Showing posts with label F. Scott Fitzgerald. Show all posts
Showing posts with label F. Scott Fitzgerald. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Harper Lee wasn't a fan of Donald Trump's Taj Mahal Casino.

Apparently not a fan of slots or blackjack.


You should have furrowed your brow bright there when thinking about Harper Lee somehow connected to not only a casino, but Donald Trump's Taj Mahal Atlantic City Casino.

In a letter dated from 1990 found in Lee's New York City apartment, and currently up for auction online, Lee wrote a friend regarding having guests stay at the Taj Mahal. "The worst punishment God can devise for this sinner is to make her spirit reside eternally at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City," Lee wrote, shortly after the casino was opened.

On the campaign trail, Trump hasn't commented, but it'll probably be this:

"Who's Harper Lee? I mean, really, who is she? She's washed up. I'm telling you. She hasn't released anything new in, like, fifty years, maybe more. It's kid stuff, that Mockingbird junk. When I owned the Taj Mahal, it was the greatest casino ever developed. It was more popular, more important than the one in India. No one on the planet had seen such a thing. I mean, really, what would you rather do? Play at the greatest casino on the planet or read a dopey book about I, I, I don't even know--what's that book about?--bird killing? Do you want to read about birds being murdered? What's it, a how-to manual? Get her outta here with this stuff."

Lee's letter, by the way, has a current bid of $1,330.




Don't we all want to know the reasoning behind why Harper Lee was hosting guests at a New Jersey casino in the first place, regardless of the Trump angle? This is akin to F. Scott Fitzgerald inviting friends to AA meetings or Ernest Hemingway deciding that knitting circles are the next hot happening trend.





Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Should they sit at the kids' table or with the adults? Seventeen famous writers as children judged.


Did you grow up eating at the kids' table during Thanksgiving? You know, when your family chose to banish you into a corner with an assortment of cousins that you rarely saw and hardly liked? The cousin who's a few oats short of a Cheerio? The other cousin who lacks personal grooming habits and doesn't know the tender touch of a facecloth? Yeah--that happened to a lot of us.

We were all kids at some point though. Some of us were debonair, and some of us were a hot mess. And so were famous writers.

Here are seventeen famous writers when they were children or teenagers--and whether they should luck out and eat with the adults or be at the kids' table for Thanksgiving:






1.)
Robert Frost

Even as a baby, Frost couldn't manage a smile. And it all went downhill from here.

Kids' table!




2.) Vladimir Nabokov

The snappy tie, the tube socks channeling his wannabe inner Flashdance waiting to break free, all while rocking penny loafers.

Adults' table!




3.)
Virginia Woolf

She even judges while playing cricket. You don't need her judging your homemade stuffing, too.

Kids' table!




4.) Langston Hughes

Somewhere under that giant mound of baby clothes is Hughes. Is he a wizard? He might be a wizard.

Adults' table!




5.) Roald Dahl

There's a 50% chance he just walked off the set of Downton Abbey.

Adults' table!




6.) Jorge Luis Borges

It's as if baby Spock just came back from a cruise ship adventure.

Adults' table!




7.)
F. Scott Fitzgerald

A whip for the toy horse?

And we all know he's going to drink all the booze anyway...

Kids' table!




8.)
Franz Kafka

Is that a goat? Ram? Sheep?

Whatever it is, it has a hat. No one can deny a hat-wearing sheep is a winning look.

Adults' table!





9.) Carl Jung

That's the face of judgment. No one needs that while eating the sweet potatoes.

Kids' table!





10.)
J.R.R. Tolkien

Tolkien and his younger brother are channeling the pilgrim look. But they're missing the stylish hats with the belt buckles.

Kids' table!




11.)
Aldous Huxley

The shoes say, "I came here on the Mayflower."

The sour face says, "I need a nap."

Kids' table!




12. Arthur Rimbaud

You just kind of get the vibe that after he passes you the bowl of peas, he'll politely read you a poem.

Adults' table!





13.) Alice Munro

You try wearing a bonnet and look so cute. You can't, can you?

Adults' table!




14.) Flannery O'Connor

She might be good with small talk, but the entire time she'll be plotting a short story where she makes you a creep.

Kids' table!




15.)
Noam Chomsky

Don't let the coy smile fool you. That starched white collar channels a Miles Standish quality.

Kids' table!





16.)
Victor Hugo

Little Lord Fauntleroy, is that you?

Adults' table!





17.)
Stephen King

You usually only see 85-year old men wearing pants that high.

Adults' table!










Friday, September 25, 2015

If alive today, Ernest Hemingway would've been on 'Hoarders'


220lbs, of which 40lbs was all beard.


Ernest Hemingway loved the thrill of killing game, and apparently that excitement continued to the game of potentially being killed by a stack of his own mementos.

A new exhibit at New York's Morgan Library and Museum displays an extensive amount of minutia of Hemingway's own paperwork, partly borrowed by the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library--from visa war cards to original first drafts of short stories--to the point where it's apparent he had a fondness for himself.

Two highlights include a soured relationship with F. Scott Fitzgerald, where one letter is signed off  "Kiss my ass / EH." Another Hemingway fury moment occurs when he begins to comment about one reviewer's critique of his book, remarking he can take his review and shove it you know where--and supply the grease. Try not to be stunned by the subtly.

You don't see this sort of behavior out of Faulkner. Mainly because usually he was drunk.




photo: JFK Library

Saturday, March 29, 2014

The 10 (err, 11?) Greatest Sentences Ever Written [according to The American Scholar].




Let's face facts.

First off, The American Scholar's article about 10 Best Sentences is indecisive. It's actually 11, not 10.

Other issues? The 11 best sentences are written by 7 Americans, 2 Brits, an Irishman, and a Russian. Because if there's anything we can all agree on, it's that England hasn't given a lick to the field of literature. And the rest of the world? Pssh, please.

You might think this is a logical extension of the The American Scholar journal. You might ask, "But The American Scholar is all about America, no?"

No. Their own "About Us" states nothing about star-spangled Americana in literature, or that Jane Austen is an honorary member of the Tea Party.

So how is this top-10/11 made up?

8 men.
3 women.
7 Americans.
2 Brits.
1 Irishman.
1 Russian.
10 Caucasians.
1 African American.

...and that's it. Toni Morrison does double-duty covering quotas as a black woman, but otherwise there's no diversity, no extension of talent, no breadth of real insight into amazing sentences within the realm of literature. If you're a white American male, odds are you're writing literary gold, baby!

And that's the problem.

So who's included on this list? Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Joan Didion, James Joyce, John Hersey, Jane Austen, Toni Morrison, Tim O'Brien, Charles Dickens, Vladimir Nabokov, and Truman Capote.

It's like a who's who of obviousness until you hit John Hersey. And lord only knows who Tim O'Brien and Joan Didion are blackmailing in the field of literature, because the orgasmic obsession some have for them can only be explained through nefarious means.

Who's needed in this top-10/11? Margaret Atwood, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Anton Chekhov, Wole Soyinka, Doris Lessing, Boris Pasternak, Junot Diaz, Alice Munro, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Salman Rushdie, Nadine Gordimer, Chinua Achebe, Samuel Beckett, Alice Walker, Kazuo Ishiguro, Kate Grenville, Leo Tolstoy, Victor Hugo, Albert Camus. Pick a half dozen, swap them out with The American Scholar's list, and you've got something.

But, hey, God forbid.



Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Famous Writers Shirtless: F. Scott Fitzgerald


A fleeting internet meme happened of writers in underpants--but it passed too quickly to be truly appreciated.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today: F. Scott Fitzgerald




Chuckin' children in the ocean! Instilling the fear of God into bratty kids since 1920!

Not only does Fitzgerald love children-chuckin', he's also a fan of sensible high-waisted swimsuit belts. Figure-flattering and sensible, it helps draw the eye away from opaque legs.



Saturday, October 19, 2013

Where Dead Writers Reside: Part Two


It's October, and that requires obligatory Halloween-inspired posts. And nothing is more obligatorily macabre than looking at the tombstones of those who have died.

Now through Halloween we'll post collections of tombstones to see where famous writers are hanging out today.

Today: F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sylvia Plath, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost


 F. Scott Fitzgerald

Fitzgerald was a notorious alcoholic for decades, and often claimed he had contracted a mild form of tuberculosis. Nonetheless, he spent his final decade in decline, his body withering.

Weakened by previous heart attacks, Fitzgerald was struck dead after a final, massive coronary arrest in 1940 while (according to his lover) he was eating a candy bar.

Remember that on Halloween when you grab that extra Snickers.

Labeled a non-practicing Catholic, Fitzgerald wasn't allowed burial in a Catholic cemetery, leading to his original internment in Rockville Union Cemetery in Rockville, MD. Later, after Zelda's death, the Fitzgerald's daughter, Frances, worked to have the Catholic church overturn their ruling on the burial banishment. She succeeded, leading to her parents' current residence at Saint Mary's Cemetery across town in Rockville.

Tombstone Notes:
Including a passage from one's own book is one last final indulgence. It's like a literary gin and tonic.


Sylvia Plath

Plath, who battled with depression for many years, attempted suicide multiple times during her short life.

In 1963, her marriage to fellow poet Ted Hughes deteriorating (he was busy with other women) and in the throws of depression once again, Plath sealed off the kitchen with wet towels, placed her head in the oven, and turned on the gas.

So, yeah. That's a downer.

Buried in St. Thomas' Churchyard, Heptonstall, West Yorkshire, England, Plath's fans have continually tried to chisel off Hughes from the tombstone. While Ted Hughes was alive, he regularly had the tombstone removed, fixed, and placed back in its original location.

Tombstone Notes:
Ted Hughes included the epitaph on his wife's marker, potentially from a 16th century Chinese poet Wu Ch'Eng-En--but some disagree as to its origins. Because when you want to go with obscure sources, go big, my man.




Charles Dickens

Dickens spent the last few years of life in declining health, starting with bouts of paralysis (mild strokes) in 1868 incurred from a heavy itinerary of public readings.

By 1870, gravely ill, Dickens suffered a severe stroke at his home, and spent a day unconscious before dying.

Planning for death well in advance, Dickens desired a burial at Rochester Cathedral, near his home at Gad's Hill, "in an inexpensive, unostentatious, and strictly private manner."

Showing that the dead can't file a complaint, Dickens was instead buried in Poets' Corner at Westminster Abbey. While the official funeral ceremony was relatively private (only twelve mourners were in attendance), the grave was left open so thousands of people could walk past and pay their respects.

Expensive? Check.
Ostentatious? Check.
Public memorial? Check.

Sorry, Chuck. You rambled on so long with your books that no one could pay attention when you died.

Tombstone Notes:
Fun fact time! Dickens' plot is surrounded by a who's-who of famous dead Brits, including Rudyard Kipling, George Fredrick Handel, and Thomas Hardy. It'd be a great guest list for a dinner party if you really wanted to be bored.




Robert Frost

While living to quite a ripe age of 88, Frost was slowed down in his later years. In late December 1962, Frost went to the hospital for a needed prostate surgery. Not the best of ideas for the severely elderly, complications were had, most notably a heart attack. A month later, Frost died.

When he was sixty-six years old, Frost purchased a burial plot for his entire family at the Old Bennington Cemetery in Bennington, VT, where the entire roster of dead Frosts currently resides.

Anyone who wagered money that Bennington, of all places, is where the notoriously hopscotching Frost would end up must've made a fortune.

Tombstone Notes:
Frost quotes himself from his poem 'The Lesson for Today.'

"I had a lover's quarrel with the world," says Frost's marker--painting an image no one in the world ever associates with Frost.



Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Famous Writers Shirtless: F. Scott Fitzgerald


A fleeting internet meme happened of writers in underpants--but it passed too quickly to be truly appreciated.

So, occasionally we'll post some literary beefcake for your perusal.

Today: F. Scott Fitzgerald (w/ Zelda)


Welcome to the gun show, folks. Fitzgerald's packing some .357 Magnums beneath that 1920's-era swimsuit--showing that, indeed, a lifetime of pounding gin rickeys can lead to dimpled triceps.

Meanwhile, Zelda appears to be nursing a hangover.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

10 famous writers and their drinks of choice...



If there's anything we can learn from the history of deceased famous writers, it's that a good number of them were louses.

Well, thekitchn.com came out with ten famous writers and their drink of choice. In short, they all drank better than you do. Let's just face facts.

Some authors and their favorite relaxation in a glass:

1.) Author:  Jack Kerouac
Drink:  The Margarita
Analysis:  Little did we know that Jack Kerouac was a sorority girl looking for half-priced margaritas at the local burrito joint.





2.) Author:  Ernest Hemingway
Drink:  The Mojito
Analysis:  Today the mojito has a following at clubs, so now we can call Hemingway a club kid. GLOW STICK! GLOW STICK! GLOW STICK!!!

http://slowcocktails.squarespace.com/storage/mojito1.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1296266501903



3.) Author:  F. Scott Fitzgerald
Drink:  The Gin Rickey
Analysis:  Hipsters love gin these days, which means if Fitzgerald were alive today he'd be wearing plaid and listening to obscure indie bands.

http://www.liquoranddrink.com/Portals/0/images/Gin%20Rickey%201.600.jpg



4.) Author:  John Steinbeck
Drink:  The Jack Rose
Analysis:  According to thekitchn.com and the Hemingway & Bailey's Bartending Guide, the Jack Rose is for "the brandy drinker who also happen[s] to be a champion for the working class."

Yeah. I know. That makes absolutely not a lick of sense.

http://www.bestcocktail.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/jackrose.jpg



5.) Author:  William Faulkner
Drink:  The Mint Julep
Analysis:  Sometimes you just need to embrace stereotypes.

http://cache.trustedpartner.com/images/library/PalmBeachIllustrated2010/News%20&%20Blogs/Dining/Weekend%20in%20Cocktails/May%204/mint-julep.jpg




I give you five here. If you really care about Edna St. Vincent Milay's drinking habits, not only do you need a hobby, but you can read the whole article at thekitchn.com.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

F. Scott Fitzgerald loves him some turkey.

Noted booze-hound and all-around party boy, F. Scott Fitzgerald, had a funny streak in him--which can be hard to believe when you see how dour The Great Gatsby is.

Well, Fitzgerald once made a list during a moment of ha-ha about what to do with extra turkey after Thanksgiving. Duly noted, the website Lists of Note has preserved it for our perusal.

Some of the notable entries on his list:

1. Turkey Cocktail: To one large turkey add one gallon of vermouth and a demijohn of angostura bitters. Shake.

4. Turkey Mongole: Take three butts of salami and a large turkey skeleton, from which the feathers and natural stuffing have been removed. Lay them out on the table and call up some Mongole in the neighborhood to tell you how to proceed from there.

6. Stolen Turkey: Walk quickly from the market, and, if accosted, remark with a laugh that it had just flown into your arms and you hadn't noticed it. Then drop the turkey with the white of one egg—well, anyhow, beat it.

10. Turkey à la Maryland: Take a plump turkey to a barber's and have him shaved, or if a female bird, given a facial and a water wave. Then, before killing him, stuff with old newspapers and put him to roost. He can then be served hot or raw, usually with a thick gravy of mineral oil and rubbing alcohol. (Note: This recipe was given me by an old black mammy.)

Ehhhhhh.

Not like a reference to "an old black mammy" makes things awkward or anything...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

You are what you eat.


The New York Times had a cute little story recently about what famous writers ate while working on their craft. What they ate conjures images awfully similar to how they wrote. But the article is best surmised in the following drawing that was part of it:




Let's analyze the food choices for what they casually say about the writer:

Lord Byron:  Vinegar.
What it says about him:  Smelly dude, silent pickle lover.

Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket): Raw, unpeeled carrots.
What it says about him:  Wow, there's a party.

Marcel Proust:  Espresso.
What it says about him:  Figures.

Joyce Maynard:  Lime popsicles.
What is says about her:  Less weird than JD Salinger.

Michael Pollan:  Tea out of a glass and roasted almonds during breaks.
What it says about him:  Someone just haaaas to be a little different, huh?

Walt Whitman:  Oysters and meat for breakfast.
What it says about him:  Aphrodisiac lover.

Mary Roach:  Pretty near-raw beef pho and corn nuts.
What it says about her:  Pretty gassy.

Truman Capote:  Coffee, mint tea, sherry, martini.
What it says about him:  Pees a lot.

John Steinbeck:  Cold toast and stale coffee.
What it says about him:  Potentially wrote at a booth at Denny's.

F. Scott Fitzgerald:  Canned meat eaten from the tin and apples.
What it says about him:  Possibly Hawaiian.

Franz Kafka:  Milk.
What it says about him:  Superhuman bone strength, kidney stones.



Photo / Drawing:
New York Times, Wendy MacNaughton

Monday, June 13, 2011

Personally, I always thought The Grapes of Wrath would've been a great video game.

Just think of it: An old jalopy of a truck overburdened with passengers has to careen down a dirty highway in the American southwest, veering past tumbleweeds, scurrying varmints, and unscrupulous land owners. The object of the game is to quickly drive across the landscape and find an honest farming business that'll pay you a fair wage, or your family will die of starvation--or, worse, kill themselves or someone else in an act of desperation.

Sound fun?? Get the kids!

Well, someone else has created a Great Gatsby video game. You, too, can live the life of a flapper and a playboy, minus the whole downer of being killed. It looks like Super Mario, circa 1982, and plays pretty much the same way, too. Except with more gangsters and random gentlemen doing The Charleston.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Daisy Buchanan's home is going to make for some lovely firewood soon.


Remember reading The Great Gatsby in high school? No? You read it, I'm sure of it. Somewhere between Death of a Salesman and Macbeth. But knowing your lack of self-motivation in life, you never read it probably. You never even read the SparkNotes version.

Annnyway, remember Daisy Buchanan? No, of course not, why would you? She was a character in Gatsby, and we've established that you never read it. But I did, because I'm a worldly man of leisure who not only reads classic literature, but also looks dashing in Italian business suits.

Well, it seems Daisy Buchanan's real life home--or, rather, the home that inspired F. Scott Fitzgerald to make it Daisy's in the book--is going to be demolished soon. Disrepair and neglect means the house isn't worth the land it sits on. I sense a condo complex on the horizon.

I'm not saying you're to blame. I'm just saying look at what never reading that book in high school has lead to.