Days of Our Lives: product placement so subtle, you hardly notice it.

Soap operas are often known for some of the greatest writing modern civilization has ever known. Would Shakespeare have been a writer for daytime television? Most likely, once he learned the art of nuance.

That's where the Days of Our Lives screenwriter comes in. (You'll find him sobbing at his keyboard.) He's been asked to drop product advertisements right in the middle of his screenplays in the most subtle way possible.

Such as for Wanchai Ferry Chinese Food:



Did grandma just say it has rice, so it'll fill me up? Well, you don't need to twist my arm. As long as she's dishing out seconds, I'm game.

But did someone just mention ChexMix?



The real concern here is why the blond actress is whipping out the Ken's Salad Dressing to serve with the ChexMix. Now, I'm no culinary master, but I tend to prefer ChexMix without some raspberry vinaigrette. A million and one flavors in your mouth might be one flavor too many.

But if you don't feel like eating ChexMix, how about some snacks for the kiddies?



That kid just guaranteed herself a future in the unemployment line. Flubbing lines is one thing. Flubbing lines for a product placement is another.

Maybe she would have done better if she filled herself up with some Cheerios:



That's right--the easiest way to romance is through a box of whole grain oats. Whenever I start a new relationship, I often woo the ladies with some cold cereal. If they play hard to get, I might then dip into some Cream of Wheat.

Eventually your looks wear off and Father Time comes a-knockin'. That doesn't mean you can't keep Cheerios in your life though:



Hmm, it seems that Anderson fella doesn't care about his heart health. Cholesterol is his best friend. I'm just calling it now: when Anderson dies from a heart attack, a character will lean over his casket snacking on Cheerios, sobbing, trying to compose themselves, saying, "He'd have been alive today if...he...((bites their lip and grabs a handful of cereal))...if...he...just ate more Cheerios."

And if you're in a bad mood? Well, sorry. Cheerios can only do so much magic. That's when you need to hit the hard stuff:



Tell me about it. I'm a busy guy between grad school and work. Seems to me Midol is what I'm missing. She's sold me!