This Week in Science!!!

A career in writing will lead to premature aging and a healthy dose of personal humiliation. But science and medicine is where you'll make money, fame, and the respect of your parents. As a result, we might as well pay attention to what they're doing in those fields.

So it's time to take another peak at anything going on in the world of science and medicine this week.


Starting off with:  Club beats at the deepest spot on Earth.

story one:
The Mariana Trench needs to tone it down.





Researchers at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and Oregon State University dropped a titanium encased hydrophone that could withstand the crushing pressure of 16,000lbs per square inch at the bottom of the deepest spot on Earth--Challenger Deep within the Mariana Trench. Then they listened for twenty-three consecutive days and recorded the first sounds humanity has ever heard so far into the planet.

Nearly seven miles (36,000ft) below the surface, a category-4 typhoon can be heard echoing high above. A passing ship's propellers pulse by. A magnitude-5 earthquake vibrates the ocean's waters, surrounded by a rhythmic whale hum. And, if you listen closely, Nemo and Dory are wondering what all the fuss is about.

Listening to the sound clips can feel mildly haunting, like the one above of the whale hum before and after an earthquake. Then you realize the whale was just moseying by and singing a tune right after the earthquake rolls through, and you understand whales have different priorities in life. Like enjoying good dubstep.



story two:
Polish chemists are trying to kill Superman!!!

Poland's next great superpower.

A group of Polish chemists tried to create kryptonite, the one thing that can incapacitate Superman--as we all know Eastern Europeans are in the pocket of Lex Luthor. Because this is Poland though, the chemists ultimately failed, continuing a centuries-long tradition of Polish jokes.

The attempt at dabbling in comic book chemistry actually resulted in a discovery of sorts. The chemists initially took the known element of krypton, one of the inert elements, and successfully bonded it to oxygen, creating krypton monoxide. Considering that krypton was thought to be unreactive to everything, the fact it can be bonded to anything is a huge step. Toward what, I don't know. Let's assume toward siding with Batman.

As a result, now in a comparison between you and a collection of krypton, you'll be the more inert element.



story three:
Scientists have discovered the gene linked to grey hair!!!

Heavy hair mojo.

In news that shook Clairol and Just for Men to their very core, scientists have discovered the gene that is linked to grey hair. Called IRF4, and sitting on chromosome six, the gene regulates natural pigments in the skin, hair, and eye, and is one gateway to knowing why your hair changes to grey. Surprisingly, it's not because of your annoying in-laws. Not solely, at least.

Not that they can manipulate the gene to reverse your grey just yet. Scientists know the gene linked to balding after all, and Rogaine isn't batting an eye. But the news is the first time a gene has been linked to George Clooney's hair mojo, so it's a start.

During this research into the greying gene, scientists also discovered the gene for beard thickness and unibrows.

That's right. Unibrows no longer need to fear tweezers, a waxer, threader, or public scorn. Unibrows need to fear lab coats.




story four:
Male rats in a bromance tend to have lower stress levels!!!

You got the queso, bro?

You know how it starts. You're a male rat. If you're not working gutters and dumpsters for a meal out on the streets, you're in a laboratory waiting to be injected with some horrible disease.

But maybe you meet a fellow male rat. Dave. He understands the struggle, too. You both talk. You have a beer. You share your worries over mildly stressful events. A bromance blossoms. And the next thing you know, you're in a rat fantasy football league or trading seven-layer dip recipes before major sporting events. You suddenly feel slightly better about your rat life!

In essence, researchers have discovered that male rats, when studied under mild to moderate stress, became more social, huddled and touched more in their cages, and saw an increase in their oxytocin levels, which led to healthier lives overall. The study at the University of California-Berkeley also found that extreme levels of stress had the opposite reaction on the rats, causing them to withdraw and stop answering texts or phone calls from Dave, because Dave just doesn't get you anymore.

Dave was more an acquaintance anyway.

Admittedly, the Joker works pretty well as a court jester.

London's Telegraph newspaper gives us a gallery of what a variety of geekdom heroes and villains would look like if dressed in a 16th century makeover, courtesy of photographer Sacha Goldberg. Because I think we all knew that Shakespeare's real weak spot was missing out on including Spiderman in Hamlet, amiright?

Goldberg's attempt was to combine American cultural icons with those of the Flemish painting style of the 1500s. The project wasn't a small endeavor, with over 100 people involved, when you include models, costume designers, hairdressers, and makeup artists.

In case you're wondering--Spiderman is mildly frightening in 16th century garb. It borders somewhere between a sadism suit and half the nightmares I had as a child.




photos: The Telegraph

San Francisco Chronicle works with Make-A-Wish Foundation, uses front page to help in massive effort to make kid feel like Batman for a day.

A 5-year old boy from suburban San Francisco with lymphoblastic leukemia has spent all day today fighting the Riddler and Penguin as he takes on the role of Batman, through the help of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

The young boy, Miles (last name withheld by the family), asked for his one wish to be Batman for the day. The Make-A-Wish Foundation's Bay Area executive director, Patricia Wilson, knew it could happen. What Wilson didn't know, however, was how much the city of San Francisco would adopt the identity of Gotham for a day and live out Miles' wish.

At 9:30am this morning, local stations had breaking news of the police commissioner needing Batman's (now named 'Batkid') help to solve crime.

A damsel in distress will be tied to the Hyde Street cable car line, where Batkid can save her. Later, the Puzzler (the Riddler's non-trademark infringement equivalent) will rob a bank vault, which Batkid can stop.

While eating lunch at Burger Bar, the police commissioner will call Batkid and tell him to look out a window--where thousands of volunteers down below in San Francisco's Union Square will scream up to help them. Why? Another villain will be in the process of kidnapping a local sports mascot.

After all of this, Batkid will be invited to City Hall, where he'll be given the keys to the city by the mayor, and thanked by government officials and the public alike for all of his help over the day.

At the end of it all, the San Francisco Chronicle will devote its front page tomorrow morning (seen here) to the exploits of Batkid, with various articles written by a who's-who of comic book newspaper writers. The line-up? Lois Lane, Brenda Starr, Perry White, with the lead story written by Clark Kent.

Leave it to Perry White to blow Batkid's identity.

Even Superman is quitting the newspaper business.

The Daily Planet has hired Clark Kent as a reporter since 1940, but even Superman has his limits.

In the latest issue of the comic franchise, Clark Kent channels the feelings of everyone in middle management and goes on a diatribe at work--culminating in his quitting the newspaper business.

If you worked at the same place for 72 years and had a meager 401k plan, you'd probably quit, too.

Superman writer Scott Lobdell tells USA Today, "[Superman] is more likely to start the next Huffington Post or the next Drudge Report than he is to go find someone else to get assignments or draw a paycheck from."

Maybe Superman should look into a job at Newsweek?





photo: DC Comics, where apparently Superman lets out his anger on internet servers.

Conan the Barbarian probably doesn't appreciate late papers.

Conan the Barbarian has had an illustrious career. Who can forget the time he helped destroy the Aquilonian outpost of Venarium, or the time he battled the ape man, Thak? I know I won't.

But times have changed. Conan has a Ph.D now, based off a dissertation entitled: "To Hear the Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature." According to a cached version of the Trinity College website, Conan is now a professor at the Dublin college, teaching among other things:

Vengeance for Beginners
The Relevance of Crom in the Modern World
Theories of Literature
Deciphering the Riddle of Steel
D.H. Lawrence

He earned his position at the college "after successfully decapitating his predecessor in a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song."

Of course, the Trinity College website is cached because it doesn't exist anymore. Trinity took it down. Their English department website was hacked.

Which is disappointing. I was looking forward to a class next spring called "Pillaging: The Plagiarism of the Land."

Sounds like superhero discrimination to me.

The British are nothing if not crafty. Americans are nothing if not slow to hear about things. Here the two shall meet.

Apparently there's a wee little village in England called Westbury-sub-Mendip that has taken do-it-yourself crafts to a new level. They bought a retired phone booth for one pound, and converted it into a library. The BBC reported this back in November. But we're located in New England, where I like to think our folksy demeanor and casual attitude means we're allowed a two month window to report on such things.

As the photo suggests, it's a bit cramped in this library. According to the BBC, the library rules aren't stuffy. Simply bring a book and replace the one you take. Admittedly, selection is a bit thin, but there's a solid chance you'll only have yourself to blame.

What this story really shows is that Superman once again gets shafted by the general public. The poor man just wants to save lives and get changed in a semi-private phone booth, preferably without you and your grandma scoping out the latest racy tome available while he pulls on his tights. Alas, if we must discriminate against superheroes in order to create more libraries...well...sorry, Batman. Your cave is next.