Yeah, yeah, yeah--everyone pays attention to Lake Superior State University once a year to see which words and phrases they want to ban from the English language.
But when they're not busy banning words, the Negative Nancy of the North also enjoys burning a snowman (alive?) at the end of every winter.
Even the guy down front can't witness the carnage.
In fact, here's a 45-second nugget from the same event. The laughter, the happiness, the joy as Frosty is torched. Notice how the mob starts burning him right where his heart is. Some morbid poet should run with this idea and write a sonnet on snowman violence.
There's no need to have a presser about this. So, let's have a conversation.
We all know those words and phrases that gain popularity, become an online sensation, and nearly break the internet with their use. It's as if these little vocal tics have a sort of magical secret sauce that makes us all say them. But when they become overly popular it can become problematic. Sometimes, just sometimes, we need to reevaluate the way we talk, look at these words and phrases, and walk it back a bit.
I don't want to hear you say, "Using these words is giving me life!" That just sounds desperate. You might as well relax, vape, have a drink, do a little manspreading on the couch, and relax.
You're part of the human race as well. You're a stakeholder in how we all talk. Everything you say has worth, a price point, so make it sound valuable. Make your words pop and punch people in the mouth, a sort of verbal physicality that takes people back.
I could man up and tell you that Lake Superior State University has no right to ban words. But why refudiate a school's ability to do anything? Sure, Lake Superior State University lacks any wow factor that makes it appealing on a national stage. It's a small school in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. So small that it makes Fitchburg State University look epic in size. But Lake State's back story is that it makes a name for itself by creating a yearly list of words and phrases it wants to ban from the American vernacular. The American people are a stubborn creature, which explains the need for Lake State to take these measures.
I'm just sayin' that Americans beat words and phrases into the ground until they have a collective "a-ha!" moment that lets them know there's only one way to describe the way we talk: fail.
We can blame social media for this. If you facebook various profiles on any social networking site, you'll notice ubiquitous catchphrases, to the extent that it seems language goes viral sometimes. And it's not just between BFFs either. Strangers thousands of miles apart speak the same way, too. You can google random words and phrases and find Justin Bieber's fan clubs using the same keywords as a mama grizzlies' website.
You won't find me talking this way though. I choose to live life to the fullest--and that means never following a crowd.
Psssst: In case you're not a sharp one, all the bold words are this year's banned words and phrases. Because I'm cute like that.
Lake Superior State University (Fitchburg State College's doppelganger of upper Michigan!) apparently released a list of words and phrases they are banning from use. This is the bizarro world version of the New Oxford American Dictionary folks mentioned below. In essence, Lake State bans the words about a year after the Oxford folks create them. Such is the yin/yang of life.
Sometimes they don't even wait a year. Among the words Lake State banned is "unfriend," which is Oxford Dictionary's 2009 word of the year. (Can't we all just get along? No one wants to see geek violence break out.)
Among the other words and phrases banned:
Tweets
Teachable moment
Stimulus
Czar
Chillaxin
Shovel-ready
App
Sexting
In these economic times...
Toxic assets
Too big to fail
Bromance
Obama-(as a prefix)
Then there are the comments left by random people (mainly from the Midwest) about why these words should be banned. This includes a person named Chris Jensen, from Fond du Lac, WI, who has this to say about why "chillaxin'" should be banned:
A made-up word used by annoying Gen-Yers.
Damn right, Chris. How else do you think I ended up running FSC's blog? It took years of chillaxin' as an annoying Gen-Yer to get where I am.
The strange thing about Lake Superior State University creating this list is the matter of their English Department being--how shall we say this?--tiny. They don't even have a sole English Department. They group it with Communications. Total, they have seven professors. Seven! FSC practically has seven secretaries for their English department. (Actually, 21 full-time professors, as well as 16 adjunct English faculty, bringing the grand total to 37. Those college math classes are paying off, see?) Lake State has to be given credit for their chutzpah. Seven total English professors, and they've been banning words and phrases for over 30 years. By this degree of equality, FSC's English Department should feel free to ban not only words, but books, authors, and dozens of forms of literary theory.
One thing Lake State does have over FSC is burning snowmen. That's right. They build a snowman, pad him with paper, and light him up like a Guy Fawkes-wannabe.
Uhhh, yeaaah. Nothing is so tender quite like seeing smiling, harmless, inanimate objects lit ablaze while people hoot. Pyromania is exciting!
Banning words and burning effigies of Frosty the Snowman--theexcitement never ends at Lake State!
