The list about America's most and least literate cities has little to do with actual literacy rates.

Central Connecticut State University has come out with their annual list of most and least literate American cities, a collection of urban centers ranked according to...uhh...how often they use a Kindle? How often they rent books from a library? How many bookstores they have? Newspaper circulations? College degrees attained?

In essence, the focus is supposed to be on how a city reads, not if the city can actually read. If you're illiterate, yet borrowing books from the library, you're considered literate based on this study.

The lists:

Most:
1.  Washington, D.C.
2.  Seattle, WA
3.  Minneapolis, MN
4.  Atlanta, GA
5.  Pittsburgh, PA
6.  Denver, CO
7.  St. Paul MN
8.  Boston, MA
9.  St. Louis, MO
10.  San Francisco, CA


Least:
1.  Bakersfield, CA
2.  Corpus Christi, TX
3.  Stockton, CA
4.  El Paso, TX
5.  San Antonio, TX
6.  Anaheim, CA
7.  Chula Vista, CA
8.  Fresno, CA
9.  Aurora, CO
10.  Mesa, AZ


Clearly, Alabama needs to step up its game if the rest of America is going to keep mocking it.





Also, California being an illiterate mess? It might be because of state budgetary issues, where state funding has crippled local libraries, shuttering them recently. That hardly makes millions of Californians crippled readers.

Washington, DC, is most literate city in America, says study that blames you for not reading the newspaper.

Did you know there is no universal, worldwide definition for what constitutes literacy? It's pretty much up to any country, organization, university, library, or Oprah's book club to decide if you qualify as literate. Don't believe me? The CIA (yes, that CIA) even states as much in their own literacy database.

That doesn't stop Central Connecticut University (potential school slogan: "Centrally located on your drive between Boston and New York City!") from proudly declaring that Washington, DC, is the most literate city in America. This is a shocking development, considering that only recently it was pointed out that Washington, DC, area sports teams are confused by the awesome complexities of how vowels work.

Central Connecticut University based their study on very high-minded reasoning:


1.) Newspaper circulation (hahaha...ha...sorry)
2.) Number of bookstores
3.) Library resources
4.) Periodical resources
5.) Educational attainment
6.) Internet resources.

CCU says this measures a society's "use of literacy." It's very noble of them to use newspaper circulation then. Very old-timey and nostalgic if you ask me. You half expect a reporter named Scoops McGee wrote this story using his typewriter and then transmitted it via Western Union Telegraph.

Washington, DC, is literate...STOP.
Central Connecticut University cites newspapers...STOP.
FDR promotes war bonds to finance push in Pacific...STOP.
Greta Garbo becomes more reclusive by the day...STOP.