Know Your State College English Departments Simply Based on Their Website, Part Five: Bridgewater State College

State schools are plucky. Massachusetts state colleges are pluckier than most. When you're the (sort of) next door neighbor to the Harvards and M.I.T.s of the world, you need to put your best foot forward to get recognized. It's all in the presentation. So, in an attempt to learn more about our Massachusetts state college brethren, it's time to examine the English department websites of all state colleges and see what they put out there to the general public for all to learn about them.





Next Up: Bridgewater State College

Sometimes becoming an English major can seem like a daunting task. Maybe grammar isn't your strong suit, writing might be a weak point, and maybe spelling polysyllabic words befuddle you because you can't even spell or say the word "polysyllabic" to begin with.

Good news then! The Chair of the Bridgewater State College English Department wants you to know, eh, the rules of grammar can trip him up, too, especially in his welcome letter. Such as when he uses a hyphen when he should use an (e)m-dash, or when he randomly indents a paragraph late in his welcome for no discernible reason other than to see if you're paying attention. If you're an English major with Bridgewater State College, does pointing these errors out to him guarantee you'll graduate Summa Cum Laude? Yeah, sure, why not?

The Department also offers its own version of an English honors program. According to their website (my comments in parentheses):

By pursuing Honors, inspired students (all others--little lackluster, to be blunt) can reach their highest potential (Isn't potential like love or joy or annoyance? Can it actually be measured?) through critical thinking, scholarship, and inquiry. Close student-faculty relations (who's buying dinner?) and intensive research provide for the vigorous and thorough exchange of ideas (Team Edward or Team Jacob??), and offer students an opportunity to broaden their knowledge and experience (as would working as a janitor--or a mechanic--or a greeting card employee--or a maid).

If working hard for an Honors program isn't your idea of a good time, there's The Bridge--BSC's literary journal showcasing...ummm...give me a second here...((((looks))))...yeah, I got nothing. I'm guessing you can write anything. I'll go with haikus. Everyone loves a haiku. Oh, but there is a mission statement!

Mission statement (my charm in parentheses):
The Bridge is managed entirely by students. Our charge is to serve (sounds very politician-y), as we are dedicated to showcasing the artistic talents of the student body (fingers crossed on the haikus...) while providing internships in editing and in graphic design. Our goal is to excel (cue: politician closed-fist thumb thrust into the camera), as we wish to pay a debt to our alumni (just stop borrowing their money), keep a promise to ourselves (annnnd that would be--?), and set an example for our successors (...on how to take yourselves too seriously).

According to the "About" tab, eighteen people worked on the staff of The Bridge for their latest installment--fourteen students, two alumni, and two faculty. I'm guessing that means each person was in charge of reading half a haiku?

Confession time: I worked as an editor for FSC's literary journal, Route 2, this past year. I'm biased. In that sweet sort of bias though, like mothers to their children and grandmothers to brands of mayonnaise. We had a staff of four at Route 2. Usually only three worked at a time. It can be a mildly hectic job for three/four, but more than doable. But where is BSC getting 18 editors?? When did they become the New Yorker or Atlantic Monthly? Is it so they could all self-edit their own self-submissions? Are some editors only editing coffee orders? Who's in charge of foot rubs? How does this work? Who will answer me?

Most importantly, what was this "promise" they had to keep? It sounds like they've plagiarized Robert Frost. They're being secretive--and no one likes secrets. That's so high school, minus the whole getting-stuffed-in-lockers type thing.