Plagiarism in the crossword puzzle world will shake your foundation in all that is good in the world.

Right?

Crossword puzzles are cozy, something grandparents and people riding the subway have done for years to pass the time. In a world of ambiguous moral grays, crosswords are literally one of the few things that are black and white.

Just like plagiarism is black and white. You either commit it or you don't. In the world of crossword puzzles, plagiarism is a rarity, mainly because of the whole "puzzle" angle and its complexity toward stealing from someone else for fifteen across, five letters, starts with "t." (Hint: "thief.") Now, though, a scandal has rocked the nebbish crossword world, striking fear into their bowtie community.

Timothy Parker, who edits puzzles for USA Today and for syndication, allegedly stole large elements of New York Times crossword puzzles. The website FiveThirtyEight dove down this rabbit hole, and found nearly 65 identical puzzles with Parker as editor over a 17-year period, or roughly four puzzles a year being, ahem, borrowed from the Times. It wasn't just that Parker was the editor, but the listed writers of the puzzles simply didn't exist.

FiveThirtyEight reached out to Parker, who didn't deny there were striking similarities in the puzzles. "To me, it’s just mere coincidence," Parker told the website. "We don’t look at anybody else’s puzzles or really care about anyone else’s puzzles."

This is like when I tell people it's a mere coincidence that I look like Chris Hemsworth. Sure, it's uncanny, a mere coincidence, but sometimes people can't believe that it isn't Thor writing an obscure blog about books and words and education, that I could have such a ripped physique simply from typing on a laptop and eating Twinkies. Crazier stuff happens. Like crossword puzzles being plagiarized.

Meanwhile, USA Today asked Parker to take a seat while they investigate.

What's a seven letter word for "oops"?

Ah, that's right: jobless.