Should they sit at the kids' table or with the adults? Seventeen famous writers as children judged.

Did you grow up eating at the kids' table during Thanksgiving? You know, when your family chose to banish you into a corner with an assortment of cousins that you rarely saw and hardly liked? The cousin who's a few oats short of a Cheerio? The other cousin who lacks personal grooming habits and doesn't know the tender touch of a facecloth? Yeah--that happened to a lot of us.

We were all kids at some point though. Some of us were debonair, and some of us were a hot mess. And so were famous writers.

Here are seventeen famous writers when they were children or teenagers--and whether they should luck out and eat with the adults or be at the kids' table for Thanksgiving:

1.) Robert Frost

Even as a baby, Frost couldn't manage a smile. And it all went downhill from here.

Kids' table!

2.) Vladimir Nabokov

The snappy tie, the tube socks channeling his wannabe inner Flashdance waiting to break free, all while rocking penny loafers.

Adults' table!

3.) Virginia Woolf

She even judges while playing cricket. You don't need her judging your homemade stuffing, too.

Kids' table!

4.) Langston Hughes

Somewhere under that giant mound of baby clothes is Hughes. Is he a wizard? He might be a wizard.

Adults' table!

5.) Roald Dahl

There's a 50% chance he just walked off the set of Downton Abbey.

Adults' table!

6.) Jorge Luis Borges

It's as if baby Spock just came back from a cruise ship adventure.

Adults' table!

7.) F. Scott Fitzgerald

A whip for the toy horse?

And we all know he's going to drink all the booze anyway...

Kids' table!

8.) Franz Kafka

Is that a goat? Ram? Sheep?

Whatever it is, it has a hat. No one can deny a hat-wearing sheep is a winning look.

Adults' table!

9.) Carl Jung

That's the face of judgment. No one needs that while eating the sweet potatoes.

Kids' table!

10.) J.R.R. Tolkien

Tolkien and his younger brother are channeling the pilgrim look. But they're missing the stylish hats with the belt buckles.

Kids' table!

11.) Aldous Huxley

The shoes say, "I came here on the Mayflower."

The sour face says, "I need a nap."

Kids' table!

12. Arthur Rimbaud

You just kind of get the vibe that after he passes you the bowl of peas, he'll politely read you a poem.

Adults' table!

13.) Alice Munro

You try wearing a bonnet and look so cute. You can't, can you?

Adults' table!

14.) Flannery O'Connor

She might be good with small talk, but the entire time she'll be plotting a short story where she makes you a creep.

Kids' table!

15.) Noam Chomsky

Don't let the coy smile fool you. That starched white collar channels a Miles Standish quality.

Kids' table!

16.) Victor Hugo

Little Lord Fauntleroy, is that you?

Adults' table!

17.) Stephen King

You usually only see 85-year old men wearing pants that high.

Adults' table!

17 Bands and Musical Acts Named After Something Literary-Related

Musical acts get their names from a variety of sources, and for many that comes in the way of books.

Sometimes it's as simple as the title of a book. Sometimes it's a character's name. Other times it's an object or location mentioned in the story. More often than not, though, it's an obscure reference that not even your hardcore English major is going to recognize.

So here are 17 random musical acts that named themselves after something literary-related. Consider this a chance to brush up on some obscure facts so you can kick ass at trivia night at your favorite bar.

In no order of significance:

1.) Steppenwolf

The name comes from Herman Hesse's book of the same name. The band's producer recommended a name change from what they were calling themselves: The Sparrows.

Because it's a little difficult to take a man growling "Born to Be Wild" seriously when you're called The Sparrows.




2.) Steely Dan

William S. Burrough's novel Naked Lunch is to blame for the name. And what, exactly, is a "Steely Dan" in the book?

((ahem)) It's a name for a strap-on dildo.

And references to sex toys was about as edgy as Steely Dan ever got.


3.) Modest Mouse

Virginia Woolf has her groupies, and Modest Mouse is one such collection of groupies. The name comes from Woolf's novel The Mark on the Wall, from the line, "...…and very frequent even in the minds of modest, mouse-coloured people."

That line makes about as much sense as the rest of Woolf's work.


4.) The Doors

A shout-out to a sale on storm doors at Home Depot?

No, it apparently comes from Aldous Huxley's book The Doors of Perception, which is really just quoting William Blake, "When the doors of perception are cleansed, things will appear to man as they truly are…infinite."




5.) My Chemical Romance

Everyone knows if you want inspiration in life, you have to work retail.

The bassist of the band, Mikey Way, used to work at a Barnes and Noble and was inspired to name the band he was in after a book titled Five Tales of Chemical Romance, by Irvine Welsh, which he saw on a shelf.


6.) Genesis

You get three guesses, and the first two don't count.

Yeah, the band's named after that Genesis.


7.) Silverchair

The Aussie band was apparently a big fan of young adult fiction. They named themselves after C.S.Lewis's fourth installment in the Chronicles of Narnia series, The Silver Chair. Clearly they're not a fan of The Magician's Nephew.




8.) Belle & Sebastian

A French-oriented name for a Scottish band? Sure, why not? That's what we have here, as the indie pop group went for the French children's book Belle et Sébastien, by Cécile Aubry, as their name.


9.) Veruca Salt

Can't fight the seether? Well, you can't fight the appeal of Roald Dalh's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory either, as Veruca Salt was the name of one of the bratty kids that appeared in the book.


10.) Sixpence None the Richer

Let's welcome C.S. Lewis back to the stage!

This time it's Lewis's book Mere Christianity that was the inspiration. Detailing the band's name on The Late Show with David Letterman, lead singer Leigh Nash explained, "When the father received the present, he was none the richer because he originally gave the sixpence to his son."

That's a bit roundabout of a way to get to a name, but it serves its purpose.


11.) Moby

The man's given name is Richard Melville Hall. Bonus points if you already know where this is going.

Supposedly Herman Melville was his great-great-great granduncle. If you don't know--and God help you if you don't--Herman Melville wrote Moby Dick. Hence, the name.




12.) The Airborne Toxic Event

Any time your band's name has more than three words, you're probably dipping deep to come up with it. In this case, The Airborne Toxic Event comes from the Don DeLillo novel White Noise, specifically section two of the book with the same name that lends its title as inspiration to the band.


13.) Oryx and Crake

Someday she'll win a Nobel Prize in Literature, but for now Margaret Atwood just inspires bands from Atlanta to name themselves after one of her books, as is the case here.


14.) The Velvet Underground

Michael Leigh's book of the same name examined the sexual subculture of the early 1960s.

This makes perfect sense when you consider Andy Warhol managed the band.


15.) Mott the Hoople

Famous for their hit 1972 song "All of You Dudes," the band's record producer came up with the name after cooling his heals in prison for a drug offense. There he came across a book of the same title, written by Willard Manus.

I'm as shocked as you to realize drugs were behind that name.


16.) Supertramp

Their 1979 album Breakfast in America put them on the map, but they went back over 70 years earlier to a 1908 book called The Autobiography of a Super-Tramp by Welsh writer W.H. Davies to find something to name themselves after.

I'm still not certain what a Super-Tramp is though.


17.) Okkervil River

The band actually has two sources for its name. Directly, it comes from a short story by Russian writer Tatyana Tolstaya. But Tolstaya got the name for her short story from a river near St. Petersburg.

That is the most popular obscure river in all the world.

Study: 12% of American college students think Mount Everest is in the Appalachians.

Humphrey Bogart lets his co-star learn of the bad news.

That's just one fact that Kent State professors John Dunlosky and Katherine Rawson found out when they compared the general knowledge of 671 current college students with that of their peers from a similar study done in 1980, according to Discover.

Back then, researchers used 300 questions to establish general knowledge norms. Dunlosky and Rawson looked for comparisons with questions that, theoretically, should be easily transferable to today's students. (Think: geographical, historical, science, math, and the arts. Don't think: 1980's pop culture.)

Yeah...no.

Some of the findings? Fewer than 5% of American college students know...

• that Marie Curie discovered radium
• that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories
• that Aldous Huxley wrote Brave New World
• that Thomas Jefferson lived at Monticello
• that Alfred Nobel invented dynamite
• that Ian Fleming wrote the James Bond stories
• that Mozart wrote Don Giovanni
• that Budapest is the capital of Hungary
• that Hippocrates was the famous Greek doctor
• that Euclid was the "father of geometry"
• that General Custer lost the Battle of Little Bighorn

If that isn't depressing enough, not a single student out of the 671 knew the answer to any of these questions (answers below):

1.)  What is the highest mountain in South America?
2.)  What was the name of the largest Confederate military prison during the Civil War?
3.)  What is the last name of the author of The Brothers Karamazov?
4.)  What is the last name of the first person to run a mile in under four minutes?
5.)  What is the name of the mountain range that separates Europe from Asia?
6.)  What was the last name of the U-2 spy plane pilot who was shot down over Russia in 1960?
7.)  What is the last name of the person who allegedly said, "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country"?
8.)  What was the last name of the captain of the British ship Bounty when the mutiny occurred?
9.)  What is the last name of the Cuban leader Fidel Castro overthrew?
10.)  What is the last name of the man most responsible for photographing the U.S. Civil War?
11.)  What is the last name of the actor who portrayed the sheriff in the movie High Noon?
12.)  What is the last name of the author of Our Town?
13.)  What was the last name of the female star of the movie Casablanca?
14.)  What was the name of the Union ironclad ship that fought the Confederate ironclad Merrimack?

Continuing with the hilarity, only 44% know Paul Revere alerted people that "the British are coming," 56% know Jupiter is the largest planet in the solar system, and 66% know the Mayflower was the name of the Pilgrims' ship. Meanwhile, 7% gave the wrong answer when asked to identify "a horse-like animal with black and white stripes." (Psst--that'd be a zebra.)

And, lastly, 11% of college students believe the word "dynamite" was named after its creator, Mr. Dynamite.

No, that's not Jimmie Walker either.


Answers:
1.) Aconcagua
2.) Andersonville
3.) Dostoevsky
4.) Bannister
5.) Ural
6.) Powers
7.) Hale
8.) Bligh
9.) Batista
10.) Brady
11.) Cooper
12.) Wilder
13.) Bergman
14.) Monitor

If you don't know the answer to 11 and 13, I need a moment away from you.

Where Dead Writers Reside: Part One

It's October, and that requires obligatory Halloween-inspired posts. And nothing is more obligatorily macabre than looking at the tombstones of those who have died.

Now through Halloween we'll post collections of tombstones to see where famous writers are hanging out today.


Today:  Ralph Ellison, John Steinbeck, George Eliot, Aldous Huxley

Ralph Ellison

Ellison died in 1994 from pancreatic cancer at the age of 80.

His grave is located at the Trinity Church Cemetery and Mausoleum in Manhattan, NYC, NY.

Tombstone Notes:
It looks like one of those memorial bricks in a park used to raise money for a new swingset.





John Steinbeck
Steinbeck died in 1968 of congestive heart failure at the age of 66.

His grave is located at his mother's family plot (last name Hamilton) in Salinas, CA.

Tombstone Notes: 
Understated for a Nobel Prize winner. Memorial plaques on park benches are flashier than this.

George Eliot

Eliot died in 1880 from a throat infection mixed with a kidney illness. (Yeah, your guess is as good as mine.)

The former Mary Ann Evans is buried in Highgate Cemetery (East), in Greater London, England.

Tombstone Notes:
Channeling an inner Egyptian vibe, it reminds us of everything great about Ramses I.

Aldous Huxley

Huxley died from laryngeal cancer on November 22, 1963--the same day John F. Kennedy was assassinated and C.S. Lewis died. Not a good day for famous people.

He's buried in Watts Cemetery, Compton, near Guildford, Surrey, England.

Tombstone Notes:
Lumped in the middle of a family history of death--a who's who of dead Huxleys.

Bonus points for not being the Huxley with the wiped-out name.