Fashionable Words: Codger

[Sometimes words die out of fashion. But sometimes those words are good words, words with a certain appeal that can't be denied forever. Those words should be brought back into fashion, used frequently and used often. These are those words.]


Word:

codger


Definition:  noun

A typically elderly man who is eccentric or strange in a humorous way.


Origin:

Despite the old man angle, this has nothing to do with anyone named Roger or that delicious fish we all love, cod.

Not a codger cod, but a tasty cod.

The best words are the ones that confuse the experts in a variety of ways. The beauty of a word like codger is that it not only suggests eccentric behavior, but it's so eccentric as a word that dictionaries and etymologists are lost. Nothing like quality synergy, I tell ya!

Google will tell you codger is derogatory, an insult to elderly men said by some misanthropic millennial. Yet, Dictionary.com suggests codger is said with affection, like when you aww-shucks your old uncle Ken (a codger) at his surprise 90th birthday party. The Free Dictionary? It defines codger as both offensive and loving. Indeed, all dictionaries waffle between both extremes when offering a definition. Kindergartners at an ice cream stand are more decisive.

Kind of like the old man in 'Up' was a codger.

What experts agree on is that codger first came into use by the mid-1700s as an evolution of the obsolete word cadger. A cadger was someone who begged or was a peddler, based off the verb to cadge. It suggests a more romantic time for homelessness or being destitute, all while channeling the best of Charles Dickens before Dickens ever got around to making poverty look quaint. Oliver Twist? Totally grew up to be a codger.

Oliver Twist is a codger waitin' to happen!

As for cadge/cadger--etymologists have no idea where it came from. Some suggest the Middle English caggen, meaning "to tie," but how tying something came to mean begging is beyond understanding.

At least we can envision Granddad being eccentric like some pre-Victorian era beggar.


Most obscure UrbanDictionary.com definition of 'codger':
(verbatim)

3.)  Usually following the word "old"; 
a coffin dodger, an old person who moans about their arthritis. They have little hair on their head, but compensate by tufts sprouting from their ears and noses (male) chins and top lips (female). 
They dispise anything that anyone under 30 may do. 
Cant manage to drive more than 30mph, and only drive on Sundays.

Codgers only drive like this in shopping plaza parking lots.

Used in a sentence:

The flaky codger taught the kids in the alley how he used to play dice back in the day.


Why you should use 'codger' in your everyday life:

How often can you offend someone in a pleasant way?


Word Awesomeness Scale (1-to-5):

Two

After all, alluding that Gramps is also a beggar and/or a peddler is a bit low.

This Week in Science!!!

Here's the occasional wrap-up of anything noteworthy in the world of science.

Starting off with the Dr. Pigeon, M.D:


story one:

Today: radiologist pigeons. Tomorrow: pigeon overlords.

Your future radiologist.

The next time you see a flock of pigeons in your way on an open concourse, remember this: Your future radiologist might be amongst them.

Professors Richard Levenson  and Edward Wasserman studied 16 pigeons and their ability to differentiate between benign and malignant breast tissue on a touchscreen image, and what they found might surprise. Not only do pigeons still strut like Mick Jagger while under study, but they can detect malignancy with surprising accuracy

On day one of testing, a pigeon's detection ability is no better than chance--50%. But within 13-to-15 days that percentage increases to 85%, or, as the professors note, "a task that can perplex inexperienced human observers who typically require considerable training to attain mastery."

Pigeon doctors. Once they learn to handle a scalpel, we're all goners.



story two:

Scientists bioengineer vocial cords; still can't help Selena Gomez's singing.

The real thing looks like raw steak.

Hot air isn't for balloons and your grandpa anymore. Starting with human cells, scientists have created, for the first time, vocal cords that actually properly vibrate when air is pushed through, dooming us to bad pop music for eternity.

Using the two main cell types that appear in vocal cords, scientists placed them in a 3D collagen matrix (a thing that mimics conditions in the body), and grew a vocal cord. After implanting the newly grown cords in cadaver dogs (not Fido!!), they pushed air through to find that the cords vibrated, and sounded, strikingly similar to regular vocal cords.

Said associate professor Nathan Welham, who led the development team: "I remember holding it and thinking, gosh, this feels like the real thing, which has a distinct feel—sort of like Jell-O but stronger and able to return to its shape if you deform it." Mmm, deformed Jell-O vocal cords. Sounds tasty! I'm ready for dessert!



story three:

It's alive! It's aliiiiiive!

Mmm, delicious Frankenfish.

The FDA has approved genetically engineered salmon. This is not to be confused with farm-raised salmon, which is normal salmon that wears plaid and overalls.

Critics claim the genetically engineered variety is a 'Frankenfish,' a creation blending chromosomes from an Atlantic salmon, a growth hormone from Chinook salmon, and a gene from the eel-like ocean pout, electric bolts not included.

While the FDA and most outside experts agree the new fish is safe to eat, the environmental impact is up for debate. The eggs for the fish are developed at a facility in Canada, for which a lawsuit remains. The fear? What happens if Frankenfish's eggs escape the Prince Edward Island facility?

If it follow's Mary Shelley's book, it goes on a casual murderous rampage before drifting away on an ice flow. How dramatic!



story four:

"I said a hip-hop, a hippity to the hippity hip-hip-hop..."

Nick Williams, a high school science teacher out of the San Francisco area, was awarded a $25,000 prize for promoting the sciences to his students. How? He raps occasionally.

From a sea of over 100,000 educators up for the Milken Educator Award, Williams was one of 40 selected to win a cash prize.

Let's see him in action:



He went with the finger-to-the-temple move and an "okay/three/West Coast" symbol! Man means business.

If he was an English teacher, he'd politely remind you to use a semicolon properly--in a whisper, quietly ashamed, weeping in a corner.

Cookbook inspired by 'True Blood' is a thing.

Everyone knows all the greatest recipes are inspired by television series about vampires. This is why Cajun chef Marcelle Bienvenu and HBO have partnered to create a 'True Blood' themed cookbook.

Because it doesn't take a lot of imagination, there's plenty of blood puns making up the recipes, like Blood-red Beet Bisque and Sweet Tea "Bloodied" with Pureed Strawberries and Raspberries.

Beets. Wow, great. Twist my arm why don't you.

You are what you eat.

The New York Times had a cute little story recently about what famous writers ate while working on their craft. What they ate conjures images awfully similar to how they wrote. But the article is best surmised in the following drawing that was part of it:

Let's analyze the food choices for what they casually say about the writer:

Lord Byron:  Vinegar.
What it says about him:  Smelly dude, silent pickle lover.

Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket): Raw, unpeeled carrots.
What it says about him:  Wow, there's a party.

Marcel Proust:  Espresso.
What it says about him:  Figures.

Joyce Maynard:  Lime popsicles.
What is says about her:  Less weird than JD Salinger.

Michael Pollan:  Tea out of a glass and roasted almonds during breaks.
What it says about him:  Someone just haaaas to be a little different, huh?

Walt Whitman:  Oysters and meat for breakfast.
What it says about him:  Aphrodisiac lover.

Mary Roach:  Pretty near-raw beef pho and corn nuts.
What it says about her:  Pretty gassy.

Truman Capote:  Coffee, mint tea, sherry, martini.
What it says about him:  Pees a lot.

John Steinbeck:  Cold toast and stale coffee.
What it says about him:  Potentially wrote at a booth at Denny's.

F. Scott Fitzgerald:  Canned meat eaten from the tin and apples.
What it says about him:  Possibly Hawaiian.

Franz Kafka:  Milk.
What it says about him:  Superhuman bone strength, kidney stones.



Photo / Drawing: New York Times, Wendy MacNaughton

Time Magazine is pretty certain that books don't change the world.

Time Magazine likes to make arbitrary lists. I enjoy arbitrarily commenting on arbitrary lists. Here the two shall meet again.

Time has come out with their "Time 100"--the 100 (American-centric, popular right now) people who affect the world the most. Of the list, 25 slots are devoted to "Artists." Immediately, Time sees if you're paying attention by putting Lady Gaga as the #1 artist. And why not? It's always been known her humanitarian skills are second to none--in that she only sings occasionally, so as not to harm the delicate sensibilities of starving third world citizens.

Time includes Robert Pattinson, too. Nothing affects the good people of the world like the man who portrays a vampire in a novel for teenage girls. My goodness, that sort of cache is pope-like, it's impossible to deny. He has a doll in his likeness, too. Sure, so did He-Man and She-Ra, but you never saw them make Time's list, now did you?

Of the 25 (who hardly qualify as) "Artists," two people who write actual books made the list. This was probably an oversight on Time's part, but we'll give them their due. One of them, Chetan Bhagat, is a self-described banker who "can't get numbers out of [his] head." Put another way, he's a wordsmith. The other, Suzanne Collins, once wrote for Nickelodeon television, and now has a series of children's sci-fi books that I've never heard of because puberty has long passed me by.

So, as you can see, we lovers of the written word are setting the world on fire. A self-described banker/math junkie and a children's sci-fi author is as far as we get. Apparently Time is too high-brow to consider Paula Deen's cookbook as a literary masterpiece for 2010. Well, la-di-da. At this pace for writers, though, 2011 seems like a sure shot for Paula.

Cash isn't something your grandmother stuffs in her mattress any longer.

If you're a writer and you're creating a story with characters that you might want to name at some point ((cough/hint-Cormac McCarthy-hint/cough)), there's a chance you might stumble over what to actually name them.

Bob? Mike? Tom? All are as exciting as as a paper clip.

Mary? Susan? Kathy? Crackling with as much energy as monastic chanting.

Maybe you just want a name that fits with the future, something that won't be as dated as naming a character Sinclair or Bertha. Well, you're in luck. Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosencrantz have a lot of time on their hands, and they like predicting which names will be popular ten years from now.

Do you have a female character? Do you want her to have a snappy name that shows you have your fingers on the pulse of the year 2020? Well, no need to call Miss Cleo and pay $3.99 a minute. Here are the top female names for a decade from now:

1.) Ava
2.) Amelia
3.) Ella

4.) Violet

5.) Lila

6.) Grace

7.) Ruby

8.) Matilda

9.) Harper

10.) Evelyn

When I think Ava, I think Ava Gardner. (Google her if you're under the age of 80.) Amelia? Amelia Earhart. Ella? Ella Fitzgerald. Those names are too entrenched with someone famous, for good or bad, that a fictional character will get lost being named that. It's like naming a character Adolf.

As for male names of the future, according to this report:
1.) Ethan
2.) Aiden
3.) Milo
4.) Charlie
5.) Oscar
6.) Ryder
7.) Cash
8.) River
9.) Kai
10.) Maximus

According to the site, "Parents like the upbeat, energetic, O-ending" of the name Milo. Ri-i-ight. My grandmother once named her dog Hobo. Would parents like that energetic, O-ending then, too? Milo isn't happening as a character's name unless that character is a kid in a school yard getting beaten up for his lunch money. I grew up watching the children's movie Milo & Otis, which was about an orange cat, named Milo, and a pug, named Otis, who are a sassy duo that get lost in the great outdoors. I can't name a character after an orange cat with bad directional issues.

As for the name Cash, the site says "The failed credit economy has lasting impact on baby names." Damn, I was just going to name a character of mine Visa, and now this happens.

When it comes to the name Kai, the site says it is a "winning combination of the gentle and exotic," with roots in everything from the Japanese to Nordic culture. Well, if you have a character who has Japanese parents who is currently a private investigator in Oslo, it sounds to me like you've got a winner.

Lastly there is River. The site says male names influenced by the environment are spiking and could be all the rage a decade from now. This includes Ocean, Birch, Cedar, Pine, Oak, Sage, Sky, Hawk, Trout, Wolf, and Fox. That's right, ladies. Ten years from now the main character of your romance novel is going to be named Trout. And, let me tell you, he's going to be dreamy with a name like that.