Malaysian Education Ministry is afraid of gays and lesbians, releases hilarious guidelines on how to detect "homosexual symptoms" in your own child.

Malaysia's Education Ministry recently endorsed an 8-point set of guidelines on how to detect homosexuality percolating in your child, and released the guidelines to 1,500 teachers and administrators at a recent seminar in order so teachers and parents can take early, corrective measures to stop it.

Let's cut to the highlights...

For detecting gays:
1.) Have a muscular body and like to show their body by wearing a v-neck and sleeveless clothes;
2.) Prefer tight and light-coloured clothes;
3.) Attracted to men;
4.) Like to bring big handbags, similar to those used by women, when hanging out.

For detecting lesbians:
1.) Attracted to women;
2.) Besides their female companions, they will distance themselves from other women;
3.) Like to hang out, have meals and sleep in the company of women; and
4.) Have no affection for men.

"Once the children have these symptoms, immediate attention should be given," advises the guidelines.

And, as the Education Minister is quoted as saying, "This can also spread among their friends. We are worried this happens during schooling time."

There's no information on how to detect bisexuals.

You know what the real headline here is? That lesbians are hanging out with women--and then trying to distance themselves from other women. Sneaky little vixens, those lesbians!

What can we learn here? That gay and lesbianism is possibly as contagious as West Nile. Who knows if mosquitoes are carrying it? Get some bug repellent with some extra-strength DEET just in case. Better safe than sorry.

And what's key to remember--and I always forget this myself--is that gay men apparently will always have affection for men. Same goes for lesbians; they only focus on fellow women. I jotted this note down in a steno pad and kept it readily available for safe keeping.




As a side note:
My aunt once bought me a sort of satchel as a gift. What's apparent now is that she was trying to infect me with the gay. Sure, I used the bag--but because I knew she was trying to make me gay, I was able to thwart her gay advances and make the bag heterosexual.



photo: Malaysiakini
Story:Gawker,Gaystar, Malaysiakini