Worrrrrd.

The New Oxford American Dictionary came out with their "Word of the Year" for 2009. The word:

unfriend: verb -- To remove someone as a 'friend' on a social networking site, such as Facebook.

Seems acceptable, albeit it a few years late. There are two things you need to know about the Oxford folks when it comes to these words:

1.) These are words that are generally made up.

2.) Odds are you've never heard of most of them.

Now, "Word of the Year" would sound like something that must be hugely popular--a word that is in the hearts and minds of everyone. It should be so timeless that we all remember the word of the year from last year. Of course, you remember the 2008 word was--uhh--give me a second to find it--it's got to be around here somewhere--ahh, something called a "hypermiling."

I thought it referred to speed walkers. You know, those people who are horrifically bony, who wear the super short-shorts made popular in the 1980s by Larry Bird's pasty gams, who flail their elbows as if they're at a Wal-Mart door-buster sale the day after Thanksgiving? Those people.

Except "hypermiling" doesn't refer to them. No. It's a verb that means to try and extend the miles-per-gallon abilities of your car. Well, that's not nearly as interesting as speed walkers. That's a letdown.

Apparently there are runner-ups ("runners-up"? Which is it?) for the 2009 Word of the Year.

From the Technology word category, some runner(s)-ups are:

1.) hashtag: formerly known as a pound sign (#), now re-christened because of Twitter. (So, in essence, it's a pound sign after a facelift and a name change. Kind of like Prince.)

2.) intexticated: being distracted while driving because of texting or talking while on a cellphone. (I can honestly say I've never heard of this word before. I'm as cutting edge as a spoon it seems.)

3.) sexting: sending sexually explicit texts via cellphone. (My personal favorite. As a word that is.)

From the Economic word category, some runner(s)-ups are:

1.) freemium: a business model in which basic services are offered for free, while trying to lure customers to purchase premium add-ons. (If you haven't picked up on it yet, what we have going on here are new words created by blending two other words. You, too, can be a word genius and create your own word using this methodology. Someone rich but acts poor? They're "roor." Maybe?)

2.) funemployed: taking advantage of ones newly unemployed status to have fun and pursue similar activities. (Really? Really now?? "Funemployed"? It must be the crowd I hang out with. We're economic misfits with empty bank accounts. The only unemployed fun we'd have would be to see who could stave off hypothermia the longest once the heat was shut off.)

From the Politics and Current Affairs word category, some runner(s)-ups are:

1.) birthers: conspiracy theorists who challenge Barack Obama's place of birth. (I prefer to call all conspiracy theorists of any stripe "moonbats.")

2.) choice mom: a person who chooses to be a single mom. (This reminds me too much of being at the deli and looking for choice cuts of meat. Just saying.)

3.) teabagger: a person who opposes Barack Obama's tax policies, ie: Boston Tea Party. (Uh-huh. Ri-i-i-ight.)

From the Environment word category, some runner(s)-ups are:

1.) green state: a state with strict environmental regulations. (As opposed to Vermont, which simply has the market cornered on Green Mountains.)

2.) ecotown: a town run and built on eco-friendly policies. ("Won't you take me to....Ecotown! Won't you take me to...ECOTOWN!!")

Novelty word runner(s)-ups:

1.) deleb: a dead celebrity. (What if their career is the only thing dead? Like John Travolta's?)

2.) tramp stamp: a tattoo on the lower back. (Clearly, those New Oxford folks have their fingers on the pulse of 1995.)

These words mean nothing. We'll forget 90% of them by next week. In reality, we should be picking words from the 1970s or '80's that have stood the test of time. So, maybe a 30 year buffer from when a word first appeared. The Word of the Year from 1980 would be selected in 2010, for example. Using that, might I suggest "Funkytown"? The word came out--and the song was released--in 1980.

Funkytown? I think we all can agree go to...funkytown.