Tom Brady deposition proves that billionaires and millionaires don't understand basic grammar and/or spelling.

Tom Brady gives an example of how little grammar people know.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has been in a bit of a brouhaha for the past 8 months over allegations that he, or those associated with him, deflated footballs, which is against NFL regulations.

If you don't know this already, buy a television.

This week, as part of an opening of information from all parties involved in the court case, Tom Brady's emails were released--which shows that millionaires and billionaires somehow are incapable of writing even remotely acceptable sentences, as the website Deadspin notes.

Let's go to the highlights!!

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Whoopsie Number 1:

From: “Kraft, Robert”
Date: February 10, 2015 at 6:30:55 PM EST
To: Tom Brady
Subject: Re: Balance Starement 12.27.14-1.19.15

Tommy I will cover this as I never want misunderstanding between us I’m sorry if this is happened

We will have a chance to talk about the coming year after you talk to Bill and make sure we have a clear understanding

Much love

Robert

First, we have Brady apparently creating a subject line including the very rare balance "starement"--where one apparently creates a credit or debit based on how long they can out-stare you.

Robert Kraft, owner of the Patriots, replies with a complete lack of knowledge that periods and commas exist. Those pesky, little, dot-like thingmajigs!

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Whoopsie Number 2:

From: Tom Brady
To: J.J. Dudum
Sent: January 21, 2015 6:18:25 PM PST

We are the patriots everything is a big deal >


Proper nouns can be tricky vixens! And apparently the Patriots (proper noun) are such a big deal, they're worthy of a comparison (>) without being compared to everything else.

Or Tom Brady is very meta.

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Whoopsie Number 3:

From: Tom Brady 
To: Eisen, Rich 
Sent: December 30, 2014 3:53:53 AM PST 
Received: December 30, 2014 3:53:53 AM PST 
RE: We got our man

Yeah its a great day for the wolverines. Go blue

Good lord, it looks like Brady is trying to hit all of the grammar snafus at once in two brief sentences. No proper nouns, no commas, no period at the end. This isn't a competition for ineptitude, my friend.


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Whoopsie Number 4:

(On scoring clothes from designer Tom Ford)

On Oct 18, 2014, at 5:19 PM, “Tom Brady” wrote:

>hi tania…i hope you are doing well and enjoying your fall. i was wondering if there was anything new to show me or any updates on the polos with the rugby fabric. also do you have any of the black sneakers in the high top in my size or any suit fabrics? thanks Tania


Tom loves him some anti-capitalization and some sweet Polos with the rugby fabric. And when I think sneakers, I think of Tom Ford...for the arch support.

Also, what's with the addiction to the > symbol? It's like a poor man's Pac-Man showing up randomly in his emails.


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Whoopsie Number 5:

(Billionaire owner of the NHL's Vancouver Canucks emails Brady...)

On Feb 22, 2015, at 8:45 PM, Francesco Aquilini wrote:

Just so you know who is coming tomorrow They all know to keep our meeting very confidential, not to discuss it with anyone. See you tomorrow

When you're a billionaire, I guess periods aren't required, or terribly coherent sentences. "Just so you know who is coming tomorrow"? I don't know, Jesus Christ and Superman? You tell me, pal. This was an email regarding a meeting over sports training, but Aquilini makes it sound like a nuclear weapons negotiation.

Also, don't we all kind of wish we were named Francesco Aquilini?