Facts on Fiction: Loose on the facts, firm on the fiction.

I love censorship for one reason: the censoring crowd provides more fun than a carnival--and it's only half as wholesome.

Next up on our worldwide tour of book censorship is the lovely group called Facts on Fiction. Facts on Fiction's main page shows a picture (above) of a woman reading to a bunch of children. As a blonde myself, I can honestly state I haven't seen so many blonde children in one photo since the von Trapp family busted loose out of Austria. Such a photo must mean it's a wholesome website. Blondes are supposed to be wholesome, see? I'm sure that's how I got to run this blog for FSC after all.

Generally, it's run by two women out of Alabama--a state long known for its free speech hippies and free love crowds. It's the San Francisco of the south, really. These two women have a detailed, step-by-step analysis of a variety of issues on each book and how it could impact your child, which they then go on to grade according to some system that is hazy at best. (The book, that is--not your child. Grading children on a variety of criteria is only for judgmental grandparents to do.)

For the Profanity/Language category, they break down language into 11 sub-categories, ranging from the obvious (mild obscenities, sexually suggestive terms) to the "hey, now!" variety (scatological, f-word derivatives). The mild obscenities sub-category might be the most difficult to wrap your head around, especially if you're a fast and loose with language, like myself. According to Facts on Fiction, mild obscenities might include words like (asterisks their own):

h*ll

d*mn

b**bs

fr*ggin

I'll admit, my synapses weren't firing on all cylinders for a second, because when I first saw h*ll and b**bs I thought they meant "hill" and "bulbs." Where's Pat Sajak when you need to buy a vowel?

For example, the book Fahrenheit 451 has more than 30 "mild obscenities" according to Facts on Fiction. It also is off the charts on "Religious Exclamations," which may include:

Jesus!
Jesus Christ!
God!
My God!

Who knew Fahrenheit 451 was full of more religious exclamations than a Sunday church service? It must be because of all the book burning that goes on in that book. I'll give an amen to that. Throw an exclamation point onto it, too, just for good measure.

Facts on Fiction isn't a Negative Nancy about everything though. They do include a link that breaks down "Positive Elements," but they don't seem too thrilled with Fahrenheit 451 on the whole. Out of the five sub-categories of positive elements, they say the book only has one extended incident of a positive personal action. When it comes to "Inspiring characters" who "triumph over adversity and hardship" they say the book is completely devoid of it. 

Damn right! Err...d*mn right! It only has a main character--named Guy Montag--who finds out his employment is slowly killing humanity's knowledge, who reads the very books he's supposed to burn, who has a manhunt chase after him, who escapes to the countryside, and who watches most of humanity perish in an apparent nuclear holocaust they set upon themselves--all while he and a small band of other people memorize books in hopes of allowing humanity to rise from the ashes. Psssh. If there was ever a character that didn't overcome adversity and hardship to inspire people, it's this Montag fella. What a deadbeat!

Thankfully, Facts on Fiction isn't myopic or anything, or they might gloss over such facts for their own agenda.