Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist: George Bernard Shaw

This is a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.


Today's budding indie star:  George Bernard Shaw

All your best indie artists stare longingly in a mirror at how fashionable they look. Little did Shaw know that he'd pre-date high school and college women by a hundred years by knowing to place a hand on hip in every potential Facebook or Instagram photo.

The wannabe bowler hat suggests Shaw might sing that song you really want to like, but something about it makes you never want to listen to it.

The abundant wool making up his outfit shows how Shaw doesn't mind being itchy. He'd suggest he's really just suffering for his craft--and he must, especially with socks that extensive, too.

Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist: Samuel Beckett

This is a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.


Today's budding indie star:  Samuel Beckett

Any man with a shock of windswept hair with a skunk's tail streak is channeling his inner indie guitarist vibe straight out of Athens, GA. The peacoat? Seals the deal.

Sure, you see the face of a man incapable of showing any human emotion besides subtle disdain. But you don't get the facial equivalent of a cinnamon bun without smoking three packs-a-day while stressing about absurdist ideas that can be sung without harmony.

Open-mic nights in Cambridge, MA, love music you can't hum.

Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist: James Joyce

This is a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.

Today's budding indie star:  James Joyce

The bow tie and white dinner jacket says, "I like to serve hors-d'oeuvres at weddings that are held at the local country club."

But the eye patch says, "I enjoy reenacting scenes from Peter Pan in front of my living room mirror."

This is the casual look of the lead singer of a small Irish band that plays concerts for tens of people in a dive bar, while cooing and whispering nonsensical songs that run roughly 4-minutes too long.

Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist: William Golding

This is a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.

Today's budding indie star:  William Golding

The Nobel Prize winning writer does his best seaman impression while donning some rakish neckwear. The casual striped shirt offsets the business jacket, a combination that says, "I can sing sensitive singer/songwriter type material."

It's the look of the guy who whips out his guitar at small parties and starts strumming slowly (because he only knows one chord), all the while warbling some song that lacks a melody, all in hopes that people will gather 'round his feet and sway their head lightly in appreciation despite his lack of musical acumen.

Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist: D.H. Lawrence.

This is a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.

Today's budding indie star:  D.H. Lawrence

That smoldering smirk is the man who has all the moody essence of a gentleman who wants to sing a heartbreaking song with acoustic guitar.

The suit coat says, "I'm a banker," but the beard says, "I have a 'Grey's Anatomy' song inside my soul."

Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist?: Allen Ginsberg

This is a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.

Today's budding indie star:  Allen Ginsberg

Button-down shirts and sensible watches--young Ginsberg channels a folksy singer-songwriter vibe largely not seen since Gordon Lightfoot was warbling about sunken freighters on the Great Lakes.

But how did things evolve for Ginsberg?

Good lord, Cat Stevens really let himself go. Any time a small bird can nest in your facial hair, it's a sign you've gone too far.

Ginsberg has the vacant stare of a man who'd fake playing the guitar while fronting a band called "The Nekkids," all the while warbling a nonsensical song that repeatedly tries to rhyme the word 'orange."

Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist?: Jack London

This is a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.

Today's budding indie star:  Jack London

Coiffed wing-dings in the hair and Grandma's dinner napkin as a wannabe ascot, this is a man who could have led a four piece rock band out of the Pacific northwest. The dinner jacket suggests casual bohemian, but the eyes say expert frontman of a band with a name like "Naked Bear" or "Alaskan Gaskets."

Maybe a different look from our indie band Jack London?

A pea coat, longshoreman's cap, and a fantastic inability to smile, he's either Jack London or David Bowie moonlighting as an oyster fisherman.

Famous Writer or Indie Band Artist?: Robert Louis Stevenson

This is the beginning of a segment where we look at famous writers and decide whether they missed their calling as the lead singer for an indie band from Austin, TX.

Because a little facial hair, unkempt clothing, and a stern expression goes a long, long way to being a rock star.

Today's budding indie star:  Robert Louis Stevenson

Apparently Colonel Sanders moonlighted as Robert Louis Stevenson in a younger life.

With the assortment of mismatched rings, the disheveled tie, the velvet jacket--and let's not forget the wonderful mustache and soul patch--if Stevenson was alive today, he'd be fronting a band called "The Islanders," sweating heavily on stage of a small club in Brooklyn, singing songs about colonialism and wooden boats.

Really, that jacket though--even Prince would have second thoughts about that jacket.