Sportswriter loses bet, picks up $2,100 dinner tab for billionaire and his wife.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics states that the median salary for an average newspaper reporter in the United States is $36,360. A reporter's average salary usually maxes out at roughly $81,580--and that's not for any old reporter. That's for a Scoops McGee type person, someone with the fifty years' weight of misery, shame, and newspaper ink holding them down. Cigars, high-waist khakis, and a pocket full of back alley sources are their M.O. And Scoops still has to own a 15-year old, 250,000 mile Chevy Impala on his salary.

Tim Kawakami is one such writer. He works at the San Jose Mercury News covering sports, and recently recounted on a podcast how he made a joking bet that the San Francisco 49ers' billionaire owner Jed York wouldn't have the team's new stadium built by a random 2014 deadline. A chuckly ha-ha was had by all.

Except the stadium was built by 2014. Except Kawakami still agreed to buy dinner. Except York wanted that dinner. Except York was bringing his wife along, too. Except everyone agreed to go to The French Laundry for the dinner.

[[[pause]]]

If you don't know, The French Laundry makes for a once-in-a-lifetime dining experience. It is also like pouring kerosene on your life's savings and smoking feverishly around the fumes. Reading the wine list alone will take the rest of your afternoon to cover. Looking for that casual $50,000 bottle of wine? It's there, my friend. "Screaming Eagle Vineyards." Hotkey search that. Then double-check your credit limit.

[[[end pause]]]

The problem Kawakami had with the whole situation wasn't that he paid off the non-binding bet, but that York didn't seem to register the impact of such a meal on a measly sportswriter income, at The French Laundry no less. As Kawakami recounts:

"If I thought Jed [York] was sticking it to me, I’d almost be okay with it. I don’t even think he knew. I don’t think he knew what $2,100 means to a sportswriter who didn’t inherit a billion-dollar team."

That's right. The 36-year old York is a billionaire because grandpa was one, and such stacks of cash get passed down two generations. And, as I told you, check that wine list out. It's $310 a person for food The French Laundry. Three people = $930. (Service is included.) York cranked out another $1,200 on Kawakami through drink, but was oblivious.

Maybe York was oblivious that there was a $50,000 bottle available on hand. Things could have snowballed so much more rapidly.

Kendall and Kylie Jenner release cover for their upcoming YA novel.

First came the reality television show, then came a clothing line, followed by a shoe and handbag company. Now the Kardashian clan's youngest members, Kendall and Kylie Jenner, are taking the next logical step and becoming young adult novel authors.

Entitled Rebels: City of Indra, Kendall tells The Daily Mail that "'Kylie and I love the creative challenge and are thrilled to have been given the opportunity to share this story."

The publisher, Karen Hunter, has released the book cover as a tease, which channels everything magical of a 1984 Flock of Seagulls album.

Of course the book is co-written, apparently by someone named Maya Sloan.
'Maya Sloan' also sounds like the name of a crack private investigator with a tough exterior but a heart of gold.

Ten "Supersmart" Rock Musicians.

Time Magazine has a list of ten rock musicians they classify as "supersmart."

The definition of "supersmart" is vague (they earned a degree or two in college? they read music? they know how to leave a tip at a restaurant?), but that doesn't stop Time from handing out awards for supersmartness.

Dexter Holland (The Offspring), Brian May (Queen), and Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine) are the most well-known.

While Dexter Holland has a Master's Degree, and Brian May owns a Ph.D, Morello's claim to fame is that he was "a bright student" in high school, according to Time, and went to Harvard. I'm sure his "brightness" has nothing to do with his dad being the first-ever Kenyan ambassador to the United Nations. Harvard turns a blind eye to that sort of stuff.

The rest of the list is filled with a who's who of who? Tom Scholz, Colin Greenwood, Laurie Anderson, Sterling Morrison, Robert Leonard, and John Perry Barlow round out the rest of the A+ talent.

Put another way, if you put those last folks in a band together, they'd be playing in Del Boca Vista at the local VFW hall for some poor sap's bar mitzvah.



photo: The Sun.

Yeah, Brian...it's okay to cut the hair now. 1977 has come and gone.

Washington, DC, is most literate city in America, says study that blames you for not reading the newspaper.

Did you know there is no universal, worldwide definition for what constitutes literacy? It's pretty much up to any country, organization, university, library, or Oprah's book club to decide if you qualify as literate. Don't believe me? The CIA (yes, that CIA) even states as much in their own literacy database.

That doesn't stop Central Connecticut University (potential school slogan: "Centrally located on your drive between Boston and New York City!") from proudly declaring that Washington, DC, is the most literate city in America. This is a shocking development, considering that only recently it was pointed out that Washington, DC, area sports teams are confused by the awesome complexities of how vowels work.

Central Connecticut University based their study on very high-minded reasoning:


1.) Newspaper circulation (hahaha...ha...sorry)
2.) Number of bookstores
3.) Library resources
4.) Periodical resources
5.) Educational attainment
6.) Internet resources.

CCU says this measures a society's "use of literacy." It's very noble of them to use newspaper circulation then. Very old-timey and nostalgic if you ask me. You half expect a reporter named Scoops McGee wrote this story using his typewriter and then transmitted it via Western Union Telegraph.

Washington, DC, is literate...STOP.
Central Connecticut University cites newspapers...STOP.
FDR promotes war bonds to finance push in Pacific...STOP.
Greta Garbo becomes more reclusive by the day...STOP.