Humans have decorated eggs for thousands of years. Just...because.

It's not just your average patron at Denny's or chicken farmers who love a good egg, as humanity has always been fascinated with them. Therefore, since it's Easter, we might as well dive into why Easter eggs exist, and why there's a bunny going around with them in a basket.


Easter Eggs:

For some unfathomable reason, humans have always taken to decorating eggs. Long before Christianity, Islam, or Judaism existed, evidence shows humans decorated ostrich eggs 60,000 years ago in parts of Africa. The Sumerians and Egyptians maintained the tradition thousands of years before Moses or Jesus arrived on the scene, and those civilizations often placed decorated eggs in graves, too.

(((shrugs))) People have been buried with weirder things.

Let's assume the Sumerians' eggs looked slightly different.

It's largely a portrayal and symbolism of vitality and birth that captivated people. This fascination with eggs continued with Christianity after the death of Jesus, as followers began dyeing eggs red as a representation of Christ's blood at his crucifixion and sacrifice for all to have eternal life.

Bloody eggs commemorating murder? Gather 'round the kids! I know I'll never look at one of those PAAS Easter egg kits the same way again.

All the allure of a crucifixion!

Likewise, for centuries eggs were banned to be eaten during the forty days of Lent leading up Easter, part of a slew of foods and drink to instill a fast. Since chickens are uncooperative rebels and still have eggs nonstop, there was always a surplus of eggs to consume by the time Easter arrived, where feasts on hoarded eggs occurred so food didn't spoil.

The Western Christian denominations rescinded the ban long ago, so your Sunday morning omelette is still safe. Eastern Orthodox churches still maintain the ban, though. This might explain why you can find a Denny's in Japan, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates, but nowhere Eastern Orthodox churches are popular.

Not popular around the Eastern Orthodox folks.

Many have tried to symbolize the egg in a Christian vein (despite egg popularity pre-dating Christianity by 58,000 years), suggesting the egg represents the tomb Christ's body was placed in, or, again, the potential for rebirth and eternal life. Alas, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the Bible never jotted that egg nugget down, so take it with a grain of salt.


Easter Bunny:

Short and simple, it was the Germans who popularized the Easter Bunny myth. Since none of this egg history really makes sense, let's invite the Germans to this international party to confuse it more.

Germany has always had a distinguished history with folktales, and the appearance of rabbits or hares in those tales frequently occurred. Stories about the animals were passed down through generations, often with allusions to their--(((ahem)))--procreation abilities.

As with all things related to spring, rabbits' sexual proclivities symbolized rebirth in Northern Christian churches, so much so that the "three hares" symbol became popular as a design accent on medieval churches. With Easter occurring only in the springtime, the combination of rabbits to the holiday was a simple addition for German folklorists.

None of this creepy old greeting card should make a lick of sense to you.

Tales of the Easter Bunny were passed down through the oral tradition before German physician and botanist Georg Franck von Franckenau wrote about the tale of a hare in his 1682 work De ovis paschalibus, which was the first written mention of the Easter Bunny.

German Lutherans popularized the Easter Bunny myth as a teaching tool to children, suggesting the rabbit would come on Easter to judge children on whether they deserved to be given the ever-coveted eggs. Yes, it's just like you always thought. The Easter Bunny really is just a springtime version of Santa Claus.

It's good to be number one.

The Pennsylvania Dutch Protestants and emigrating Germans to America brought this fable of the Easter Bunny with them, calling it "Osterhase" or "Easter Hare," and American commercialization and affinity for soft, fluffy looking animals took right on over from there.


Conclusion:

None of this explains or defends the cheap plastic grass in those Easter baskets or these guys: