This Week in Science!!!

Here's the occasional wrap-up of anything noteworthy in the world of science.

Starting off with:  .


story one:  Power! Merciless power!!!

You've been dominated!

There's a reason that marketers anthropomorphize inanimate objects, and it's not just because you're easily entertained by bright-eyed cartoon characters.

A study out of Johns Hopkins University's Carey Business School suggests that people who are materialists--those who believe they find happiness in the ownership of "stuff"--view anthropomorphic products as servants instead of partners. It's like the worst marriage ever on a very special episode of Dr. Phil.

It's not just cartoon advertisements, as it can also just be an allusion to a brand, like retail giant Lowe's, who's tagline is "Let's Build Something Together." Materialists view that as more along the lines of, "Bow down and build me a castle, Lowe's!"

Associate Professor Hyeongmin Kim, who led the study, detailed the truck load of crazy at hand here. "[D]ifferent consumers respond differently to the signals," said Kim in an interview. "When materialists encounter an anthropomorphized servant brand, they sense an opportunity to fulfill their need to dominate something. They would rather dominate other people, but socially that's not an easy thing to accomplish. So, for this type of consumer, the next best thing is to dominate a servant brand."

You hear that, Michelin Man? Your roly-poly charm and huggable ways won't work on everyone!

No wonder he's smiling.

story two:  More bad news for materialists!!!

It's a bad week for wealthy people who want to make it rain in a department store. The results of six studies covering 4,600 people showed that while roughly half the participants valued time and half valued money, those who valued time tend to share one characteristic much more in abundance than those who favor a fattened bank account.

They're just plain happier.

According to research from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (my bible), it didn't matter what the gender or income level was (outside of poverty, that is--because simply surviving might skew how you truly feel), the individual who valued the simple ability to have personal time was just a happier individual. And they probably enjoy chamomile tea and cowl-neck sweaters, too, I assume.

There's no explanation which side of the debate you fall on if you want to spend your personal time buying a clock in the shape of a dollar bill though. (Think about it.)













story three:  Astronauts kind of suck at gardening!!!

He just drowned his potatoes! Woo!!

The International Space Station (ISS) is currently whizzing around the Earth with three astronauts and hoards of plants on board. It's all part of the loosely-titled "Veggie Project" to observe a miniature garden growing in space, which is like any garden on Earth, just weightless.

One small problem has arisen though--and you'll be shocked, stunned, and blown away by the developing news--but astronauts and engineers don't have green thumbs. Please, try to stifle your gasps. I know--I know. My worldview has been altered, too.

Scott Kelly, an astronaut currently on the ISS, recently reported that a collection of zinnias growing on board looked like they were dead or dying, potentially from mold. After some investigating (because it's NASA, so everything obvious involves intense investigating), it turns out that NASA was ordering the zinnias to be watered too much. In essence, they were drowning the zinnias. Drowning in space. Think about that. So NASA decided to cut back. Shockingly, the surviving zinnias have responded favorably.

And we're supposed to believe Matt Damon knew how to properly water potatoes on Mars.




story four:  Mysterious space balls land in Vietnam!!!

Possibly General Vo's reaction at meeting our alien overlords.

You know when something lands from outer space, it's safe, right? The government never lies!

"Before and after these objects were discovered, the Vietnamese Army was not conducting any military activity in the region," Lieutenant General Vo Van Tuan, the Vietnamese Army spokesman, told AFP news source.

Well, thanks for the update on your day-to-day operations. Sounds like a Vietnamese version of Roswell, doesn't it? Stop the straw man explanation, General Vo! Why the cover-up?! 

Three metallic balls plummeted down upon Vietnam, with the heaviest weighing 100 pounds. The Ministry of Defense says that they have no idea what the balls are or what sort of origin they hold, but that they aren't dangerous--or so we're told.

That's right. When mysterious, unidentifiable space orbs land from sky, I think we all know it's safe. Hell, bring the kids! Sounds like a field trip. C'mon, boys and girls!