Know Your State College/University English Departments Simply Based on Their Website, Part Six: Fitchburg State University

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges / universities are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college / university brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges / universities and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.

Next Up: Fitchburg State University

At some point since the start of this series of state college English department bios, state colleges ceased being state colleges. They're now state universities. Why? I don't know. Nothing changed except the name. That and sweatshirts. I can't find a sweatshirt with "FSC" on it for the life of me--which means I really regret holding out all those years I was a student hoping they'd have my size on the clearance rack. That's the sort of collateral damage that politicians never think of when they make moves like this.

At the same time, the FSC/U English Department decided to drastically makeover their website. If I did this review six month ago I'd have mentioned...

a.) That the website was in a mood-altering shade of blue, the likes of which only Picasso in the depths of depression could have appreciated.

b.) It had some really old information listed, such as news that President Lincoln was planning on attending a brand new play at the Ford Theater.

c.) Links led nowhere, which was actually great for people with low expectations.

d.) That the website was really blue. Oddly blue. Freakishly blue. Like you held your breath too long blue. Like the chubby girl in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who eats candy against the rules kind of blue. Like Paul Newman's eyes kind of blue. (Ask your grandma what I mean. She'll probably start involuntarily fanning herself while thinking how dreamy his peepers were.)

Now, the website is--how do I say this without sounding like bribery happened behind the scenes?--real. Good, too. Not in an ambiguous kind of good either--like when someone asks you how your day is, and you reflexively mumble "Good" during a momentary lapse in proper English. But good good. And really real.

First off, they changed the banner photo to this:
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Is that ivy? I don't know. Plants were never my thing. Otherwise I'd be a botanist right now. But assuming it's ivy, that's quite crafty subliminal messaging going on. Ivy League? Ivy photography? It's only one word off, which means you're as good as 50% on your way to a degree at Harvard. This is a huge step up over Westfield State (the allure of purple trees!) and Salem State (the professors read so students don't have to).

The Fitchburg State website is up-to-date on everything. 2010/11's president of the English Honors Society? It's actually 2010/11's president--and not 2003's. The Department News? Really relevant news. Undergraduate program descriptions? It actually clarifies that things changed in 2008. Even more noteworthy, the four objectives they list for the English program are so precisely thought out to such an extent that it muzzles my sarcasm.

Did I mention the school newspaper? It's now online and paper-free. (Environmentally conscious? More like budgetary conscious.) And it's updated all the time, and not nearly as dry as you might expect a school newspaper to sound. Unlike some schools, they're not ashamed to include the campus police log. Including this gem:

Wednesday, November 3rd:
3:47 p.m. – North Street: Two juveniles giving the finger to passing motorist; Campus Police dispatched and spoke to same.

Fitchburg, MA = a den of criminal activity.

The FSU English Department also hosts a blog, called The Toolbox--((we're diving into the looking glass...))--the only English Department blog by any state school in Massachusetts. (Psst: you're reading it now.) Which isn't saying much. It's like saying you're the only kid in preschool who doesn't eat paste. But someone has to be first with these sorts of things. FSU leads with blogging.

And all of the old blue? Now changed--subtly though--to the school colors of white, green, and gold. You no longer need a pep talk and a hug after viewing the English Department website.

Note: You might claim this review is biased. Except I have no reason to be biased. For one, I've never passed up a chance to put my foot in my mouth and mildly offend someone. Secondly, I don't attend FSU any longer. I'm Boston College's headache. They're the ones grading me these days. I'm just FSU's Ghost of Christmas Past that haunts their website. They only give me free reign to run this blog. (And by free I mean they pay me nothing. Pssh.)