I came across old comic books in a store recently and found an issue of Thor from 1980, which was completely lacking in Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman references. WHERE ARE THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE??
In the comic Thor speaks like a 10th grader at a renaissance fair, and wears a lovely helmet with wings. Except here, where the flowing mane is on full display:
Look at that chin! He could slice open envelopes with that thing.
More interesting than Thor's hair and chin? The writing for an advertisement in the comic, which features Iron Man. In seven panes, we get a whole story of gripping action:
Questions abound: Why are the bank robbers wearing blue leotards? Did they not have a snack before starting this? Are the cops wearing bullet-proof vests or are those North Face fleece jackets? And is it just me, or are Iron Man's blue eyes just dreamy?
Wait, wait--what just happened? There just happens to be a stockpile of Hostess Fruit Pies on hand? Or does Iron Man fly around with a backpack full of Hostess products in case of times like this? And why are the fruit pies so massive? They're nearly the size of a kindergartener.
I think we all know this advertisement jumped into absurdity when one of the robbers said he wanted the apple fruit pie. No one wants apple.
Yessss. Let's fly through a wall as opposed to, oh, I don't know, a door or window. And the fruit pies! They're going to be ruined! Look at the sheer look of terror on the robber's face at losing his fruit pie!
And who COULD resist the real fruit filling? You put that in a light, tender crust, and it's a carnival for your mouth.
Except for Iron Man. Because his mouth doesn't move. That's why he looks like he's frowning.
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