But how soon until the special edition Torah?

Too often I've been reading the Bible thinking, "You know what would jazz this up? If Jesus was into race car driving."

Well, I need wait no longer. Jesus--and entrepreneurial marketers--have heard my prayers. According to the company putting this winning idea out:

For fans of stock car racing, this Bible is a must-have. It features commentary and testimonies from some of racing’s most famous names, as well as full-color action photos of some of racing’s most famous faces.

And I bet it also contains some commentary and testimonies from the Bible's most famous names, too. Like Jesus! And Moses! But what really matters with such a Bible is whether Dale Earnhardt Jr. has a full-color photo inside.

What's great is that now you can have NASCAR racing action in all your literary choices. I pointed out a couple months ago how there are NASCAR sponsored romance novels. And now, after you feel dirty from reading those, you can do some repenting by reading the Bible in all its left-hand turning glory. Is action photography of speeding cars frozen in time not enough to get you to buy this Bible? Well, there are three features to this Bible, according to the website:

1.)  Jesus's words are highlighted in red. (Sorry, Moses.)
2.)  Maps are included. (No word on whether the maps are of Daytona and Talladega.)
3.)  Concise Concordance is included. (Eh?)

Is that not enough to sell you? Well, thankfully, they aren't crass and have advertisement using racing puns every 20 seconds to--

Ah, wait, yes they do.



Did he just say God is the "ultimate sponsor"? Hey, let's not be hasty here. Give McDonald's or Sonic a few minutes to up their financial offer before you count them out, okay?