This Week in Science!!!

Here's the occasional wrap-up of anything noteworthy in the world of science.

Starting off with--MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!

Story One:
Space ball lands in Namibia!!!

A metallic ball measuring about 1.1 meters wide landed in a grassland in remote Namibia after plummeting down from space. Locals said they heard small explosions leading up to finding the space ball in a desolate field. Officials notified NASA and the European Space Agency, who are generally noncommittal on what it is.

Man-made? Possibly. Alien invasion? DAMN LIKELY. God help us all.

According to The International Business Times--where I always go to decipher the facts on alien invasions--it might be a fuel tank from a satellite. Who's their expert source? An anonymous commenter to Gawker Media's own story of the space ball who says something along the lines of, "Hey, yo, that looks like a fuel tank to a satellite."

OH! Okay, then. I was worried someone from NASA might lend some insight and sound authoritative. Thank God the source is some anonymous jamoke leaving a comment on a gossip website. Now that's cleared up.

I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords.


Story Two:
Frankincense is doomed!!!

Baby Jesus is going to be stiffed on the gift front from here on out, because frankincense is doomed. According to a study published in the British Journal of Applied Ecology, the population of Boswellia trees (which produce the incense-like frankicense) will probably decrease by 90% within the next 50 years, mostly due to over-forestation, fires, and anything else humankind can do to screw over the Boswellia trees.

Don't worry. Baby Jesus won't even notice the difference if you get him an incense diffuser from Bath & Body Works.




Story Three:
Stephen Hawking wants to hire you!!!

Stephen Hawking (ehhh, look him up if you don't know him; I can't help your ignorance) is looking for someone to maintain the one-of-its-kind computer that generates his synthesized voice.

He posted an ad on his website, and says the job pays £25,000/$38,500 in salary.

That's right--you, too, can have a unique skill and be grossly underpaid. Even with that science degree!





Story Four:
A new island has emerged in the Red Sea!!!

An underwater volcanic eruption has created a new island off Yemen in the Red Sea. Fisherman (who apparently freelance as scientists) reported seeing volcanic activity developing into an island on December 19th. By December 23rd, scientists took satellite photography confirming a smoldering mess bubbling up in the sea.

Newly formed volcanic rock is unstable when buffeted by waves, so many new islands become newly extinct islands overnight, so time will tell if this island remains.

But if that island does hold up, it's going to make for some beautiful waterfront property for vacationing Americans.