47 was always my favorite number anyway.

Are you an English major who has found that the quality of vitriol aimed at your major/degree of choice isn't as creative and passionate as you hoped? Have you looked with envy at the Norwegian Art History majors and the ridicule they receive and wondered, "What do I have to do to receive such mocking sarcasm from the outside world?"

Payscale.com has heard your cries. They offer facts so that you, too, can feel the bitter sting of sarcasm over your educational track of choice. No longer shall the Hospitality and Tourism majors get all the scorn from their friends and family. Now you can point to some statistics to drive home the message that, yes, indeed, you look forward to a life of financial peril.

Payscale releases an annual report that ranks the starting and mid-career salaries for (not really) every major. And, as you can see from this top-ten list, your affinity for the written word is going to pay off huge.

Best Undergrad College Degrees By Salary

Methodology Annual pay for Bachelors graduates without higher degrees. Typical starting graduates have 2 years of experience; mid-career have 15 years. See full methodology for more.

Of course, that is if the written word you have an affinity for is "engineering." You know that kid who aced the long division test in third grade while you squeaked by? He's making $50k+ the second he gets a diploma.

So what of our English major brethren? Well, a not-so-quick scanning of the Payscale list says we come in at a cool #47, right behind Radio and Television majors, and a bit ahead of Forestry majors. You heard right: Smoky the Bear not only helps prevent forest fires, he also prevents you retiring before the age of 80.

As for popular jobs for an English major:

Popular Careers for English Majors

Methodology Jobs ranked by popularity among graduates. Annual pay for Bachelors graduates without higher degrees from all colleges.  See full methodology for more.

That list looked okay until Retail Store Manager came up. Those dreams of someday being the second shift store manager at Lane Bryant just got a little closer to reality, friends. Admittedly, the list does continue after the top ten to mention writing and editing jobs. That's not to say those Lane Bryant dreams need to be put on hold. If there's anything I'm here for, it's to tell you to strive for what you believe in. I just happen to believe that Lane Bryant makes fashionable plus-sized clothing for today's modern woman.

Not all is bad news: Payscale ranks the best schools by region for making money once you graduate. In the Northeast Region, Fitchburg State College ranks 150th. That would sound rather humiliating, except we're only the third state college out of Massachusetts to crack the list. Put another way: we might not be the homecoming queen, but at least we got invited to the prom.

In the end, you're an English major because you're quirky and like to read/write. And maybe--just maybe--you want to wake up every day not hating your job like some of those engineering majors might. Still depressed? Here's the chart for top ten jobs for a History major:

Popular Jobs for History Majors

Methodology Jobs ranked by popularity among graduates. Annual pay for Bachelors graduates without higher degrees from all colleges.  See full methodology for more.

That's right. History major graduates might be aiming too high for that Retail Manager job you just snagged as an English major. Hey, someone needs to get you coffee. Plus, you stand a better than 50/50 shot that they'll understand your Shakespeare references during your lunch break.

Know Your State College English Departments Simply Based on Their Website, Part One: Salem State College

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It doesn't matter if that foot is wearing busted up Chuck Taylors while the Harvard foot wears Berluti leather loafers. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.

First up: Salem State College

The Salem State College English Department main web site grabs your attention with a stylish home page of orange and blue borders, which gives all the allure and intrigue of The Netherlands without having to travel there. Likewise, the main page offers color photography of a professor reading to students. It's a known fact that 75% of all college students don't read the assignment given by a professor, so Salem State's English Department is nothing if not practical with their photography choices.

The Welcome! refers to English majors as "knowledge-workers." What this means exactly isn't defined. I'll try that one the next time I'm in a job interview though. Likewise, right below the Welcome! we're told Salem State's English Department has declared Sarah Orne Jewett as their writer of the year. Considering that Jewett has been dead since 1909, this can't come a moment too soon.

Diving a little deeper, the News and Events page lets us know that...umm...err...well, no event is planned all year. That's okay though, because I'm sure they're just going for a very minimalist vibe, which is all the rage. They're like the Raymond Carver of web pages--cutting things down to just their core.

Salem State's English Department, like all good English Departments, runs a writing center, which they cleverly name The Writing Center. (Again, with the minimalist vibe.) They quote one happy user of The Writing Center, a gentleman named "Senior, Criminal Justice," who has this to say about his experience: "The Center can help all students, even the best of writers." I hope Cormac McCarthy is listening.

When it comes to their English Department In the Community...yeeeaah, about that. It's probably best if we skip that.

The real bread and butter of Salem State's English Department comes through with their Red Skies page. It's kind of like FSC's little Toolbox blog here, except with 50% more romantic title page photography, and 100% less blog-y sarcasm. Look at that photo. It almost inspires someone to spontaneously burst out into some Christopher Cross songs.

Ahh, that does the trick.

Red Skies isn't entirely run by the English majors at the college. Math and International Business majors apparently work on it, too, which is smart thinking on Salem State's part. It shows we English majors aren't an elitist bunch. Okay, so, sure, we are an elitist bunch, but it's good to be friendly to others. If anything, Red Skies actually has a pulse, and a steady one at that. It posts news-y type stories around campus, while also publishing poetry and creative writing pieces from those with the Salem State College community--AND lets you know about some local establishments in the Salem, MA, area you should check out. It's like a Zagat Guide, except it's actually readable. We would do that for Fitchburg, but all we have is McDonald's. Red Skies is also willing to post letters emailed in, except they "reserve the right to edit all letters for length, spelling, and usage." That's a mistake if you ask me. If some random person writes an angry letter full of typos, you should publish it all in its mildly illiterate glory. It only promotes the need for an English Department more.

So, here's to you, Salem State College English Department. Your Red Skies shall forever be the Toolbox's sibling. May your own Chuck Taylors never trip you up.

Now, get going on the Sarah Orne Jewett party. No rush though. She'll still be dead for another hundred years most likely.