Zombiism (yes, those with a penchant for eating brains) gets defined in a respected scientific journal.

Worst club scene ever.

For its December issue, the British Medical Journal (BMJ) has released an article that strikes home for most of us. "Zombie infections: epidemiology, treatment and prevention," specifically focuses on the scourge of flesh-eating hoards of zombies that could run rampant across the globe if we're not careful.

You laugh. But what's your plan when they come for you and you realize you left your personal Rick Grimes pants at home?

Included in the article are detailed footnotes and sources--sources rich in a detailed analysis of the potential epidemic--such as the movies 28 Days Later and Night of the Living Dead.

Tara Smith, of Kent State University, conducted the study, which was all part of an annual tradition at the BMJ to showcase irreverent, humorous 'studies' in their year-end issue.

Yeah, yeah--it's all fun and games until we're siphoning gas from broken down cars and dealing with eye patch wearing maniacs.

The history of apocalyptic novels since 1900 suggests we're all going to die in more and more creative ways.

A Tumblr account called ToastyStats performs "fandom statistical analyses," and they've created a bar chart representing the history of what every apocalyptic novel from 1900 focused on as humanity's annihilation.

And what does the chart show? Tastes have changed drastically, and in more unique ways.

In 1900, people were paranoid by supernatural beings and the sun just gobbling us up. Disease reached its dominant peak in the 1910s.

War, on the other hand--what is it good for? Apparently not apocalyptic fiction, which has seen the topic steadily decline since its peak in the pre-World War II 1930s.

But what's gaining traction today? Zombies are on the rise (((rim-shot)))!

But not if Rick Grimes has anything to say about it.



Chart: ToastyStats Tumblr

Tennessee bill might require all students to learn cursive.

There isn't much in this world that Democrats and Republicans can agree on, but apparently the need to write cursive is one.

State representative Sheila Butt has proposed a bill in the Tennessee state legislature requiring cursive be taught. The Republican lawmaker "authored the bill after being told by parents and teachers that kids today couldn’t read their handwritten notes," according to The Tennessean. Not to mention all the birthday cards from grandma and grandpa that look like indiscriminate squiggles.

It doesn't stop there. "Butt frets that the day may come when Tennesseans will no longer be able to sign their names legibly or read the Bill of Rights in its original form," says the newspaper. Because if there's one thing your average American does on a Saturday night, it's kick back and read the Bill of Rights in its original form.

But this is a noble quest, and Sheila Butt is not alone on her mission, as the entire Tennessee legislature seems to be on board, Democrat and Republican. Says Rep. Raumesh Akbari, a Democrat, “I think it’s terrible [...] because you really need to be able to write in the event that your computer or your phone or your iPad — all those batteries are dead.”

In case you're not keeping track, the reasons for learning cursive are as follows:

1.  Handwritten notes are indecipherable.
2.  Bill of Rights reading parties.
3.  Potential zombie apocalypse wiping out our electronic grid.

All valid excuses.




photo: Wikipedia

2,000 graves from former asylum found on college campus.

Sounds like the plot to a B-grade zombie movie, but it's happening now at the University of Mississippi Medical Center campus, where land being surveyed for a new parking garage found mass burial plots.

Radar imaging found what's believed to be upwards of 2,000 unmarked graves located on the property.

The graves come from a collection of sources that were once nearby, including the former State Lunatic Asylum, a former African American church, and what's described as a "potter's field for indigent people."

The cost to remove the bodies is prohibitive to construction (upwards of $3,000 per grave), so the university is looking elsewhere for the garage site.

And that concludes today's creepy asylum mass burial plot news.

Princeton researchers: Facebook will die out like the bubonic plague.

Researchers say social media sites spread like infectious diseases, but humans grow immune.

Per the researchers, via The Telegraph:

"Ideas, like diseases, have been shown to spread infectiously between people before eventually dying out, and have been successfully described with epidemiological models."

Likewise, researchers say that Facebook's 1.2 billion monthly users will largely abandon the site by 2017, thus continuing the bubonic plague analogy and turning this into a zombie apocalypse.

Somewhere, a track-suited Charles Heston, Omega Man-style, is waiting at the ready.

Report: 10 worst Halloween candies for kids' waistlines and teeth.

What experts hate? Snickers, Skittles, Starburst, Tootsie Pops.

What experts recommend? Sugar-free gum, organic peanut butter cups, and home craft projects using candy.

That's right, kids. You hoofed it around town so you could make a gorgeous dining room table centerpiece. Remember that.

Realtor.com wants you to know that they're taking the inevitable zombie apocalypse very seriously.

When buying a house, a good realtor is going to make sure you know about the quality of schools nearby, how safe the neighborhood is, and if you're going to die during a zombie attack because of inadequate housing.

Which is why Realtor.com published an article detailing sixteen houses/castles/private islands currently for sale that have enough built-in defense mechanisms to stave off the drooling, shuffling zombie hoards.

My personal favorite? The $14 million private island in the Bahamas that comes equipped with a yacht, three whalers, and a fleet of wave runners included in the purchase price.

Zombies can't swim, man. Best they can do is trudge methodically underwater. Those wave runners are gold, baby. Gold!




Why a kitten photo? Because.

Amanda Hocking is a millionaire from writing ebooks. By comparison, I am not.

Yahoo! has an interview with a 26 year old woman named Amanda Hocking, best known now as a self-made millionaire from writing paranormal romance ebooks.

Hocking says she started writing while she had a full-time job, working 3pm to 9pm (full-time, eh?), and then would write for up to 12 hours after that fueled on Red Bull and SweeTarts. (No, really. SweeTarts. It's the poor man's pick-me-up.)

I don't know what "paranormal romance" actually means though. I'm assuming it's about someone like Edward Cullen, minus the hair mousse. Maybe? Ghosts? Maybe the novels are about zombies. I've often thought that there was a huge void on the zombie romance novel front. Look how zombies are so dedicated to having people for dinner. How romantic!