Germany to finally publish 'Mein Kampf.' Millions about to fall asleep.

Looks like someone else read Mein Kampf.

Germany has spent the better part of the last 80-years trying to smother any acknowledgment of their Nazi past. This includes banning the publication of Mein Kampf, Adolf Hitler's roughly 600-page rant written decades before World War II.

Indeed, Germany was granted the copyright to the book after the war by Allies--and Germany chose to make sure publication never happened within its borders during that time. Copyright law states the holder of the copyright owns it for 70 years after the writer's death. Now, with the 70th anniversary of Hitler's death upon us, the copyright is set to expire--and the German Institute for Contemporary History intends to publish Mein Kampf for the first time in the country.

It won't simply be a basic republication of the book though. German law also forbids anything related to Nazism that isn't heavily annotated to be critical of the regime, propaganda, and heinous actions undertaken then. Thus, Hitler's 600-page snoozer* of a book will now be inflated to nearly 2,000 pages, filled with notes, commentaries, and annotations regarding all "lies, half-truths and vicious tirades," the institute says.

The book is estimated to cost $63.




*Buy Mein Kampf in person at a bookstore sometime. You'll never feel more awkward purchasing a book at a Barnes & Noble than you will when you slide that one across the counter to the middle-aged woman with glasses on the bridge of her nose channeling her inner librarian, as she gazes up at you briefly to make sure you aren't shady. [I was doing a school project on World War II.] Toe-curling awkwardness, where you'll want to say--loudly--"I'm not an anti-Semite! It's research! I swear!" while you start to sweat and question why you didn't just buy the damn thing online. To make matters worse, Hitler was as good of a writer as he was as a human being--which is to say horrible, horrible, horrible. If you find Ambien, Lunesta, or any other prescription medication isn't helping you sleep, that alcohol doesn't do the trick, you can take solace in the fact that you'll pass out from sheer boredom five pages into reading Mein Kampf.

This is all to say that Germany is about to unleash a wave of book-induced narcolepsy upon its people.