Know Your State College/University English Departments Simply Based on Their Website, Part Six: Fitchburg State University

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges / universities are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college / university brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges / universities and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.

Next Up: Fitchburg State University

At some point since the start of this series of state college English department bios, state colleges ceased being state colleges. They're now state universities. Why? I don't know. Nothing changed except the name. That and sweatshirts. I can't find a sweatshirt with "FSC" on it for the life of me--which means I really regret holding out all those years I was a student hoping they'd have my size on the clearance rack. That's the sort of collateral damage that politicians never think of when they make moves like this.

At the same time, the FSC/U English Department decided to drastically makeover their website. If I did this review six month ago I'd have mentioned...

a.) That the website was in a mood-altering shade of blue, the likes of which only Picasso in the depths of depression could have appreciated.

b.) It had some really old information listed, such as news that President Lincoln was planning on attending a brand new play at the Ford Theater.

c.) Links led nowhere, which was actually great for people with low expectations.

d.) That the website was really blue. Oddly blue. Freakishly blue. Like you held your breath too long blue. Like the chubby girl in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who eats candy against the rules kind of blue. Like Paul Newman's eyes kind of blue. (Ask your grandma what I mean. She'll probably start involuntarily fanning herself while thinking how dreamy his peepers were.)

Now, the website is--how do I say this without sounding like bribery happened behind the scenes?--real. Good, too. Not in an ambiguous kind of good either--like when someone asks you how your day is, and you reflexively mumble "Good" during a momentary lapse in proper English. But good good. And really real.

First off, they changed the banner photo to this:
<----
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Is that ivy? I don't know. Plants were never my thing. Otherwise I'd be a botanist right now. But assuming it's ivy, that's quite crafty subliminal messaging going on. Ivy League? Ivy photography? It's only one word off, which means you're as good as 50% on your way to a degree at Harvard. This is a huge step up over Westfield State (the allure of purple trees!) and Salem State (the professors read so students don't have to).

The Fitchburg State website is up-to-date on everything. 2010/11's president of the English Honors Society? It's actually 2010/11's president--and not 2003's. The Department News? Really relevant news. Undergraduate program descriptions? It actually clarifies that things changed in 2008. Even more noteworthy, the four objectives they list for the English program are so precisely thought out to such an extent that it muzzles my sarcasm.

Did I mention the school newspaper? It's now online and paper-free. (Environmentally conscious? More like budgetary conscious.) And it's updated all the time, and not nearly as dry as you might expect a school newspaper to sound. Unlike some schools, they're not ashamed to include the campus police log. Including this gem:

Wednesday, November 3rd:
3:47 p.m. – North Street: Two juveniles giving the finger to passing motorist; Campus Police dispatched and spoke to same.

Fitchburg, MA = a den of criminal activity.

The FSU English Department also hosts a blog, called The Toolbox--((we're diving into the looking glass...))--the only English Department blog by any state school in Massachusetts. (Psst: you're reading it now.) Which isn't saying much. It's like saying you're the only kid in preschool who doesn't eat paste. But someone has to be first with these sorts of things. FSU leads with blogging.

And all of the old blue? Now changed--subtly though--to the school colors of white, green, and gold. You no longer need a pep talk and a hug after viewing the English Department website.

Note: You might claim this review is biased. Except I have no reason to be biased. For one, I've never passed up a chance to put my foot in my mouth and mildly offend someone. Secondly, I don't attend FSU any longer. I'm Boston College's headache. They're the ones grading me these days. I'm just FSU's Ghost of Christmas Past that haunts their website. They only give me free reign to run this blog. (And by free I mean they pay me nothing. Pssh.)

Know Your State College English Departments Simply Based on Their Website, Part Five: Bridgewater State College

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.





Next Up: Bridgewater State College

Sometimes becoming an English major can seem like a daunting task. Maybe grammar isn't your strong suit, writing might be a weak point, and maybe spelling polysyllabic words befuddle you because you can't even spell or say the word "polysyllabic" to begin with.

Good news then! The Chair of the Bridgewater State College English Department wants you to know, eh, the rules of grammar can trip him up, too, especially in his welcome letter. Such as when he uses a hyphen when he should use an (e)m-dash, or when he randomly indents a paragraph late in his welcome for no discernible reason other than to see if you're paying attention. If you're an English major with Bridgewater State College, does pointing these errors out to him guarantee you'll graduate Summa Cum Laude? Yeah, sure, why not?

The Department also offers its own version of an English honors program. According to their website (my comments in parentheses):

By pursuing Honors, inspired students (all others--little lackluster, to be blunt) can reach their highest potential (Isn't potential like love or joy or annoyance? Can it actually be measured?) through critical thinking, scholarship, and inquiry. Close student-faculty relations (who's buying dinner?) and intensive research provide for the vigorous and thorough exchange of ideas (Team Edward or Team Jacob??), and offer students an opportunity to broaden their knowledge and experience (as would working as a janitor--or a mechanic--or a greeting card employee--or a maid).

If working hard for an Honors program isn't your idea of a good time, there's The Bridge--BSC's literary journal showcasing...ummm...give me a second here...((((looks))))...yeah, I got nothing. I'm guessing you can write anything. I'll go with haikus. Everyone loves a haiku. Oh, but there is a mission statement!

Mission statement (my charm in parentheses):
The Bridge is managed entirely by students. Our charge is to serve (sounds very politician-y), as we are dedicated to showcasing the artistic talents of the student body (fingers crossed on the haikus...) while providing internships in editing and in graphic design. Our goal is to excel (cue: politician closed-fist thumb thrust into the camera), as we wish to pay a debt to our alumni (just stop borrowing their money), keep a promise to ourselves (annnnd that would be--?), and set an example for our successors (...on how to take yourselves too seriously).

According to the "About" tab, eighteen people worked on the staff of The Bridge for their latest installment--fourteen students, two alumni, and two faculty. I'm guessing that means each person was in charge of reading half a haiku?

Confession time: I worked as an editor for FSC's literary journal, Route 2, this past year. I'm biased. In that sweet sort of bias though, like mothers to their children and grandmothers to brands of mayonnaise. We had a staff of four at Route 2. Usually only three worked at a time. It can be a mildly hectic job for three/four, but more than doable. But where is BSC getting 18 editors?? When did they become the New Yorker or Atlantic Monthly? Is it so they could all self-edit their own self-submissions? Are some editors only editing coffee orders? Who's in charge of foot rubs? How does this work? Who will answer me?

Most importantly, what was this "promise" they had to keep? It sounds like they've plagiarized Robert Frost. They're being secretive--and no one likes secrets. That's so high school, minus the whole getting-stuffed-in-lockers type thing.

Know Your State College English Departments Simply Based on Their Website, Part Four: Framingham State College

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.

Next Up: Framingham State College

Also known as:
"the other FSC"
"the FSC of Route 9"
"Fitchburg State College's doppelganger of lower Massachusetts"

Have you always wanted to attend an English Department with the personality of Al Gore, circa pre-2000? Then you're in luck, because Framingham State College's English Department has taken a page out of their Dragnet handbook, and offers the facts, and just the facts, ma'am.

The webpage cuts straight to the point. It has goals for the English major.

1.) Demonstrate an aesthetic appreciation of language and literature.  (They don't want to see just any sort of appreciation--just the aesthetic variety.)

2.) Interpret a range of texts in American, British, and world literature, providing those texts with appropriate historical and cultural contexts.  (Only "appropriate" contexts now. No funny business.)

3.) Demonstrate advanced analytical reading skills.  (This implies most college students have actual reading skills to begin with.)

4.) Understand a variety of critical theories, approaches, and methodologies and apply them to the interpretation of texts.   (All English majors know that critical theories are where the action's at. And that action is usually displayed by quiet sobbing.)

5.) Demonstrate substantial communication skills, including the ability to write lucid prose for specific rhetorical situations.  ("Substantial communication skills" is something Billy Mays exhibited in infomercials. Greatest English major in history then? Quite possibly.)

6.) Demonstrate advanced ability to conduct and use academic research, from locating and evaluating print and electronic sources to integrating research materials into substantial critical essays.   (I'll help with half of that statement: you can locate most research material in your school's library.)

And...that's pretty much it.

No, really. 

That's about it for the website of this FSC's English Department. You can find some courses offered in pinpoint detail--find some background on the faculty--or find some ideas of career paths with an English degree.

Some things you won't find:

1.) a link to a writing center
2.) a link to any school activities
3.) a link to any school creative journals
4.) a link to any English clubs or organizations
5.) a sense of humor.

Know Your State College English Departments Simply by Their Website, Part Three: Worcester State College

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.

Next Up: Worcester State College

The English language has never lived up to the hype. Other than a few 15 minutes of fame, what has it ever given human civilization? Shakespeare? He didn't even know how to spell his own name. It's that sort of indecisiveness that possibly led Worcester State College to not have a specific English Department. The closest you get to an English department is the Languages and Literature Department--which we're told is a "happy family of professors and students" where "French and Spanish are spoken along with English." What? No Esperanto?

According to the homepage, the "department stresses the importance of traditional values...while also exploring the latest frontiers in criticism, theory, and technology." And they're clearly exploring the frontiers of time travel, too, because right below that statement they have a link to the Fall 2001 course descriptions. Ahh, 2001. When online technology generally consisted of your dial-up connection taking 20 minutes to download a photo of grandma holding her newest bundt cake. Those were traditional values no one wants to say goodbye to.

WSC offers a few links--one to Languages at WSC, one to Literature at WSC--with each leading to a page that simply states "Text here." You might think those are just cryptic messages or lazy web designers. I like to think it's a subtle suggestion that students have a world of opportunity to create their own web text, like an imaginary friend when you're four years old.

Like all good departments, WSC offers a writing center. And, like all good departments, the imagination runs wild with the name of the writing center--called "The Writing Center." On the website, the Writing Center offers Writenet--an online virtual writing center that's virtually dead, as the link to Writenet ceases to exist.

The only (really not so) juicy tidbit comes in the form of a link "For Department Faculty Members," (which is like telling a stranger you have a secret) which leads to an Academic Year 2000 Word document stating the goals of the department for 2010. Not to pat myself on the back too much, but my ability to read a calendar is pretty sharp--so I notice it's 2010 now. And what did WSC envision for 2010 back in 2000?

1.) By the year 2010 we foresee a department in which the languages and literature disciplines are even stronger and more unified than they are today and in which, through cooperation, our strengths complement each other in such areas as comparative literature, literature in translation and linguistics.

(Sounds like the Supremes before Diana Ross ditched the group.)

2.) We foresee more interaction between the disciplines in the use of technology in teaching...
 
(Except with the whole website technology thingy being ignored for almost a decade.)

 3.) We see ourselves housed in state-of-the-art facilities with comfortable, professional and climate controlled offices...

(That person reading a novel and sweating up a storm in a WSC departmental building? It's not because of the hot literary action in the book.)

But that's it. WSC doesn't let us know if they gave their faculty some buildings with heating and cooling options. It's like a great "To be continued..." that flashes at the end of a very special episode of House or Law and Order, except this continuation has gone on for 10 years. Will people keep sweating? I don't know. The excitement! Don't spoil the ending for me! I want to be surprised!

Know Your State College English Departments Simply by Their Website, Part Two: Westfield State College

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.

Next up: Westfield State College

The website for the Westfield State College English Department welcomes you with this photo--a collage of everything that makes writing and literature great. This includes purple trees lightly sketched over the photos. I'm sure it alludes to something literature-ish if you just give me a few minutes to think about it.

((thinks))

Nope. Got me. I don't know what the purple trees mean. Not a clue.

Granted, Westfield State likes to keep you guessing. The main web page for the college shows a rotation of news at the school where we're told this stunning news: "Our students are studing abroad in China." That's right--studing. It's quite possible Westfield State has started putting their students out to pasture in China. 

What might also have been put out to pasture is the English Department website for the college, too. Some basic sleuthing (ie: looking at the bottom of the page) shows they haven't updated the main page since 2007. Granted, 2007 was probably a fantastic year for the department, so why let the memories fade? While they're at it, they'll also let you know what sort of course electives you can take for the 2006 school year, too. Have you been jonesing to take Contemporary Cross-Cultural Literature? Well, good news. It's available for the Spring 2006 semester. Plan accordingly.

What they have up to date is the department calendar. They just happen to let that run three years into the past as well, just in case you were wondering what was planned in October 2007. (Note: you just barely missed the Student Poetry Slam by 28 months.)

Are you looking for a job in the department? Well, I can report that in 2006 no jobs were available. That said, Westfield State offers a random blurb right after that giving a brief breakdown of what makes Westfield, MA, so appealing to live and work:
 

Western Massachusetts abounds with cultural and recreational activities (Ed. note: only in the summertime really), making it an especially nice place for academic and family life. (If you're a single person, well, hey, you're out of luck.) Westfield is located within half an hour of Northampton and an hour of Amherst with their celebrated bookstores, shops, cafes, and libraries. (So, you might be more interested in teaching at UMass Amherst or Amherst College instead.) Tanglewood and summer stock theatre in the Berkshires are less than an hour away. Both Boston and New York City are easy day trips. (Please ignore Springfield, MA, right next door, unless you like the sweet smell of desperation.) Set on the edge of the Berkshires, (just not quite in it, shucks!) Westfield is a city with a strong sense of history and tradition since its founding in 1669. Besides its indoor as well as outdoor recreational activities (Indoor activities? Like what? Shuffleboard and canasta?), the city boasts fine schools and reasonable housing costs. (It's Massachusetts. "Reasonable housing costs" is a loose term.)

Do you have an interest in theater? No? Good. Neither does Westfield State. Because the website link to the department's program ceases to exist. Feel free to click here just to wax nostalgic for the days when they actually had this as a live link.

Ahh, but activities do exist from the department. Sort of. Kind of. The page hasn't been updated since 2008--which is practically yesterday in Westfield State time--but it does show that they have an English Club, a Sigma Tau Delta Club, a literary journal called Persona, and a Renaissance Faire-esque dinner banquet between faculty and students where everyone wears costumes. Don't think I didn't just search Google for images of this dinner. I was hoping for a goldmine. Sadly, no. (But if anyone out there has photos, I've got a shiny nickel with your name on it.)

Yes, I admit, Westfield State seemingly forgot they have an English Department website. But I can't fault the students, if only because I suddenly realize I know them. Casually. As in I recognize faces. See, the English Honor Society has an international conference every year. A couple years ago it was in Louisville, KY (the hotbed of international intrigue), of which I attended to read a paper of mine. It's attended by hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people. Readings for nonfiction (which I was there for) are attended very well. At the end of my reading, some people from the audience came up to talk with me. Some offered politeness. Some offered praise. Some offered compliments. One such kind person was from Westfield State.

Well, it seems she was the VP of their chapter. Her face is all over the Westfield State English Honors website. Danielle Rice was her name. A pleasant, friendly, cheerful person. So, thank you, Ms. Rice, wherever you are. It was good to have a fellow Massachusetts state schooler there to offer encouraging words. Your kindness has always been remembered.

That's Westfield State College's English Department for you. Cheerful, happy students promoting the college in the best light. The website? Not so much. So, we'll pretend the website doesn't exist in its current form. Purple trees included.

Know Your State College English Departments Simply Based on Their Website, Part One: Salem State College

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It doesn't matter if that foot is wearing busted up Chuck Taylors while the Harvard foot wears Berluti leather loafers. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.

First up: Salem State College

The Salem State College English Department main web site grabs your attention with a stylish home page of orange and blue borders, which gives all the allure and intrigue of The Netherlands without having to travel there. Likewise, the main page offers color photography of a professor reading to students. It's a known fact that 75% of all college students don't read the assignment given by a professor, so Salem State's English Department is nothing if not practical with their photography choices.

The Welcome! refers to English majors as "knowledge-workers." What this means exactly isn't defined. I'll try that one the next time I'm in a job interview though. Likewise, right below the Welcome! we're told Salem State's English Department has declared Sarah Orne Jewett as their writer of the year. Considering that Jewett has been dead since 1909, this can't come a moment too soon.

Diving a little deeper, the News and Events page lets us know that...umm...err...well, no event is planned all year. That's okay though, because I'm sure they're just going for a very minimalist vibe, which is all the rage. They're like the Raymond Carver of web pages--cutting things down to just their core.

Salem State's English Department, like all good English Departments, runs a writing center, which they cleverly name The Writing Center. (Again, with the minimalist vibe.) They quote one happy user of The Writing Center, a gentleman named "Senior, Criminal Justice," who has this to say about his experience: "The Center can help all students, even the best of writers." I hope Cormac McCarthy is listening.

When it comes to their English Department In the Community...yeeeaah, about that. It's probably best if we skip that.

The real bread and butter of Salem State's English Department comes through with their Red Skies page. It's kind of like FSC's little Toolbox blog here, except with 50% more romantic title page photography, and 100% less blog-y sarcasm. Look at that photo. It almost inspires someone to spontaneously burst out into some Christopher Cross songs.

Ahh, that does the trick.

Red Skies isn't entirely run by the English majors at the college. Math and International Business majors apparently work on it, too, which is smart thinking on Salem State's part. It shows we English majors aren't an elitist bunch. Okay, so, sure, we are an elitist bunch, but it's good to be friendly to others. If anything, Red Skies actually has a pulse, and a steady one at that. It posts news-y type stories around campus, while also publishing poetry and creative writing pieces from those with the Salem State College community--AND lets you know about some local establishments in the Salem, MA, area you should check out. It's like a Zagat Guide, except it's actually readable. We would do that for Fitchburg, but all we have is McDonald's. Red Skies is also willing to post letters emailed in, except they "reserve the right to edit all letters for length, spelling, and usage." That's a mistake if you ask me. If some random person writes an angry letter full of typos, you should publish it all in its mildly illiterate glory. It only promotes the need for an English Department more.

So, here's to you, Salem State College English Department. Your Red Skies shall forever be the Toolbox's sibling. May your own Chuck Taylors never trip you up.

Now, get going on the Sarah Orne Jewett party. No rush though. She'll still be dead for another hundred years most likely.