means everyone will see a bonfire raging on November 5th and assume it's Guy Fawkes-related and not understand the flames are powered from the scorching-hot page-turning '50 Shades' action.

Fifty Shades of Grey author releases album of music that inspired her to write the book.

According to an interview, author E.L. Jmaes describes it as "music to f--- to."

This includes classical pieces by Chopin, Rachmaninoff, and Debussy.

In case you're wondering, this is the first time in human history Chopin, Rachmaninoff, and Debussy have ever been considered music to f--- to.




photo: The Telegraph