Is that gunfire? Or is it Michael Buble's music that I hear?

Clearly, it goes without saying that Saskatoon is the first thing many people think of when white-hot romance comes to mind, especially in book form. Montreal? Vancouver? Quebec City? That's only if you want puppy love. If you want the scorching, ripped-shirt romance of a Fabio book cover, you need to look to Saskatoon.

According to Canadian newspaper, The Globe and Mail, Saskatoon is the most romantic Canadian city. This is based off an Amazon.ca poll/study/rib-tickler that says Saskatoon is the biggest buyer of romance novels, romantic comedy DVDs, and Michael Buble CDs. And, really, why would you want to count any other musical act besides Michael Buble? You can't doubt the sheer animal magnetism that is Michael Buble's music. His CDs are quite possibly responsible for 25% of all new births that occur within Saskatoon city limits.

For you ignorant Americans who forget Canada isn't the 51st state of the United States, Saskatoon is the equivalent of Nebraska, if Nebraska had a jones for unbridled violence. That's right, Saskatoon is also known as being Canada's most violent metropolis, too. (Put another way: Saskatoon is Baltimore, without the crab cakes.) That makes perfect sense with Saskatoon's new found Lothario status. When you're a lover, you're breaking hearts every day. Heartache leads to irrational acts of violence. Really, if Saskatoon wants to lower its murder rate, it very well might need to ban Michael Buble's music.

As a side note, Windsor, Ontario, ranked as the least romantic Canadian city. I object to this. I've been to Windsor on many occasions, and I can report the auto factories and smoke stacks churning out cars across the river from Detroit do nothing but fill me full of romance. Or carcinogens. It could be carcinogens I'm feeling. It's hard to tell sometimes.