Lexus asked James Patterson to review their car.

"A collaboration between Lexus and James Patterson was the perfect way to bring the experience of the (car) to life, as both a brand and an author who place such high importance on their respective crafts."


So says Michael Canning, the Executive Creative Director at the Australian marketing firm M&C Saatchi. Canning is apparently unaware that James Patterson hands over all the importance of his books to his stable of collaborators, as Patterson hardly writes anything with his name on it. Minor detail.




Regardless, Lexus in Australia will begin airing advertisements with a Patterson voiceover as he mutters out cliché after cliché.

Patterson feels confident, though, as he's quoted saying about the advertising campaign, "At first I wondered why Lexus chose me to review the LC500. But after one drive, I realize a car like no other needs a review like no other."

He added, "I hope it's as breathtaking as any of my best-selling thrillers, because the LC 500 deserves all that and more."

My guess is if anyone lost their breath while reading a Patterson book, it was an asthma attack or an adverse reaction to a peanut allergy--not the book itself.

All I know is that Stephen King is somewhere ready to write an infinitely better review of a Yugo or Datsun on the cheap.