Biblical scholar: Eve was created out of Adam's penis bone, not his rib...wait--what?

Ziony Zevit, a professor of Biblical Literature and Northwest Semitic Languages at the American Jewish University in California, claims we've all misinterpreted the Book of Genesis by one major word.

In case you've forgotten, the Book of Genesis is a fun sitcom origin story of Adam and Eve, the first two humans God created. Hijinks ensue, and a good laugh was had by all as God banishes humans from the Garden of Eden.

God created Eve out of Adam's rib, or so the story goes, because, I don't know, God was running low on human-making supplies. Prof. Zevit disagrees with the rib translation though. The problem is with the Hebrew word 'tsela,' a reference to the bone taken from Adam. Writing in Biblical Archaeology Review, Zevit explains, "This Hebrew word occurs some 40 times in the Hebrew Bible, where it refers to the side of a building or of an altar or ark, a side-chamber, or a branch of a mountain. In each of these instances, it refers to something off-center, lateral to a main structure."

Focus, people! Zevit is getting to the good part.

Through translation and lost languages, Zevit explains further that the word 'tsela' would translate to "limbs lateral to the vertical axis of an erect human body: hands, feet, or, in the case of males, the penis."

And what's the logical conclusion for all of this? Zevit writes, "Of these appendages, the only one lacking a bone is the penis." Oh, that God! Always with the low brow humor!

Well, if there's ever been something off-center with a man, it's his penis.