Florida governor suggests Yale University should leave Connecticut for--yes--Florida.

Gov. Scott just daydreamed of Yale.

First:  It's Florida.

Second:  It's a politician.

Third:  It's Yale, so we shouldn't really care.

Florida governor--and all around good time to have a laugh at--Rick Scott decided to offer a press release in the wake of news that the state of Connecticut is debating whether to tax the profits on Yale's $26 billion endowment, which gained a $2.6 billion return last year.

Obviously, a 315-year old university long established in one spot in this country might pick up and move on a whim--so you have to strike while there's momentum, Rick Scott!

"With news that the Connecticut Legislature wants to unfairly tax one of the nation’s most renowned universities to deal with the state’s budget shortfall, it is clear that all businesses in Connecticut, including Yale, should look to move to Florida," said a press release from Scott's office.

Exactly. I mean, what's holding Oxford back while we're at it? England? Time to pick up and head to Florida, too. But as long as it's ALL Connecticut businesses the governor wants, so ESPN can lead the caravan out of Bristol and pick up Yale on the way down.

What else, Governor?

"We would welcome a world-renowned university like Yale to our state and I can commit that we will not raise taxes on their endowment. This would add yet another great university to our state," he continued.

Oh, you could nearly squeeze his cheeks, he's so adorable with his innocence! There's really only one university worth noting in Florida, that being the University of Miami, which is what Scott must be referencing. After that you're playing with alchemy if you venture to Florida State or the University of Florida, as there's more silver than gold there.

Case in point, as the New York Post notes, Florida State ranked number three on Playboy's best party schools.

It's exactly like Yale if Yale forgot the whole 'education' angle.

Now you, too, can sleep like a villain in a sci-fi movie.

The average college student doesn't sleep nearly enough, as reports show the studying masses rest to a tune of 6-to-6.9 hours a night, which single-handedly explains the magical allure of Monster energy drinks. Remember, just because it looks and tastes like antifreeze doesn't mean it's a bottle of Prestone.

The school you attend also likely plays a factor into your sleep cycles. Take the University of Miami. According to the website Niche, The U ranks amongst the nation's highest for attractive male students, female students, and party culture. That's subtly saying that no one has been asleep for more than 15 minutes at the University of Miami since 1980.

Miami's club culture, beaches, and penchant for rock-hard abs and honey-kissed skin means The U's student body is dragging, which explains how $9,000 sleep pods now exist on its campus. Do they look like something from a bad 1960's Japanese sci-fi movie? Why, yes! Yes they do:

Claustrophobia included at no extra charge.

A New York company called MetroNaps developed the pods, which wrap the user behind a visor and treats them to an aural experience of ambient noise for 20 minutes, allowing one to fall into a brief nap before cajoling them awake through subtle noises. Subtle noises like the club beats thumping from down the street, I assume.

The University of Miami has placed the pods--along with a massage chair, too, for pod-phobic people apparently--on campus for students to use free of charge. Nightmares not included.




Photo: MetroNaps