Plagiarism in the crossword puzzle world will shake your foundation in all that is good in the world.

Right?

Crossword puzzles are cozy, something grandparents and people riding the subway have done for years to pass the time. In a world of ambiguous moral grays, crosswords are literally one of the few things that are black and white.

Just like plagiarism is black and white. You either commit it or you don't. In the world of crossword puzzles, plagiarism is a rarity, mainly because of the whole "puzzle" angle and its complexity toward stealing from someone else for fifteen across, five letters, starts with "t." (Hint: "thief.") Now, though, a scandal has rocked the nebbish crossword world, striking fear into their bowtie community.

Timothy Parker, who edits puzzles for USA Today and for syndication, allegedly stole large elements of New York Times crossword puzzles. The website FiveThirtyEight dove down this rabbit hole, and found nearly 65 identical puzzles with Parker as editor over a 17-year period, or roughly four puzzles a year being, ahem, borrowed from the Times. It wasn't just that Parker was the editor, but the listed writers of the puzzles simply didn't exist.

FiveThirtyEight reached out to Parker, who didn't deny there were striking similarities in the puzzles. "To me, it’s just mere coincidence," Parker told the website. "We don’t look at anybody else’s puzzles or really care about anyone else’s puzzles."

This is like when I tell people it's a mere coincidence that I look like Chris Hemsworth. Sure, it's uncanny, a mere coincidence, but sometimes people can't believe that it isn't Thor writing an obscure blog about books and words and education, that I could have such a ripped physique simply from typing on a laptop and eating Twinkies. Crazier stuff happens. Like crossword puzzles being plagiarized.

Meanwhile, USA Today asked Parker to take a seat while they investigate.

What's a seven letter word for "oops"?

Ah, that's right: jobless.

They'd write anything in a comic book 35 years ago.

I came across old comic books in a store recently and found an issue of Thor from 1980, which was completely lacking in Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman references. WHERE ARE THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE??

In the comic Thor speaks like a 10th grader at a renaissance fair, and wears a lovely helmet with wings. Except here, where the flowing mane is on full display:

Look at that chin! He could slice open envelopes with that thing.

More interesting than Thor's hair and chin? The writing for an advertisement in the comic, which features Iron Man. In seven panes, we get a whole story of gripping action:

Questions abound: Why are the bank robbers wearing blue leotards? Did they not have a snack before starting this? Are the cops wearing bullet-proof vests or are those North Face fleece jackets? And is it just me, or are Iron Man's blue eyes just dreamy?

Wait, wait--what just happened? There just happens to be a stockpile of Hostess Fruit Pies on hand? Or does Iron Man fly around with a backpack full of Hostess products in case of times like this? And why are the fruit pies so massive? They're nearly the size of a kindergartener.

I think we all know this advertisement jumped into absurdity when one of the robbers said he wanted the apple fruit pie. No one wants apple.

Yessss. Let's fly through a wall as opposed to, oh, I don't know, a door or window. And the fruit pies! They're going to be ruined! Look at the sheer look of terror on the robber's face at losing his fruit pie!

And who COULD resist the real fruit filling? You put that in a light, tender crust, and it's a carnival for your mouth.

Except for Iron Man. Because his mouth doesn't move. That's why he looks like he's frowning.

In honor of People Magazine's 'Sexiest Man Alive,' Bustle.com creates a list of sexiest literary characters including Lady Chatterley and...Star Lord?

Chris Hemsworth, a.k.a., Thor, has been named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2014.

This has led Bustle.com (a real website apparently, read by tens of people) to create their list of the sexiest literary characters alive.

The list ranges from the obvious (D.H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley) to the curious (To Kill a Mockingbird's Atticus Finch--Gregory Peck never nebbishly smoldered so much!) to the random (Guardians of the Galaxy's Peter Quill, a.k.a. Star Lord).

I don't know if a comic book qualifies as 'literary.' If that's the case, how come the Incredible Hulk gets no love? Green skin and anger issues are a turn-off? Why the hate?

'Avengers' costumes top list of Halloween outfits.

Good news if you've always wanted to let people know what a Nordic hunk you were underneath that belly flab--dressing up like Thor from The Avengers is a popular choice this Halloween, according to a poll by Fandango.

In fact, all of The Avengers are popular this year. Thor leads the group, followed by Iron Man, Captain America, and the Hulk. [Not Black Widow and Hawkeye, which just look like a couple who had a bad night at Burning Man.] Indeed, superheroes are popular all around with costumes this year, with Batman, Catwoman, Katniss (from The Hunger Games), and Kristen Stewart's version of Snow White all popular choices for dress-up.

Yeah, but wait until everyone sees my costume of Truman Capote where I look like an actuary, circa 1955. It's like the superhero of insurance.