This Week in Science!!!

Here's the occasional wrap-up of anything noteworthy in the world of science.

Starting with a 100 million-year old murder mystery:

Story One:

Fossilized spider caught red-handed murdering a wasp!!!

Someone contact Dick Wolf, because he might have another addition to the Law & Order franchise. Researchers have found a 100-million-year-old spider attack on a wasp trapped at the moment of murder in frozen amber.

It is the only fossil known of a spider attacking its prey.

According to Oregon State University zoology professor George Poinar, Jr.,"This was a male wasp that suddenly found itself trapped in a spider web. [Ed: Cue dramatic music.] This was the wasp's worst nightmare, and it never ended. [Increase tempo of the violins.] The wasp was watching the spider just as it was about to be attacked [Cue blood-curdling scream.], when tree resin flowed over and captured both of them." [Annnd end scene.]

In other news, zoology professors are third rate horror movie scriptwriters.


Story Two:

'Flying Saucer' from the 1950s was actually clumsy Air Force test vehicle!!!

Declassified Air Force documents from 1956 reveal an attempt by the American government to channel its inner E.T. and build a flying saucer-like vehicle capable of reaching heights of 100,000ft and traveling upwards of 2,880mph.

The project was called "Project 1794," and was contracted to Avro, a Canadian firm, to build it. The end result was a flying saucer that hovered unstably three feet off the ground and never moved faster than 35mph.

Which is all a convenient cover-up for the truth that Canadians are aliens. This explains Vancouver.


Story Three:

'Supermice' are invading Western Europe with super sperm!!!

Researchers have discovered that the Eastern European house mouse has invaded Western Europe and impregnated Western European house mice in the least disturbing variation of raping and pillaging one can describe.

This has led to a hybrid mutant house mouse with super-high sperm counts.

They never explained this side to Mighty Mouse on the Saturday morning cartoons.